Porter's Restaurant and Smokehouse — Restaurant in Farmington

Came in from Phoenix to visit my dad. It’s a running joke that there isn’t hardly anything to chose from in Farmington in terms of places to go out to eat, so my dad suggested this since it had been 10 years since we had gone. Weren’t impressed the first time, even less impressed this time, and let me tell you why. For starters, I elected to order off the kids menu because it’s medically recommended to me by my HCP to do so because of a diagnosed stomach issue. Do I order off the adult menu? Occasionally, but majority of the time I either order off the kids menu or request a half/lunch portion. I order for my child, then proceeded to do so for me. The waitress in all her patronizing glory asks me “is the child’s steak finger portion for you ma’am” (and this already set me off because to be quite frank with you, she has 0 business asking me that) but to humor her and for the sake of not wasting my energy arguing with her, I said “yep it is”, so she proceeds to inform me that she “cannot do that” and offers an adult portion and, again, for the sake of not arguing with a wall and explaining a medical condition to the hall monitor of waitresses who would indubitably either continue to hall monitor the menu and state she’d need to check with management or tell me regardless she’d still be unable to do it (spoiler: if it’s medical, they have to) I said whatever and ordered the adult portion. Humor me, maybe it’ll be so good I’ll take it home for leftovers, eh? Wrong. It’s some of the most bland and slimy food I’ve ever had with TERRIBLE cuts of meat used. My 4yo who notoriously loves French fries was repulsed with hers which was confirmed by a taste test through my fiancé, and my dad’s prime rib was completely devoid of any flavor of any kind. The only person who had a reasonable plate come out was my fiancé and he ordered pasta which isn’t difficult by any measure to do correctly. Living in a substantially larger city for the last decade obviously offers better and more diverse food choices, but it also means I’m not very picky- at all. I can and will eat most things; I despise food waste and wasting money. But this was just entirely inedible and not once have I ever been told I cannot order off the children’s menu when the establishment doesn’t even offer a smaller portion- not even in little ole Farmington. That rule and the fact she (unfortunately didn’t have a name tag otherwise I’d be glad to include her name) so fervently enforced the “policy” is a clear window to what actually is the focus to this place: monetary gain with customer satisfaction as a mere afterthought, and even that may be sugarcoating...

Went there with family for a quick lunch. Everything was fine, 3 adults 1 child and 1 baby. We got our drinks and ordered. My husband works there so we thought we would get an employee discount. We asked our server how the discount worked since he never used it and she said it only works on his meal and not the whole ticket. It suck but wasn’t that big of deal, then we asked for the ticket before our food came out because the person paying had to leave soon before her lunch was over. When we got the ticket the server wrote she’s charging us gratitude because there’s 5 or more people. We asked why since the last person was only a baby and she came off strong. Saying it says that on the menu and if we have a problem to call the owners and lastly she doesn’t work for free. All of us were baffled by the attitude and words she said to us after asking a simple question. Finally the owner came and explained the employee discount only works when the employee is working, we count as 5 people, and didn’t say much about the server’s attitude. After calmly talking him and explaining the situation he came to the decision to take the tip off. As we were about to walk out we said we were just trying to enjoy lunch and eat but now we had to take everything to go and didn’t have time to eat. Then the owner said it wasnt their fault ?

Completely understand about not wanting to serve a table that isn’t going to tip because I’ve been in that position myself before. But saying “I don’t work for free” to a customer before they could pay and getting an attitude over nothing doesn’t sit right with me. We could’ve yelled and went crazy but we stayed calmed and explained rather than argue. Whatever Kammi the server/manager was going through DID NOT need to be taken out on a family just trying to enjoy and grab a quick lunch. And the owner needed to at apologize to us and put his workers in place !

Update: No I’m not taking down this review even though the owner thinks it’s “not fair”. What’s not fair is even after we didn’t leave a tip because of bad service but apparently owner thinks it’s okay to tip bad service $20. We were paying costumers who deserved to be treated nicely without servers or owners getting defensive over something that could’ve easily been solved with respectful interactions. Plus found out she lied about saying she was a manger.. after we asked if we could...

This is a great place to bring your grandparents. (But maybe grab a snack before you come.)

The service is excellent, and there's a nostalgic "Yee haw" vibe to the atmosphere and decor. The handmade stained glass booth dividers are gorgeous!

Plus there's like a 90% chance that if you bring your grandparent here, they'll run into someone they know!

There's even a buffet, which not many places have anymore. (Personally, they're not for me, but old people seem to love 'em!)

The food... is perfect for the target audience, I guess. I've been here a couple times, and the food was never bad, but I wouldn't say it's good. Consistently mediocre, I guess. I found it mushy, bland, and heavily salted. But that's exactly what old people like. So, they know their target audience!

The BBQ sauce is mostly ketchup. The brisket was tender - but didn't have much flavor. The ketchup sauce didn't help. But I took the leftovers home, added some real BBQ sauce, and it was pretty good!

The Mac and Cheese was the opposite - rich cheesy flavor, but with the consistency of runny soup.

Avoid the Reuben! It's hard to get a good Reuben this far West, but this was the saddest one I've had yet. The cheese wasn't melted, and it was slathered with way too much dressing - which made the whole sandwich soggy and falling apart. I could see the sourkraut, but I couldn't taste it. The pimentos and sweet pickle were bizarre additions that just made things worse. It's like an AI tried to draw a picture of a Reuben just based on a scene from Law and Order with a deli in the background.

The house specialty Texas succotash... well, it makes you appreciate New Mexico calibacitas! The charred corn has a nice flavor, but the squash is overcooked into mush. Again though, that's just how old people like it!

So definitely bring your grandparents here, but don't necessarily bring...