MAGS Farm — Attraction in Albert-Eden

ASB MAGS farm is an integral part of the Mount Albert Grammar lifeblood and teaches students valuable life lessons and skills. Most importantly, it broadens the horizons of city dwelling kids from the usual expected STEM career pathways and brings them closer to the rural way of life that until not too long ago, we prided this country on -- even in the cities. It is an invaluable asset to both the community and the country in fact, as it is teaching Auckland's future farmers and agribusiness professionals, including myself. If it weren't for this farm I, and many others would not be studying at Lincoln/Massey Universities, or agricultural schools such and Telford and Smedley completing programmes to spend our lives working to feed the world. At a time when scarcity and supply chain issues in the global food industry are very seriously pulling the limits of human development into question; institutions such as this, which aim to improve how we operate the agricultural sector are proving to be increasingly important.

The ASB MAGS farm was the best part of my entire schooling experience. Both the agricultural business/science teaching paired with the pracital experience of working on the farm itself (which was really where I learned the most) grounded me with unique skills that most young people and even adults in Auckland wouldn't have. The teachers were second-to-none and had great relationships with their students. I now study at New Zealand's premier land-based university: Lincoln; and couldn't be more grateful to the MAGS farm for providing me with the grounding, discipline, skills and perspective to allow me to be confident in the decision to continue my studies and begin my professional life in the world's most critical field of study --...

Here’s a vivid review based on your description:

Visiting the infamous Yolon Bird estate is an experience that assaults every sense. From the moment you approach, the house-farm announces itself with a pungent aroma that lingers in the nostrils long after departure—a heady cocktail of mold, decay, and the unmistakable tang of greasy, greasy pig birds. The structure itself is a patchwork of rotting wood and sagging beams, leaning precariously as if in perpetual exhaustion. Windows, caked with filth, barely allow sunlight to penetrate, giving the interiors a dim, almost subterranean gloom.

Inside, the chaos continues. The Yolon Birds flit noisily across the cluttered spaces, their feathers dusted with grime, while the pig birds wallow in thick layers of slop, leaving behind a trail of slick, shiny footprints. Every surface seems sticky to the touch, yet paradoxically brittle and crumbling under even the lightest pressure. Despite the neglect, there’s a peculiar charm—a testament to the tenacity of life thriving in sheer squalor.

For those seeking cleanliness, comfort, or serenity, this house-farm is a hard pass. But for the adventurous—or those morbidly curious—who wish to witness nature’s greasy, unpolished theater, the Yolon Bird estate offers an unforgettable, nose-wrinkling spectacle.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (2/5 for bravery, 0/5 for hygiene)

If you want, I can also write an even more humorously grotesque version, emphasizing the “greasy greasy” nature of the pig birds. Do you want...

I didn't enjoy my experience at this farm whatsoever. As a MAGS alum myself, I hold a great sense of pride in my school and its facilities, but was VERY disappointed in the lack of swine present. Whilst I did have a blast rolling around in mud alongside the lambs and cows, and squeezing through the door to the chicken coop (it was significantly after hours, but despite the door being locked, it was no match for my immense force leaning on it), there was simply no pigs. Whether permission for my entry is granted or not, for any chance of my return to this farm, a swine exhibit simply MUST be put in place. I think you will find numerous others agree with me on this topic, also yearning for an increase in Sus scrofa domesticus population.

PS - I have noticed a Mount Albert Grammar staff member who I will refer to as "Mr. Lanky" lurking around the farm a reasonable amount, seemingly on the prowl for some MAGS cows' udders.

A kind thank you to any look into this matter, I hope to have a more enjoyable experience at this agricultural centre in the future.

This is James Finn "SFH" Gallagher Cahalan signing off. Catch you on...