Café Del Parque — Restaurant in Cuenca

For weeks I pass this place and make snide comments about the gringos I see dining inside, assuming this must be yet another expensive joint that caters mostly to their kind. But then I peruse the menu online and think maybe it ain't so bad, maybe I'll give it a try. And so this morning I did, and I'm still a little queasy from that mala idea.

I ordered what read off the menu like a great big breakfast called the Bolívar, even ordered it with the correct Spanish pronunciation—ain't no dang "Bowl-uh-var," k? Twenty minutes I waited for my weak little cup of coffee, thirty I waited for my food, but I'm a patient guy, I recognize it's a busy Brunchday morning, and I know it can take time to prepare a quality meal, so I'm not crying inside or out. No, it's not until the food actually arrives that I start crying inside, as it is perhaps the most disappointing-looking plate I've ever been served.

I started with the serving of fruit and the granola/yogur/fruta cup, both of which were good by me, especially the latter for its relative novelty. It would have been nice if they had actually served these two items earlier since they don't take long to prepare and they are, gastrointestinally speaking, the items that should be consumed first anyway; then I wouldn't have felt I was waiting so long, like I was neglected and forgotten, al contrario, it would have put me at ease and felt more like a multi-course meal. Now, you think about that, güeyes, a pretty simple way to improve your service. Anyway, the fruit was good, but you can't really go wrong with fresh fruit. The cooked food was another story.

Now, in case your Spanish ain't too hot, allow me to do some menu translating for you. "Jamón y queso fundido" would ordinarily mean ham and melted cheese, yes, but in this particular context it roughly translates as a warm, probably microwaved but by no means melted, slice of Kraft cheese slapped atop a thin slice of processed supermarket ham. Similarly, especially if you're from Texas like me, you might think of "chorizo" as a nice hearty sausage, but the Ecuadorian dialect is a little different; here "chorizo" translates to processed supermarket hotdog, one out of two being adequately seared and cooked. And if you think "aguacate" means avocado, you best hop on Duolingo with me, because it actually means one spoonful of guacamole plopped atop your huevos. The good news is they do provide you with salt and hot sauce, so it didn't end up tasting half as bad as it looks. It did fill me up, but it didn't stuff me up like I wanted, and it sure weren't worth no $8 to me. Had it been closer to $4, I'd probably be leaving closer to 4 stars. But I couldn't help feeling mislead by the menu and let down by the dish, especially the meats. I also ended up feeling upset in the old estómago for a couple hours later in the day. Then it went away and returned a few hours later with a most vile vengeance. I don't know whether to chock that up to the processed meat, the yogurt guy, the half-fried eggs, the hot sauce, or the hair in my food—(I've ranked them in order of probability for you there)—but I am certain the upset came from this particular meal because this is the only meal I'd eaten in the preceding 12 hours.

I know it's not fair to condemn a restaurant based off one dish, but now that I actually take the time to look at more pictures and reviews, I don't think it's a case of one milquetoast dish. Reckon I'd have been much better off at Jhuly's café down the street or any number of other local, less fancy-lookin breakfast joints around here that tend to offer more satisfying foods at more affordable prices. I think you'd probably be better off elsewhere,...

Nice decor and interior. I like the style of the place because it's unique from other restaurants. The food though was just okay. The meat sandwich wasn't bad though, however the burger wasn't my favorite, though I liked the fries. Overall the meal I had wasn't too memorable in my opinion, but I also understand that I tried only two items on their menu. I'm willing to give them another chance because the staff was very kind and attentive, plus I visited this restaurant during the power-cut period, so maybe this...

Very friendly, helpful staff. Fast service compared to most restaurants in the area. They have happy hour till 1900 and other specials throughout the week. Like 2 for 1 shakes and smoothies on Tuesdays. The food is good and they have a fairly extensive menu. That said the burgers were disappointing. The papas frites are good but would be better if cooked longer. The restaurant opens at 7am which is earlier than most...