Brown Cow — Restaurant in Melbourne

Used to come here all the time, but probably won't be anymore. I used to love sitting outdoors... now its all inside and is an absolute echo chamber. It is just so loud, even with the windows open. Also add that the kitchen is just absurdly loud, the chefs are shouting at each other and had a lot of peoples heads turning (staff and customers), something clearly went wrong a couple times in there. The inside does however look great, very modern and stylish, which I give it points for.

The Food: I got the beef burger and my partner got a tomato flatbread. The fries that came with the burger were terrible. They were room temperature and weren't crisp, clearly weren't cooked alongside the burger, probably sitting around for a while. I asked the waiter to take them back for some fresh ones, which they did without question and were very apologetic. The new ones came back, but took 10mins, although they clearly compensated us with about twice as many as usually with a burger, although by which time we had both finished our meals. We shared these fries and they were done properly. The burger itself was alright, it could of done with more onion but I won't get into that. Id have liked the burger to be a bit closer to M/R, but I was fine with it because if they struggle with fries then I won't get started on a burger. I can only assume that the meat patty is frozen and thawed, maybe more than once. My girlfriends flat bread 'looked' great, it really did. however the flatbread itself was dry and chewy, and overly hard on the bottom... overcooked. The bread itself must be frozen aswell, the moisture had been sucked out of it, just so dry on the inside. The topping was nice, but whats the point of a good topping if the base is terrible. Stay away from the flatbread. For $18-20 these are absurd prices.

The staff for the most part were very nice, apart from when a 'large' guy was moving things around for another table and hit my girlfriends leg with the foot of a chair, barley an apology. I felt a little rushed to finish up, pay and leave, as the tables were cleared instantly the moment an empty cup hit the table. It was a busy day, but not full, we hadn't been there long and they were trying to get rid of us.

Overall I won't be back here for a while at the very least. Its over-priced and the food is mediocre at best. When busy it is an echo chamber, I can only imagine it on a day with the windows closed with no-where for the sound to go. They need to look into sound absorbing foam for the ceiling or walls. I've spoken for the food, which was miserable. This place was 'THE' meeting spot for people coming to Hampton, now just the mediocre place on the wrong side of the rail...

We live around the corner from Brown Cow and are there most weekends for drinks and nibbles etc and the service and food & drinks is usually great with staff interacting with customers! We visited there last Sunday with friends and the breakfast others had was generous and tasty with all the extras like pea shoots and individual cooked swirled scrambled eggs on two pieces of sourdough. The breakfast bun was pretty awful but that was one meal out of 6, the rest was great! Today being Mother’s Day we stopped for a coffee after a walk and decided to grab brekky again….massive mistake!! The breakfast was very slow to arrive, and the coffees even slower, arriving half way through our breakfast. The breakfast was so poor as was the service. The eggs were mass over cooked scrambled eggs dumped on the smallest individual piece of toast you’ve ever seen. No pea shoots or care taken in the presentation of a breakfast that cost $20+ per head. The mushrooms were cold and rolling round the plate when set down. The relish was 100% out of a jar and too sweet with little flavour. We were kind of disappointed but sucked it up and just started eating….half way through the single small slice of toast a thick black hair imbedded in the scrambled egg. Needless to say it was not finished and left on the plate. We tried to get the attention of two staff members and neither made eye contact and carried on their way. At one point we went inside for salt and pepper, three staff members ignored our daughter so she walked behind them and got the s&p herself. The staff seemed pre-occupied with setting up for Mother’s Day pre-booked lunches inside and little care taken other paying customers for a Sunday brunch. I’m sad to write this review but paying for less than mediocre service and food is not okay. You are surrounded by cafes that are pumping out consistently great breakfasts and have imagination and are super tasty….how you get by with the breakfast menu you provide is laughable! It’s is the saddest breakfast menu I’ve seen in all the cafes I have ever been to and then to not even execute it well is pretty embarrassing! We have vouched to never eat breakfast there again and will stick to the drinks and nibbles...

Went last night for my partner's birthday. Initially was impressed with the look and how busy it was. We initially swapped tables as we were put at a huge round table as a couple and it didn't feel very intimate for a birthday dinner and the waiter was helpful. After we had moved they took our drink orders but didn't get them quiet right but we let it go. Then it was apparent they were moving tables around to service a large group that had obviously just called or turned up. Was fine until an unfortunately shaped female waitress started lifting chairs thought the dining area. As she walked past me and another dinner on a tablet near by she stood on the jacket of the person next to me nearly falling over she hit me the chair leg. However she was more worried about the jacket she stood on. I let it go untill she nearly clocked me again with the next chair she brought through.

Our food finally arrived but my partner's steak came first assuming mine would be close I told her to go for it. Probably nearly 10 minutes went by before my fish and chips came out (she was well into eating as I sat and just watched). 2 thick slabs of fish soggy on the bottom from not being drained properly and some pretty average looking chips.

Anyway tasted alright we both ate and sat with our knives and forks on our plates, waiters walked past I don't know how many times with them all avoiding eye contact to avoid getting the plates. We decided we couldnt be bothered waiting any more... We walked to the front whilst we waited for any body to acknowledge us to pay (i nearly walked out but my partner said we shouldn't) finally some one arrived didn't ask how it was took the money and catch you later. I would of said I wasn't impressed with the evening but she was too young to care and I just wanted out of there and I was never asked. Not sure what the hype is about that place or why it was so busy. They clearly neglected smaller groups at least our table to service a bigger bill which was disappointing. We both agreed it was very average and no way we...