Ro Hyde Park — Restaurant in Tampa

Ooooof. This place was a huge miss.

We spent $510 for 2 people on the special Polynesian night menu, and it was easily the worst value for money I have ever spent on a meal. Each culture was entirely misrepresented, and not a single innovative or memorable flavor.

Six uninspired (bordering on inedible) dishes were served with six FULL cocktails, all overbearingly sweet and unbalanced. I’m not sure if their goal was to get us so drunk that we wouldn’t notice how mediocre the food was, or if it was to justify the $250 price tag, but that is a wild amount of sugar and alcohol to expect us to consume in 1.5 hours on a Tuesday night. You can only have 2 drinks in front of you, so if you couldn’t drink at a rate of 1 old fashion per 15 minutes, it was taken away.

Chefs were clearly hoping we lacked any knowledge of Polynesian food, or even basic ingredients for that matter, as we were consistently lied to about the name and authenticity of the ingredients.

It started with an unknown white fish swimming in one-note coconut broth. Too large a portion with no textural contrast whatsoever, with a spoon to eat the ceviche like a soup? The odd sweet “broth” was overpowered by an even sweeter ube cocktail.

The next dish was yet another poorly executed ceviche-style dish. Lomi lomi, a traditional Hawaiian dish that usually resembles a pico de gallo dip with salmon, was a textural nightmare. King salmon was mealy and mushy, as if it was old and had been marinating in lime juice for far too long, ruining the integrity of the flesh. We were told it was topped with micro cilantro (it was mature cilantro), tomato confit (which is tomato slow cooked in fat, this was clearly just a marinated raw cherry tomato), and Maui onion (we got a very poorly cut red onion…Maui onions are yellow). Sesame oil was above and behind the dominating flavor, which we were told this was the “traditional Hawaiian style”. I LOVE sesame oil, but lomi lomi doesn’t even have sesame in it. Maybe they were thinking of tuna poke???

Pork belly tasted of jarred hoisin sauce, and lacked any of the qualities you seek out in pork belly…no crispy skin, no melt-in-the-mouth rendered fat, no fall-apart tender meat.

Basic cold grilled shrimp with a very average papaya salad was one of the better dishes - at least it had a savory component to cut through all the sugar. Fried rice with wagyu was good….garlic confit was an actual confit this time, wagyu was far from top grade (lack of marbling) and had been sitting under a heat lamp for a bit (congealed fried egg, cut surface of meat dried out), but at least the flavors were more balanced, even if I have eaten this exact same dish a dozen times since chili crisp first went into style ten years ago.

Dessert was good. Halo halo had texture and flavor, but when I tried to decipher the menu to see what the coconut cake was at the bottom, my heart sank once again when I saw that it was supposed to be flan…this had neither the texture nor flavor of flan.

Servers were nice enough, but we were sat at the very end of the chefs “tasting table” and treated as an afterthought. A thick glass display case of dried out (was this supposed to be Peking??) duck acted as barrier between us and the kitchen. We could hardly hear any of the dishes being described to us, and we certainly could not see them being prepared. The chef couldn’t even reach us to hand us dishes, so we were served separately after the other 6 guests were served personally by the chef. Far from the level of service I would expect for an automatic 20% gratuity (which is added prior to calculating tax so we also pay the tax for the 20% service charge 🤯).

For $255 per person, please assume your guests understand food well enough to know when they are being lied to about the authenticity of the recipes and ingredients. $250 was literally how much I spent on my last round trip plane ticket to Hawaii.

It is too late for us, but if I can save at least one diner’s wallet and stomach from a similarly disappointing experience, then I will not have...

My wife and I, exhausted new parents, finally secured a brief, child-free moment. We chose Ro, and let me tell you, this place is not for the masses. It's a sanctuary of intentional discomfort and sensory challenge.

The Art of the Hostile Seating We were immediately ushered to the bar area—a thoughtful seating choice that ensures the customer knows their place. Our high-top chairs, a triumph of minimalist design, achieve peak ergonomic hostility. They are specifically calibrated to make your lower back seize up after 30 minutes, encouraging a swift and efficient departure. We truly admired this commitment to table turnover.

The attention to detail continued with the menus. Instead of wasteful, disposable paper, Ro reuses unlamented cardstock, proudly displaying a rich history of greasy smears and fingerprints. These aren't just dirty menus; they are historical artifacts chronicling every delighted diner who came before us.

The Server: A Scent of True Authenticity Our server was an absolute revelation. While other restaurants rely on bland professionalism, Ro provides an immersive sensory experience. He brought a rare, pungent, almost stale body odor to the table, suggesting a life lived fully and authentically before his shift began. It was a bold artistic choice—a fragrance profile so unique we did everything we could to make him linger just a little longer.

The filth on the serving ware was another touch of genius. Our sake flight arrived on a wooden board artfully painted with sticky, prior-customer grease and spilled sake. It spoke to an uncompromising dedication to the environment—why clean it when you can simply add character?

Culinary Provocation and Acoustic Immersion Ro claims to fly in fish daily, yet our sushi tasted… challenging. For $300 spent on just a few rolls and a small sake flight, the fish provided a subtle, complex hint of "almost expired." This is clearly a dish for the most discerning palates who appreciate a culinary dare.

And finally, the atmosphere. We were treated to a powerful acoustic program: vulgar, ghetto music, played loud. Most "high-end" restaurants bore you with soft jazz, but Ro understands its patrons crave intensity. This music choice provides a much-needed jolt of street-level grit, reminding you that you are dining at the cutting edge of cultural irony. It perfectly complemented the stinky server and the greasy tables.

We left Ro feeling financially relieved of $300 and deeply honored to have endured such a profoundly unique and uncomfortable experience. If you enjoy discomfort, filth, and subtle olfactory challenges, you simply must go. But if you're looking for good food and service, stick to the pedestrian choices like Bar Taco or...

Let me first say that we have frequented Ro for brunch for monthssssss. We had some issues during this visit but all issues were resolved by our server who was awesome and doing above and beyond her job.

Going during brunch is such a good way to try out this restaurant without paying the large price tag of a dinner.

What we love most about Ro is that we can always walk in and get a table (for 2), the vibes are amazing because it is the most gorgeously designed restaurant and they always have the best music (helloooooooo 00's R&B).

When things are done as expected, you should receive a nice little hot rehydrated hand towel to clean your hands before beginning your meal. This time we did not but it was due to being short-staffed. Once we brought it to the attention of our server, she immediately fixed it and brought the towels over for us. We also had some issues with the way our food came out, in that the nigiri came out at the same time as our whole meal. We were missing soy sauce and our utensils (other than chopsticks) so we couldn't eat either the nigiri or the meal we ordered. It then took us a good 10 minutes to get our servers attention because again she was literally serving the entire room herself. Brought it up to her and she offered to reheat/refire our food since we waited so long, brought the items we were missing, and also offered an additional glass of champagne to make up for the issues. Again, this is not normally our experience and she did her best to make it right.

Now, let's get to the food. Their nigiri is always amazinggggg and reasonably priced. I like that you can either get 1 or 2 pieces and aren't locked into either option. For our entrees, I got the Bulgogi Skirt Steak and Eggs and my wife got the Spicy Karaage. We were both very surprised by the presentation of the Spicy Karaage because when ordering Karaage at any other restaurant, it's usually fried tiny pieces of chicken. This came with an entire chicken leg on the top. It was super strange and my wife did not eat that. It just doesn't make sense when you serve boneless chicken with bone-in chicken. Outside of the presentation, the flavor was great and the serving size was generous. We had to take some home. My dish was absolutely delicious. No notes.

Oh and don't let me forget that you never have to pay for dessert here! They ALWAYS give you free soft serve at the end that is some awesome new flavor they created that day/week. That day, we got Ube soft serve with Biscoff crumble on top.

We will always be back and excited to see what new items they bring...