Montclair Antique Center — Attraction in Montclair

I have been collecting art and antiques since I was a kid. I have been to many of the world’s best shops, markets, and galleries. Even at the highest end galleries in Paris I am treated with the utmost respect, even if I’m looking at a piece that I could never afford.

At Montclair Antique Center, I am always treated as if I don’t belong there and can’t afford anything. Their collection has never appealed to me, as it is mostly overpriced, stuffy items that have fallen out of fashion many years ago. Having said that, I still pop in from time to time to see if they got anything new. Their collection rarely changes. Items that are priced at $400 can often be found online for under $100. As a result, nothing ever moves. The old items stay there at the same price and new items rarely come in.

I have had bad experiences there in the past, but hesitated to leave a review. After going back today, I felt I had to share my experience.

The owner greeted me with the typical “can I help you find anything?” to which I replied “No thank you, just looking.” The owner has seen me many times before and I’ve even purchased items from the store before on a couple occasions. That didn’t stop her from following me around the entire store, taking a step forward every time I did.

I went on my phone for a minute and she scolded me, “No pictures!” I explained to her that I wasn’t taking photos and she proceeded to tell me that taking photos causes big problems. I asked her what type of problems it causes and she said it’s private. I inquired a couple more times and then she finally answered that if I take pictures I can come back and rob them. I told her nicely that I hope she doesn’t think I will come back to rob them.

She then followed me some more and when we got back towards the front of the shop I heard her tell the other woman that “you have to follow everybody”.

I went up to them and very nicely offered a piece of advice. “Get more cameras in the store because it makes customers feel very uneasy to be followed and treated like thieves.”

So here’s where I’ll leave it. If a shop is good enough, with a solid, ever-changing collection of interesting and beautiful antiques as a fair and honest price, you can belittle me, follow me, and treat me like a lowlife and I will keep coming back. Montclair Antique Center, however, doesn’t have the collection to keep me shopping there even if they treated me like an angel.

It’s a shame to see that so many other customers of theirs have the same exact...

Upon entering this establishment, my friend and I were greeted with a scowl. I did not know 5 seconds was enough time to determine that someone walking into your shop was an objectively unsavory character. The only inference I can make is that this store is run directly by our reptile overlords, as their perception of personality is far beyond what could be expected of a human. As we all know, the reptilians have infiltrated every seat of government and likely rule at least 86% of this world’s nations. I was aware of their political ambitions but I was unaware that they were intent on controlling the private sector as well. They still have much to learn as overpriced antiques seems to be a poor market to gain a foothold in local business.

Anyway, after the serpentine proprietor had regained her composure and remembered to stay in character, she interrogated us as to what our intentions were in their establishment. I can only assume that the store is a front to study general human behavior. I informed her that I was looking for furniture for a home library that my family was building, at which time she told us to go ahead and peruse her wares. Upon walking to the other side of the store and breaking her line of sight from the counter, I heard her tell her fellow lizard woman to follow us. At first I took offense to this as I had never been surveilled in a store before, but then it all made sense. It’s not that they distrust us; it’s that we’ve also broken our line of sight to the front windows and no one will be able to see them detain and probe us. I should have known from when she first stared us down. I thought I noticed her second pair of eyelids but I must have mistaken them for contact lenses. How naive of me to think that the overlords would not try to take over a town like Montclair. After all it’s the perfect balance between trendy and pretentious. After I had realized this, I had only seconds to act. I told my friend that we should leave and under the guise of not finding any of their awful selection interesting (not that we had to feign disinterest), I said that we should leave. We barely made it out alive. Although he has been acting slightly off since we left. I pray that they haven’t replaced him with his reptile doppelgänger while I had my back turned....oh god.

Please...stay away from the middle aged lizard women. Stay away from this place....

This one is an easy one to write. I was hustling down Church street on a hot Wednesday when I looked into the window. There I was stunned by the memorabilia from World War 1 era. Quite honestly it offended me but I keep an open mind. What one woman values a man may not or visa versa. So I entered the store to be greeted by a wonderful lady elegantly dressed. She told me her name as we conversed but I would butcher the spelling if I tried. We talked about history. I threw out some names like Eugene Debs which directly related to the World War 1 time frame of the art. She didn't recognize that name. She in turn told me about China mentioning things totally foreign to me. In our shared naivety and expertise a bond was created. Naturally, I pulled out a poetry book and recited a poem. Excited about the store I left my bag, guitar, and poetry book with the fine lady and took a walk around. This is not a place where one can take in the beauty in one shot. It is like walking through a botanical garden except they had trinkets of wonder instead of flowers. I remarked, "You should charge admission as if this was a museum." Please note if you do shop here bring your credit card and expect to pay a fair...