Twelve Pine — Restaurant in Peterborough

What do you get when you have a joint run by an out-of-state owner (New York) and marginally-palatable food? You get Twelve Pine.

Now, on their web site, they will display all of the awards they have received, but note that none of them were earned from the current owner. The current owner has nothing to do with them. The only award he should receive is systematically​ tearing down everything that the previous owner built up. He is rude to customers​​. He chastises​ his employees in front of customers. ​When my wife bought one of their sub-par cappuccinos​ and two cookies, she went to the table to do some work on her laptop. The owner strolled over and told her to leave. I guess her weekly patronage to that place doesn't compare to a four-way table-top of schoolmarms​ eating their half-sandwich and cup of soup that they split. For a town known for its writers and artists, I guess one needs to apply for a fellowship at the MacDowell Art Colony in order to sit and write a book. Best avoid an establishment that serves coffee and offers seating, Peterborough isn't Paris after all, is it? That would be too cool. There is a reason for this. The O.G. town residents are dying off and the out-of-towners, like the Twelve Pines owner are moving in and selling out this quaint town to urban sprawl and provincials.

The girls that work are all well-meaning​ but seem stressed out and overworked. Judging by the Glassdoor reviews, I see that even minors are pushed​ through a nine-hour​ day without a break, so I understand why they are what they are. Again, the onus of poor customer service lies with the owner and his manager.

THE FOOD: Once I bought the chicken burrito. Imagine Gerber Pureed Chicken baby food with a few pieces of white meat poured inside a deep-fried burrito. These are then piled all day on a plate in a glass showcase with nice frilly kale to give it color. When you order this burrito to be served hot, it isn't​ refried. The counter-person plunks it on a plate and pushes a button on the microwave oven. When it is served (without a smile, for these workers have the zeal of an Orc slaving in the caves of Mordor), the fried shell is lamentably soggy. The inside is blistering hot like molten lava, not from heat convection, but a freakin' microwave! When this piece of crap is stabbed, the whole gelatinous baby food mess oozes out all over the place as if it were Julius Caesar.​ You can't eat​ it until it cools, and once it cools, you are now eating wallpaper paste with that tough chewy chicken that gets that way from nuking the crap out of meat. Believe me when​ I say that you are better off buying a Whopper from Burger King, because at least the mystery meat sourced from razed Brazilian rain forest cows was put through a burger cooker.

Thall of the charm and imagination of a Depression-era soup line.

COFFEE: Nobody there is a trained barista. The coffee in the urns is often lukewarm. The Chai comes from syrups and therefore is always too sweet in that sickening way one hearkens to their childhood when they drank Zarex. None of it is any good. They are stretching themselves thin trying to cover all fronts to exploit tourist dollars.

Don't forget to not take photos! That's right. This joint is so exclusive, so special and so unique, that photography is prohibited! Now, is it because​ there's a Picasso hanging on the wall? Or, maybe it's​ so posh with hordes of celebrity dining? Not sure. My suspicion is that the current owner is leery of Yelp reviews like mine with on-site photos for evidence.

Twelve Pine only deserves to go out of business so a better place can move into that space. That's all one...

Holy Lord.

I sent my husband to 12 Pine for some soup. Apparently, they weren't serving soup on this day despite the website stating it was a menu item. Okay - grab a burrito, I say.. and this is where the fun begins.

My husband sees the burrito bar and anticipates they will whip up a burrito right there. Kinda like the place around the corner that is now permanently closed. No such luck. "Do you want it hot or cold?" Says the lady. Who eats a cold burrito?! Is this some sort of trick question? So he tells her hot. She places it IN THE MICROWAVE with a cover.

So... I'm back at the car manning our three hooligans and taking a rest because I'm pregnant with the 4th. It's a total circus, I realize this. He comes back with this burrito and tells me it was nuked. First thoughts: Oh my. I opened the container, and - as I suspected - the burrito was visibly soggy. I poke the burrito and immediately confirm my suspicions. At this point, I pick up the burrito, and it breaks open from being wet, and all the contents spill out. I can now see what looks like chicken and cream cheese and am even more confused / concerned by what happened. This does not at all match menu descriptions.

So my pregnant alarm bells are going off, and I am decidedly not eating this. But my husband is committed because we paid money for this thing. So he dives in. The smell is awful. And he says the taste is worse. But he goes for it - at least as far as his stomach is able to handle (about 75%). At which point, he is nauseous and calls it quits.

We drive home (leftovers in hand), which he sits on the counter. We stepped out for a bit and came home to find that our 100-lb black Labrador had labrasharked his way through the kitchen and finished the remainder of said burrito. The dog spends the evening panting - I'm not sure this was due to the humidity or the burrito, only time will tell.

In the meantime, husband recovered well enough to eat some dinner, but on a trip through the house to find a doll for our youngest, he had an emergency.

Jury is still out on whether our dog also blows out his backside.

Twelve Pine gets two stars because the outside is always well decorated.

To add: this place does not appear to be very child friendly. If you have two kids, just skip it. Signage says you need to be holding hands at all times, and I'm trying to figure out how to hold the hands of two children...

Love, love, LOVE Twelve Pine! I don't understand the very few unhappy people who left derogatory reviews. IMHO they seem more personal attacks against the owner and staff than constructive feedback. I used to work in Peterborough and still travel there to go to Twelve Pine even tho it's a drive for me now. There were and are a small number of transplants who have an air of bourgeoisie entitlement about them. They don't like to wait, or be told they can't have/do something that they think they're entitled to. The negative-nannies won't influence the old school patrons and all the better if their reviews keep others of their ilk from patronizing the cafe. For those complaining about not being able to sit at the dining room tables to be on their computers for long periods, there is a nice green space in back of Toadstool that has a gazebo and benches to sit and eat during nice weather. Just be sure to bring your own hotspot if you want to go on the internet. Twelve Pine's owner has continually succeeded in improving everything about the cafe--from the menu and food quality, to the dining room environment, and overall dining/shopping experience. He keeps people employed in a small town where the economic environment can be difficult. He's fastidious in his efforts to keep the place clean for the safety of his patrons, and the staff are always cordial, hardworking, and helpful. In a time when restaurants are struggling to stay alive, I really appreciate Twelve Pine. My experiences over the years have always been...