Seinfeld Episode: “The Bag Pizza Fiasco” Pizza king - Thursday night Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are crammed into their usual booth. Jerry’s picking at a slice of pizza on a plate, looking skeptical. The pizza box sits open, but it’s oddly crumpled, like it’s been through a war. JERRY (pointing at the pizza) What is this? I mean, what is this? Thirty bucks for a 14-inch pizza, and it shows up in a bag? A bag, George! Like it’s takeout lo mein! GEORGE (slamming his coffee mug down) A bag?! Who delivers pizza in a bag? Was it a paper bag? Plastic? Was it one of those reusable tote bags from Whole Foods? I need specifics, Jerry! JERRY Paper. Thin, greasy paper. The kind that rips when you look at it wrong. I open it, and the cheese is sliding off like it’s trying to escape! ELAINE (leaning in, incredulous) Wait, wait, wait. You paid thirty dollars for this? For a pizza that looks like it was delivered by a bicycle courier with a grudge? JERRY Exactly! And it wasn’t even good! It’s like they forgot the flavor. It’s just… dough and sadness. KRAMER (bursting in, wild-eyed, holding a crumpled paper bag) Jerry, I heard about your pizza situation. This is a travesty! A culinary crime! I’m starting a petition—pizza deserves boxes, man! Boxes! (slaps the table) It’s about respect! GEORGE (muttering, staring at his hands) Thirty dollars… I could’ve gotten two footlongs from Subway for that. Two! With extra banana peppers! INT. PIZZA PLACE - LATER The gang storms into the pizzeria, a dimly lit joint called “Slice of Heaven.” A bored cashier, TONY, leans on the counter, chewing gum. The place smells faintly of burnt crust. JERRY (approaching Tony) Excuse me, Tony, is it? Can you explain why my pizza came in a bag? A bag! What’s next, delivering calzones in a sock? TONY (shrugs) Boxes are expensive, man. Bags are eco-friendly. You got a problem with saving the planet? ELAINE (snorting) Eco-friendly? The pizza was practically a soup by the time it got to Jerry’s! The toppings were swimming in grease! KRAMER (pointing dramatically) This is an outrage! You’re destabilizing the pizza ecosystem! Boxes provide structure, Tony! Structure! TONY (deadpan) You want structure? Go eat at Domino’s. GEORGE (panicking, voice rising) I can’t go to Domino’s! They know me there! I’m banned for life after the “extra cheese incident” of ’93! INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT The gang’s back at Jerry’s, surrounded by takeout containers. Kramer’s pacing, holding a pizza box like it’s a sacred artifact. KRAMER (intense) I’m telling you, Jerry, this bag thing—it’s a conspiracy. Big Paper’s trying to take down Big Cardboard. I’m going to the top with this! ELAINE (rolling her eyes, eating Chinese food) Kramer, you’re nuts. It’s just a bad pizza place. Let it go. JERRY (sighs, tossing a crust onto the table) You know what the worst part is? I’m still hungry. Thirty bucks, and I’m sitting here dreaming of a Hot Pocket. GEORGE (staring into space, haunted) Thirty bucks… I could’ve bought a new tie. A nice tie. Maybe even a clip-on… Suddenly, NEWMAN bursts in, holding a pristine pizza box from a rival joint, “Pizza Palace.” NEWMAN (smirking) Well, well, well, Seinfeld. Heard about your little bag pizza debacle. Should’ve gone to Pizza Palace. (opens the box, revealing a perfect pie) Boxes, Jerry. It’s all about the boxes. JERRY (glaring) Get out, Newman. Newman chuckles, takes a slice, and saunters out. The gang stares at the pizza box longingly as the screen fades to black. CLOSING CREDITS Over the funky bassline, we see Kramer outside “Slice of Heaven,” picketing with a sign that reads: “BRING BACK THE BOX!” A crowd of confused passersby ignores...
Read moreA long time ago, my brother and I went to Pizza King several times and liked it quite a bit. Recently, my family had a small get-together and we decided to try it again. Unfortunately, Pizza King fell short of expectations, and we were left wondering whether the quality declined or whether nostalgia tainted our memories.
We ordered a sausage pizza and a cheese pizza, with several sides of BBQ dipping sauce. Between the two pizzas, the sausage pizza was by far the best, but not all that good in an absolute sense. The sausage itself was good, but, as whole, the pizza was dry due to a lack cheese and sauce. Things continued to go down hill with the cheese pizza. I would characterize it as a bland, greasy slab of sadness, falling somewhere between a Lunchable pizza and a frozen Totino's pizza. The pizza crust was dry, thin and bland without any evidence of tomato sauce. The BBQ dipping sauce was cloyingly sweet, consisting primarily of high fructose corn syrup and liquid smoke flavoring. Its only redeeming quality was its ability to help the dry shards of crust slide down my gullet.
Overall, the food was mediocre and overpriced. I would recommend Little Caesars over Pizza King, as it tastes better at a fourth...
Read moreVery Good restaurant for pizza and Italian foods!! Handicapped parking and restrooms are readily available to the consumer and their guests! Enjoy fast and professionally experienced waiters and waitresses. They take my order, bring my drink and my dinner is served within a matter of minutes. It's always a great experience, succulent foods and relaxing atmosphere to go to Pizza King and enjoy a fantastically, artistically, nutritional prepared meal!!! Kudos and God's Blessings to all the staff and management of Pizza King!!! I had my retirement party here at Clara's 3 years ago and they let us use 1/2 of the restaurant for associates, family and friends to gather and reminiscent for 5 hours. It was great and the staff were helpful and abliging to our needs and all the pizzas were hot and fantastic!!! This Clara's restaurant was named after the original Clara's in Muncie where Pizza King originated. SUPER SERVICE Clara's Pizza King!!! God Bless all of your staff into an abundant and happy future as you continue serving...
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