Soluna — Restaurant in San Antonio

It seemed like a place I would have enjoyed. Went with family (9 people) It was the first time for everyone. We went on a Saturday night to celebrate a family members birthday. We all wanted to try it as reviews seemed good. We got there, and there was at least an hour wait. We got in after over an hour which is fine. When we got to a table, they expected us to sit at two square tables (which normally sits 4) that we're pushed together. Remember I said 9 people. Well if you do the math, and remember that the tables were pushed together, they expe to squeeze 9 people on a table that sits 6 comfortably. Not cool. We asked to get another table joined to not be so crowded. After some delebration, they agreed but it was awkward for us to go thru what we did. Server (marco I think, but not sure that was real or not) was ok. Took a while to get water to the tables, he wanted our order before we even got settled in and not everyone had water yet. Then kept pushing drink order on us and we told him we don't drink alcohol. Must have not hear dthe first 2 times I guess. After getting chips and salsa for everyone we ordered the fresh guac, and spicy queso. Guac was good. Plated with about 6 red chips. I wondered why just 6, but realized that it probably just took 6 chips to finish it. It was pretty close. Lol. It was laughable because it was good, but not worth the price. I've had better where they make the guac in front of you for less $. The queso was decent, would have been better if they refilled the chips when it came. They did keep up with the waters, but whomever ordered sodas, they were not being kept up. The server, marco, didn't take the time to listen to our requests and was rushing everything which took him more time to do certain tasks. If he heard or asked about our requests he could have made less trips, and saved time. Menu seemed delicious, but in the rush if things I just picked what I normally know. Pollo Loco. It wasn't great. In fact it was probably on the bottom 5 of my list of worst or not so good pollo loco's. I guess the chicken breast didn't seem like a breast to me. I think it was a thigh. The corn tortillia that it sat in was stale, and the rice was cold. Salad had way too much dressing but no flavor. I think the only decent item on that plate was the beans. My friends ordered different vegetarian items (I was the only non-veg in the group) and they all didn't like it much, except the enchiladas. It was three of them with a different sauce on each one. Forgot the name, but they liked that. Churro was decent, I didn't care for the coconut ice cream. Other things to mention, bathroom was decently clean, but no paper towels! For a so-called fine dinning areas with these prices, you would think paper towels are in order, especially in these times with the germs out there. The other thing I was disappointed is that our appitizers got to the table before our silverware or towels. Why? I don't know. I don't think they knew. At the time we got sat down and served, the restaurant was clearing out so it's not like they were slammed. They were busy, bit not slammed. Also I did give one star for marco who gave my son a scoop of ice cream because someone else we were with it was their birthday, and we ordered ice cream with churro. That was nice. Highly disappointed in a fine establishment like this to rush customers, while service was less than par and not take time to save time. Maybe one day we will try again, but not...

This restaurant is so loud that I was actually hoarse from yelling to my dinner companions, and we still didn't hear half of what we were saying to each other. The noise level was absolutely incredible, supernatural, even. I've been to rock concerts that were quieter. Very stressful.

The food is just okay. Except for the refried beans--those were nasty. I mentioned (actually yelled at the top of my voice to be heard over the noise) to the waiter that there were enormous chunks of undercooked onions in the beans and he explained (actually screamed over the cacophony) that onions are cooked in a big pan of lard, which is later mixed with the beans. Okay, I realize that many restaurants use lard to make their refried beans, but I do not want to be reminded of it. Gross.

The service was bad. First, who is the scary young woman who opens the door for customers? I'm pretty sure that she was a zombie who wanted to kill me. She gave me such an malevolent look when we first went in that I wondered what I had done to make her hate me so much. Then I figured that she couldn't possibly work there, because what would be the point of having a person whose only task is to open the door and give people dirty looks? But she was still there when we left, still opening the door, and still just as surly. Second, our waiter was not friendly, which is okay in my book if he's a good waiter, but he really wasn't. He delivered our food, but then never came back. We had to find him and ask for our bill. At that point, we were so frantic to leave the overwhelming noise that I considered crashing through the window just to escape. He basically made us feel that we weren't important enough to merit his attention.

Finally, why is there a guy selling jewelry right outside the front entrance? Isn't that just a wee bit trashy? I went there to eat dinner, not feel pressured into buying stuff.

So, to summarize, if you're in the mood to go street shopping, then have a zombie girl give you the evil eye, then have your eardrums abused, then eat some mediocre food, and finally be ignored by your waiter,...

Today called for a celebration as my wife rounded the corner and headed for the home plate of another birthday meal. We wanted to meet Sonny Jim in the wiles of the Jumanji patio jungle seating at Soluna, but the popcorn showers today raised the humidity level to heights only Houstonians could appreciate.

The hubbub inside was picking up at 3pm as the wait folks buzzed about in their black shirts emblazoned with the word "chispa" in bold white letters looking like animated black and white billboard negatives.

It appeared that almost every table had some form of margarita with a sea of clear goblets full of ice and straws fracking through that iciness to drain the fast disappearing reservoir of delicious but strong tequila concoction. My wife aquiesced to the norm, but I had a cold Carta Blanca and loved it.

B&C nachos with guacamole were a satisfying beginner as we awaited our entrees. Just in time they located a florist in the kitchen to garnish our plates of saucy goodness right before departing the chef's kitchen realm. I debated on eating the artfully placed delicate flower or affixing it to my lapel. Though I was lapel-less I decided not to eat the flower either. So, the flower served as a fine witness to the consumption of fresher than fresh lobster in the cilantro cream covered enchiladas and for the skewered gulf shrimp with the same masterful sauce. It was the stuff that bumper hitch consumption dreams are made of.

Decibels beginning to rise to traffic noise level orchestrated by a burgeoning family youth population and a well lubricated happy hour crowd (though there is no happy hour), we relinquished our table and gathered up only one styro container to go. The food had been good enough to over stuff lightening our usually 2nd dinner packed styros. Most happy and satiated in the culmination of an excellent birthday dinner. I guess a complementary piece of bithday tres leches is a thing of the...