Lone Fir Cemetery — Local services in Portland

I am a frequent visitor to Lone Fir Cemetery since 2001 when I saw a small flock of chickens pecking about in this beautiful boneyard. In the intervening years, despite an abundance of deplorable and self-destructive habits, my carcass and consciousness remain mired in and subject to the whims of the human experience. So I have decided that I am immortal and have adopted many of the habits of the immortal. With unlimited time in a universe in its infancy, I have slowed my pace and rock an excruciatingly slow pimpwalk through the passage of time. Cemeteries are excellent locations to meander- time seems to slow and nobody is going anywhere. As an immortal, cemeteries also offer an abundance of opportunities to trash talk the dead for being subject to mortality. I don't know if Death-shaming is a thing, but I find the practice cathartic. If immortality is possible, then an afterlife is also possible. This offers some promise that my diatribes may reach the deceased in their afterlife and rekindle some untoward feelings of self-doubt and loathing from their lives. I don't think these quitters should get a pass from suffering by taking the easy way out while I have to bear that burden for infinity. After berating the deceased for an hour or so, I take out some construction paper and crayons and write a poem that I leave at their tombstone as a record of my visit and to provide some background on my own proposterous and non-consensual entanglement with existence. Here's the poem:

Roots are the Chains of the Natural World

I have proven unkillable.

my immortality driven by acid guts fouling the air in a relentless flatulence of speech.

tethered in place by self-consciousness and doubt

a weed.

growing.

shedding it's parts,

and cannibalizing itself.

season after season.

driven by exterior forces and exhausted by it's effort

to either touch the...

Lone Fir is An enchanting, archaic last resting place for many thousands of early Portlanders, including prominent and influential persons of that era. It dates back to the mid-nineteenth century, and was established in 1855. It precedes the civil war (1863) in its establishment by 8 years, as well as the state of Oregon's incorporation into the Union which did not occur until 1859. This is a old cemetery and is incorporated into the registry of historical places. The name Lone Fir itself suggests that at the time of ts establishment, there was but a single tree its entire 30 + acre plot. This stands in stark contrast to its current heavily wooded and scenic surroundings. It is profoundly cool to just take a stroll thru and look at all the ornate, oxidised moss covered grave markers. Consumed by so many played out past lives, one cannot help but to reflect on their mortality, as well as of the fragile, temporary human...

first time going here and it was not a disappointment. I much prefer to be around dead people than living so this was a lovely experience for my that I would highly recommend for others who also hate living people. the grass was green and lush and there was not too much mud with he rain we just had. I saw a beautiful goth couple meandering around the cemetery I'd like to see more of that for sure. all in all y'all this cemetery is the shitznitzs so y'all should come here and talk to the dead people you know not everyone in this cemetery died of natural...