Grand Coney — Restaurant in Grand Rapids

My eyes are immediately drawn to the unique style of dish that the onion rings arrive in. They are a cut above the plain white plate, and of an entirely different character than the plastic baskets lined with a modicum of greasy waxed paper. It is oblong and mysterious, not unlike an albino, open-faced banana peel.

Within this peel, however, one finds a reasonable portion of crispy onion rings, rather than the pale and smooth flesh of a banana. The onion rings seem fairly consistently breaded, almost to a fault, as it suggests either a ruthlessly efficient mass production in a kitchen (which, I admit, is possible), or the far more likely fruit of a frozen bag.

A ramekin of zesty sauce was delicately balanced within the oblong dish, striking me more as a bold artistic statement on the fragility of civilization than an optimal placement for sauce.

My initial suspicion of frozen rings seem to have hit a snag, as the onion rings ooze with a robust taste of butter and grease, coming from the core of a well-cooked onion. While possible in frozen rings, it is exceedingly rare. The batter is well seasoned, and is cooked to a delicate crisp without being overdone.

Though the zesty sauce was precarious, it delivered a solid complement to the flavors of the onion ring. All told, I have no major complaints about the taste, but it was missing a little bit of the "wow" factor necessary to take it to the next level.

Typically, the taste and texture of an onion ring are intimately related, and understanding one provides crucial hints to the other. In this case, the maxim holds true. With a good volume of onion-derived grease pouring out in each bite, I could safely determine (and confirm with subsequent bites) that the onions were well cooked. That is to say, not too overdone as to be mushy, and not so underdone as to be raw.

Likewise, the batter hits the right notes between a burnt husk and a soft circle of raw better. There is some slippage, but not much. As with taste, the texture didn't quite hit all the right notes, but it was singing the right song.

Though the onion rings are solid in both taste and texture, the quantity leaves a bit to be desired for the price. At $5 for the mystery dish mounded with onion rings, they don't quite manage to rise to perfection, but it's a good bite at...

June 29, 2022 Update: I was in touch with Grand Coney staff, and they made a mistake handling my order. I also made a mistake by not checking the menu in advance, so I have learned a lesson as well. Since I have had so many positive experiences over the years. I am changing my rating up to 4 stars.

June 27, 2022 CAVEAT EMPTOR. Today I went with a group to get breakfast. I have been at the Grand Coney periodically over the last 10 years, and my relatives are regulars for coffee and/or breakfast. They ordered a breakfast, and I ordered exactly the same items; the only difference was that they were drinking coffee and I was drinking ice water. When the bills came at the end of the meal, my bill was $2.13 more than the others. I told the waitress that there was a mistake. She told me that because I did not order coffee, it did not count as a Senior Traditional Breakfast special, and so I needed to pay the higher price. I asked why she hadn't told me that when I ordered. She had no answer, but said she couldn't change the bill because that is the restaurant's policy. Unfortunately, I did not see a menu before ordering, and was unaware of this bizarre policy. It would seem that the logical thing to do would have been to inform someone that they are making a more expensive choice by not having the coffee. I got the impression that they don't care whether I ever come back again. Like it or lump it. Long story short, I am letting anyone who might possibly be reading this review that they should be sure to get a drink when ordering the Senior Traditional Breakfast special. Grand Coney has lost a lot of respect from me for this strange policy. Perhaps they will train their staff better in the future. I have never experienced anything like this in many years of going to restaurants. I lowered my rating from 5 to 2 stars (instead of one star, because of sentimentality for my father and uncles who frequented the restaurant on nearly a daily basis before they passed away).

My earlier rating from 2021 (5 stars) "Friendly service, good COVID-19...

I was recommended this local place so decided to check it and get some food to go. It was a bit busy so I can excuse the wait, but I can’t excuse everything else. The prices on the menu don’t match your total and when I asked a server why, she replied that they had a 10% to go fee to each item on top of a 3% service fee. I can understand to go fee. but they charge you per item not per container. so we ordered two Detroit chili cheese, corn dog baskets with fries. They charged us 10% on each basket and then rounded it up and then charged us the extra $.99 for each fry +10% on each fry that we’re going in the same container as the hotdogs and charged us an additional unknown dollar with the fries. We also ordered a Dr Pepper, which was 3/4 of the way full and they charged us $3.75 plus the 10% fee. The staff was far from helpful when asked for an itemized bill, all I was told was it would be stapled to my bag. when I receive my food, I asked about the fees and they said oh that’s normal. I did not see it printed anywhere on the menu and I was still overcharged regardless the hot dogs are so tough to bite into that when you finally did the entire middle came out, leaving just a casing behind the fries were so over seasoned and greasy that they were practically in edible. When I called and spoke with the manager, they just said that that’s how they serve it and they’ve never had complaints before. I can understand having a bad experience with the food but charging people 10% for each food item on top of a 3% service fee is really just a slick way of ripping off your customers. So disappointed and underwhelmed and at the same time extremely and raged and feeling scammed out...