KFC Warwick WA — Restaurant in Warwick

I wish I could travel back in time to a period before my dining debacle at KFC, an experience so far removed from the realm of acceptable fast food service that it would give any fair health inspector a heart palpitation. This meal was nothing short of a gourmet catastrophe, a gastronomic gaffe that made me yearn for the luxury of a lukewarm microwavable dinner.

The mantra of fast food is 'fast, fresh, and friendly,' but the only 'F' I would give KFC on this occasion is a resounding FAILURE. For an establishment named Kentucky Fried Chicken, it would be nice if they would remember the 'fried chicken' part. The 20-minute wait I endured for a simple burger was a slog through time that felt like the culinary equivalent of a Tolkien epic.

Navigating their menu was akin to navigating the labyrinth of King Minos, a confusing mess of pictures and names with no sense of cohesion or purpose. Ordering a single burger shouldn't require a compass and a team of dedicated cartographers, but apparently that’s the extra mile we must go at this house of grease-streaked horrors.

The inefficiency of the service at KFC was breathtaking, quite literally so, as the twenty-minute purgatory I spent waiting for my meal left me gasping for breath and yearning for sustenance. In the time it took for my meal to arrive, I could have reared my own chicken, trained it in the culinary arts, and had it prepare me a five-course banquet.

The staff ambled about like poultry without purpose, their blank stares and unhurried movements painting a tableau of mind-numbing inertia that would make a sloth seem speedy by comparison. The person at the counter seemed to move in time-lapse, at a speed that glaciers would find insulting. I swear I saw a mayfly live its entire lifecycle in the time it took them to process my order.

The food, when it finally did arrive, was a lackluster pile of sogginess that bore a faint resemblance to a chicken burger. The chicken was as dry as the Sahara and the buns would've been better used as a makeshift hockey puck. Their attempts at seasoning were reminiscent of a sandstorm in my mouth, the flavors so horribly misplaced that I almost felt sympathy for the poor taste buds subjected to such a...

Citizens of the greater Warwick area. In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. Oftentimes – this negative criticism is misplaced, undeserved and perhaps a little denouncing.

There are times however, where criticism is unquestionably necessary. Tonight, was one of those aforementioned times.

Call me “Haile’s Song” by Eminem, because the weight of the pandemic and impeding collapse of the financial system made me feel like “like the world's on my shoulders”. I should have taken a page out of Marshals book when he said that sometimes he sits staring out the window - I wish I would’ve stayed there.

Instead, I found myself venturing to KFC. I wanted to go to Kingsway, but the line was packed more than a Schapelle bodyboard case. Instead of getting salmonella at knife point in Girraween - we decided on Warwick.

I wager I would've had a better chance of convincing ISIS to convert to Christianity than to convince the manager of Warwick KFC to hire more staff on a Friday night.

I was finally able to order my food but it quickly became apparent that my order was bending the fabric of the workers mind as I had to repeat it over and over again. I think he might have dipped his pipe in to the Colonel's 11 secret herbs before he came to work.

After finally getting the order right, we waited another eterinity for the food.

As reality kicked in and I realised I’d wasted my evening starving at what I can only presume is the gateway to hell, I found myself in even more grief knowing that they would F my order up.

I think I would have rather eaten bat soup at a Wuhan wet market than eat out of that kitchen again. If you know of any scientists looking for the origins of COVID19 - Tell them I know where to find it.

The chicken was so vile that not even Carol Baskin herself would feed it to her tigers

It was bathed in so much oil even Gordon Ramsay would tell them to F off.

I would rather share a needle with Freddie Mercury than to ever risk the...

I had to drive back to Warwick KFC because once again items were missing from my order. I did try phoning 8 times in a row to save a 10 minute drive but no one would answer the phone. As I walked into the store I was on my 9th atempt at calling. There were no customers in store yet I was left standing there with no service and also still no one answering. I could hear laughing and talking from 3 people in the kitchen area. When I called out 'Can I be served please?' 2 people came to the counter. I told one that I had been calling for ages and just wanted to let them know without driving all the way back that my order was missing items. The other, who later said he was the manager, said he was busy and couldnt answer the phone. I told him I was still calling and heard him laughing and mucking around while waiting for almost 5 minutes and there are no customers around to be busy. The first guy who looked to be Sudanese said 'he just said he was busy what do you want' I asked to speak to the manager at this point as it was very confrontational. This is when I was told by Daz that he was the manager at which point they both laughed. This annoyed me because they seemed to take my complaint as a joke. I again said Im just here because you got my order wrong and wouldnt answer the phone. Daz then said that I probably ordered wrong. I told him I ordered a variety bucket and there was no popcorn chicken or strips when I got home so no I didnt order wrong. Daz then told me he could only help if I showed him my receipt. I told him I wasnt given one at the drive through and I wasnt trying to steal from him. Daz said he wasnt going to give me food for free. I got annoyed and told him I paid for food I havent f@#*ing recieved so its not free when I have paid for it. I didnt get my missing items untill I told him I wasnt leaving untill I got what I paid for. I have never been treated with such disrespect and humiliation as this anywhere, ever!! I was so frustrated and angry when I left that I will never again purchase KFC and will be sharing this shocking experience with...