Newcastle Cruising Yacht Club — Restaurant in Newcastle-Maitland

Barnaby Blinkenthorpe squinted at the schnitzel, bile rising in his throat like a poorly reheated Christmas pudding. He'd envisioned a crispy, golden titan, a monument to avian majesty sculpted in breadcrumbs. Instead, the plate before him resembled a pale moon cratered by neglect, its breading clinging in clumps like molting feathers. The chicken beneath looked like it had spent a week sunbathing on the surface of the sun, its skin the color of a banker's soul after a particularly lucrative bonus.

Barnaby took a shaky breath, his bravado faltering as his stomach lurched. He'd dreamt of a schnitzel symphony, a crispy serenade to crispy schnitzels of yore. This, however, was culinary cacophony, a discordant dirge composed of burnt offerings and despair.

He poked the offending poultry with his fork, a plume of dust rising from the crust like a miniature dust devil. It felt suspiciously cold, an unsettling clamminess oozing from beneath the desiccated carapace. With a deep breath, he braced himself for the first bite, anticipating a symphony of leather and regret.

The crunch, when it came, was not the triumphant fanfare he'd expected. It was a dull thud, like a stale biscuit succumbing to a pneumatic drill. The chicken beneath offered no resistance, shredding into dry, stringy fibers that clung to his teeth like dental floss woven from disappointment.

He forced himself to chew, each mouthful a testament to culinary masochism. The taste was a symphony of the bland, a chorus of cardboard and dust, punctuated by the occasional off-key note of metallic twang. The promised gravy, a brown sludge clinging to the plate's edge, offered no redemption, its flavor a muddy echo of yesterday's eggnog.

Barnaby pushed the plate away, half the schnitzel-abomination remaining like a grim testament to his culinary misadventure. His stomach churned, a rebellion brewing against the avian atrocities it had been forced to endure. He felt a kinship with the abandoned half, a shared sense of suffering in the face of such gastronomic injustice.

With a sigh, he raised his glass, the once-gleaming lager now looking like a puddle of regret. To bad schnitzels, he thought, to culinary nightmares, and to the enduring resilience of the human spirit in the face of truly terrible food. And maybe, just maybe, to a future where a decent schnitzel, a crispy beacon of hope in a world of burnt offerings, might one day grace his plate again.

Barnaby finished his drink, the taste of disappointment clinging to his palate. He left the pub, the image of the abandoned schnitzel-ghost burned into his retinas. It was a reminder, a cautionary tale whispered in breadcrumbs and dust: never again, he vowed, would he allow his Christmas cheer to be seduced by the siren song of a bad schnitzel. He would hold out for the real deal, the crispy king of German gastronomy, even if it took a lifetime of searching.

And so, Barnaby Blinkenthorpe walked into the new year, a little worse for wear but a whole lot wiser. He might have lost the battle against the bad schnitzel, but the war for culinary decency, he knew, was...

Great customer service experience from booking on the phone to being seated for our Tuesday lunch. Friendly bar staff, relaxed atmosphere with vistas of water and moored boats. Great expectations on the food and this was sadly lacking for our dishes. Something for everyone on the menu and definitely enticing with the descriptions on offer. Prawn and chorizo linguine was one main that we thought would shine but it definitely missed the mark. Linguine cooked to perfection but prawns were hard and salty as if brined which clashed with the chorizo. Poor balance. Salad cherry tomato halves could have done with roasting to sweeten. More suitable in a salad and not seasoned at all. Very hearty serving and best suited for a more bland palate. Grilled chicken breast with cranberry and Persian feta was enjoyable when you trimmed the dried outer edges and found the better part of the centre cut. Roasted onion a very nice inclusion when you discarded the burnt outer shell and it added a nice flavour with chicken and cranberries. The beetroot puree was a nice addition but absolutely drowned the meal with it piped in large dabs around the entire plate and had you pushing the food to higher ground to save it from going under. All the ingredients are there for a nice lunch out with burger options and small starters and entrees. Our entree of 6 natural oysters and 6 kilpatrick were the star. The mignonette was light and fresh and complimented the fresh oyster perfectly. Not rushing back but would try something else on the menu if happen to be in...

Obviously, teething issues opening up again. MENU indicates a Specials board, no board; new chef, new menu , so don't put it out there! No issues checking in, covid etc. But no definition between the dining area and lounge, so did not know where to go! Staff assuming we knew! In the ordering area found a sign, I moved it into the spot visible from arrival foyer! Staff new so expected POS issues, better to ask for instructions than to get it wrong. Had flowers delivered for my partner, specifically explained that I was ordering the meals, then going to the bar for drinks and please bring the flowers Over AFTER returning to the table! Oh no, that was too bloody hard, flowers taken to the table whilst I was at the bar, so I never got to present the roses to my partner. Really annoyed about that! I was patient with staff doing the meal ordering, but not shown the same respect! Battered fish was good and easily the most popular by numbers being served. Nice spot with Windows open, bit of annoying noise from the workplaces across the harbour, a bit of background music would have eliminate the noise, plenty of speakers in the roof!! They say, your impression are set in the first 5 minutes and drew the conclusion won't be coming back here. Scratchleys maybe more expensive, but happy to pay for considerate service. To be clear- food good, nice and clean. Service has room for improvement, Get it together before you get super busy in the run from Melbourne Cup...