On our way to a weekend getaway in Mont Tremblant, we decided to stop in Montebello for some lunch. Without bothering to check reviews, we simply pulled into town and stopped at the first restaurant we encountered — Le Zouk.

At first glance it appeared like a unique venue with a near-capacity crowd. We were able to secure a table for six on their patio as we found the interior of the venue to be a bit stifling.

Our server was amiable enough, at first. However, once we switched from french to english, things changed dramatically. No one was ready for an alcoholic beverage at this time of day so we simply requested water. That never arrived. In fact, half way through the meal, after multiple requests, my wife finally went to the bartender and procured a pitcher of cold water for our table.

The food was even worse than the service. I ordered the veggie burger which was advertised as including nachos and a side salad. What arrived was a literal joke. In this era of impressive meat substitutes, the burger that arrived was a first-generation, store-brand, frozen patty of literal pressed vegetables (c.1990s), cooked to the consistency of a softened hockey puck. This was served on the smallest and cheapest store-brand burger bun ($2.25 per dozen) with a single leaf of lettuce and a dollop of salad dressing.

I’m not sure what passes for nachos in Montebello but I can’t imagine it in any way resembles what I was served, which consisted of twelve stale, tiny, round, store-brand tortilla chips accompanied by the tiniest plastic ramekin of store-brand tomato salsa — approximately two tablespoons.

The only thing on the plate that was remotely edible was the small sprig of Spring salad and dressing in the middle of the plate. Roughly three bites worth. My wife agreed about the salad, especially since the small frozen pizza they heated up for her was absolutely unpalatable.

Everything on my plate could be purchased at the local grocery store, at retail, for less than $2. Yet, I was charged $20 for this insult of a meal that began with a quality of product that is below what I normally purchase for our everyday meals. And we economize.

To say that we received bad service would be to imply that we received any service at all. Our food server, as previously mentioned, failed to even attempt the bare minimum by bringing us water. When she did bring a plate to the table, she walked up behind me, reached around my left side and dropped the plate from about ten inches off the table — just enough to make a loud statement without tossing the food off the plate. Although, on one occasion, she brushed my elbow as I was eating and almost pushed my fork into my face. No apologies. No acknowledgements. Didn’t care how the food was. Literally wouldn’t give us the time of day. We were blatantly and intentionally ignored.

Not sure what a business in a tourist town doesn’t understand about running a restaurant but you would literally be better off driving ahead to the local grocery store and buying a better version of everything they serve there. Find a nice spot in the park with a grill and you could prepare an infinitely better meal than their unfortunate excuse for cuisine. It barely qualifies as food.