JB Bamboozles Pub & Grille — Restaurant in Dearborn

Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because I just experienced a pizza so… unique, it deserves a review written in interpretive dance. But since you asked for words, here we go.

It all started with a flyer slipped under my door: “Guaranteed Gourmet Grub – Papa Tony’s Totally Terrific Tomato Temptation!” The picture showed a pizza glistening like a freshly Zambonied ice rink, topped with what appeared to be artisanal pepperoni and strategically placed basil leaves. My stomach, a seasoned veteran of late-night cravings, rumbled in anticipation.

Fast forward 45 minutes and a questionable knock later. The delivery guy, bless his sweat-soaked t-shirt, handed over a box that felt suspiciously light. Opening it was like unveiling a modern art piece… if modern art was made by a toddler with a glue stick and whatever was lurking in the back of the fridge.

The “Totally Terrific Tomato Temptation” looked less like a pizza and more like a culinary cry for help. The crust, advertised as “hand-tossed,” appeared to have been aggressively flung against a wall and then reluctantly baked. One side was charred to a crisp that could shatter diamonds, while the other remained pale and doughy, like it was still contemplating its life choices.

The sauce, a vibrant shade of… something vaguely reddish, was applied with the artistic flair of a Jackson Pollock painting – splattered randomly with no discernible pattern. I found a rogue pool of it clinging precariously to the edge, threatening to cascade onto my unsuspecting sweatpants.

And the toppings. Oh, the toppings. The “artisanal pepperoni” looked suspiciously like sliced hot dogs that had witnessed a traumatic event. They were scattered sparsely, like lost buttons on a beige carpet. The “strategically placed basil leaves” were present, yes, but they were wilted and brown, as if they’d given up on their strategic mission halfway through.

The cheese, a rubbery, translucent layer, stretched with the tenacity of a toddler clinging to a toy. Taking a bite was an adventure. My teeth wrestled with the varying textures – the crunchy char, the gummy dough, the springy cheese, and the surprisingly resilient hot dog discs. The flavor profile was equally… adventurous. It tasted vaguely of tomato, with undertones of existential dread and a hint of whatever cleaning product the delivery guy might have spilled in his car.

My official review? This pizza was less a “Totally Terrific Tomato Temptation” and more of a “Slightly Sad Starch Situation.” It was the culinary equivalent of a participation trophy – technically a pizza, but not something you’d brag about. I’d give it a solid 2 out of 5 stars, with the two stars awarded solely for the sheer comedic value of the experience.

In conclusion, Papa Tony, your “Gourmet Grub” has inspired a story, which is more than I can say for most of the edible things I’ve encountered. Perhaps stick to delivering flyers? They were surprisingly well-executed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go brush my teeth and contemplate the meaning of pizza… and life.

The bottom line get the Reuben sliders...

I’ve been here a few times and get decent service, usually. Today I come in with a group of people. My server, Christina, only charged me for one drink, when I had 3. I WROTE down exactly what I had to ensure I would not rip her off/get her in trouble. She then charges my bill on a friends tab, which she never provided the itemized receipt. The amount seemed very off for 3 drinks when I’ve been a few times with 3 drinks and it wasn’t $10 a drink, with my usual drinks. She didn’t offer to pull back the bill. The service was very suspicious today. I understand getting overwhelmed as a server, hence why I still left her a tip. But something was very off tonight with charging people’s cards!!

In addition no one was offered a food menu or at minimum a water after...

The girls were great! There were two of them one was Tiffany the other I cant remember her name but she had short blonde hair, like to the base of her neck, and a pull on hat. The bar was pretty full when we got there, there were 3 of us and we had to sit at a bar table because there weren't 3 seats next to each other at the rail. We were greeted quickly and the blonde, she was mainly taking care of us, answered all of our questions and gave us time to decide. The beer was perfect the wine glasses are really nice and the food was great we had hit buffalo wings and the meat lovers pizza. We saw that they're half off on Mondays so next time we're in Dearborn we'll...