Jolee Express — Local services in Montreal

If I could give zero stars, I would. Actually, I’d give negative stars if that were a thing!

Oh boy, buckle up for the most absurd morning adventure I had at Jolly Express today at around 9:30 AM. I walked in, innocently craving a couple of fresh, tasty samosas. Little did I know, I was about to step into a comedy-turned-horror show of customer service.

As I approached the counter, I noticed just two lonely samosas sitting there. Naturally, I asked the simple, age-old question, “Are these fresh?” And oh, the saga that unfolded! The older gentleman behind the counter (who, by the way, I’m convinced moonlights as a stand-up comic in a very strange parallel universe) looked at me and, with the straightest face, said, “No, they’re a week old.”

Yes, you read that right: a week old! I almost expected a drumroll and a punchline. But it got even better (or worse). He then launched into a full-on lecture about how “this is Canada, not xyz country(he mentioned my country here),” and how asking if food is fresh is apparently the most outlandish thing since the invention of sliced bread. He made it sound like I’d asked for a golden goose or a magic carpet ride.

So here I was, just a hungry customer, now being treated to a bizarre cultural tirade before I’d even had my breakfast. He seemed to think it was his personal mission to educate me on the geography of freshness and the supposed “stupidity” of my question. Spoiler alert: It’s not stupid to ask if food is fresh. That’s literally the most normal question you can ask at a food counter. But apparently at Jolly Express, you get a side of sass with your samosas.

By the end of it, I felt like I’d stumbled into some twisted sitcom where the punchline is just pure rudeness. Honestly, if they want to run a comedy club instead of a store, they should just put up a sign.

In short: if you enjoy being randomly insulted and having a not-so-charming gentleman rant about cultural differences instead of serving you fresh food, you know...

Just wasted $30 here. Got a takeout of rice and chicken. Literally, a quarter of the mix was fried onions and sliced scallions. The rice was mushy, stewed in what tasted like a mix of powdered broth and soy sauce. Chicken was the worst... it wasn't even chicken. Just pieces of chopped breaded processed nuggets or something of that kind that didn't even taste like meat (and yes, the breading got all soggy in that mushy rice.) Totally disgusting, we could not eat it at all. Very disappointing as we used to get takeouts there quite often, and the food was all right. No idea why it changed that much for the worse, but we're definitely taking our business elsewhere...

Over priced especially just for drinks. I spend 10$ and unable to get a proper bag.. she gave me a bag you use at the grocery store for produce for my cans..and glass bottle of drink.Than when the bag breaks And I ask them if I can have another drink.I was told no, because I should have asked for a bag before I payed? Absolutely terrible. If I spend money somewhere and clearly a regular, this kinda service shouldn’t be ok. I spend money here. Do better for people who spend money here constantly....