Castello's Victorian Tavern — Restaurant in Victoria

Exceedingly average. Staff are under-trained. There’s no cracked pepper. Pasta is over cooked - worst carbonara I’ve ever had. It had a whole egg on top. Used under-cooked bacon not pancetta. This was after a staff member confirmed it was excellent too, which is even more alarming as to the cognitive dissonance. Glass of white wine was sour, indicating poor bottle changeover. Wine list terrible to begin with though. No kids cutlery despite kids meals and many young kids here. No interest in trying to improve. Cleared a still eating table. Only redeeming feature is the playground. Steak was OK the other night. Just the meat. Not the salad or chips which were standard cheap s**.

Hard with kids as the QR ordering doesn’t work, there’s no table service and you have to queue up at least twice because you can’t order food and drinks together. Never mind going back for more drinks or dessert. Try doing this with young kids. Speaking of dessert, the kids’ arrived almost looking like dumplings in soup the other day. Clearly had been sitting on the bench for ages or poor freezer temperature control or both. And was of course poor grade in any event. Arguably OK for kids.

Literally everything here is way overpriced. Go elsewhere, including around the corner to Collective. This place wouldn’t exist with competition. Maybe focus on a half edible set of meals instead of a reno. Manager was nice today, but working with poor ingredients by all definitions. And only interested in feedback around the staff, not the poor food. These people just don’t even know what even average looks like, let alone good or great. WELL below par. I’ve been twice and won’t return, but it was evident at looking at the other meals both times that this wasn’t an aberration but their idea of an...

My meals were absolutely delicious, I highly recommend the salt & pepper calamari and you absolutely cannot go past the doughnut fries with rockyroad ice cream yuuuuuummmm!!!! The meals are of a decent size and the prices are what you would expect to pay anywhere else these days. The kids play area is amazing, my 3yr old had a fantastic time playing in there. I like how they’ve sort of separated the entire space into 3 main areas (the pokies behind the glass panels, the main dining area, in the middle they have the toilets and on the other side of that they have the family dining area closest to the kids play area so the little ones don’t disturb the other child free diners to much, but it is all still seamlessly connected. The renovations, upgrades and improvements they have made to the good old Vic Tavern Pub (aka Castello’s) has surely made a difference in patronage. The only issue now is that you need to book your table prior to arrival as it is often booked out. The only disappointment I have is that they have the cocktail and milkshake menu’s out on display but they hadn’t yet stocked up on the ingredients they needed or trained their staff on how to make them. I hope that the next time I manage to get a table there they finally have this drinks menu available. Also, after attending there again tonight I’ve noticed that they really need to rearrange the table placements in front of the toilets so people don’t have to squeeze between two tables to get them, there needs to be more space between the tables and the...

I have been to this place a few times over the last 6 months or so.

I was delighted to see dead bugs around the table. It added some real atmosphere. The left over peices of food on the floor and chairs also excited me for the over priced meals to come!

I last ordered the $30 chiken parma.. it was so soggy I thought they cooked it in the dish washer. The salad was good.. excellent.. 1 singular peice of tomato topped with soggy lettuce and shredded carrots. Dont worry about any dressing.. who needs dressing.

The chips however.. beautifully removed from the freezer and cooked to perfection. Crisp.. delicious..

At one piont whilst struggling to eat my soggy parma made from aldi round sliced ham, fatty cheese and what honestly must have been tomato sauce for a base... i reached for a glass bottle filled with water and was taken back instantly to the 26th of April 1986 in Chernobyl.

It was interesting. I have always wanted to taste water from reactor 4 and see the beautiful soviet pond scum inside and let me tell you!

I indeed got to see it in that bottle of water.

The children around my family began to grow extra arms and legs whilst drinking from the glorious irradiated soviet glass.

I finished my meal.. forcefully as I'm a tight @ss, took out my survival kit.. ate a handful of iodine tablets and left.

It has been 2 days.. I am now glowing when in dark spaces.

Wash your water bottles. Clean your floors, tables ect and stop cooking your food in the dishwasher.

(Signed) A...