I want to share my experience here, because it left me shaken.
I am a Ukrainian refugee living in Norway. Sometimes, during my lunch break, I would stop by this bakery. The owner is a talkative man, often speaking more than listening, but I never thought much of it.
This time, without any small talk, he looked at me and said: âSo, it seems like there will be peace in Ukraine soon.â I answered honestly that I wasnât sure â before I could explain further, he interrupted me. He went on to say that there are âno men left in my country, all dead,â and that not having enough weapons isnât the problem â âthe problem is there are no men⊠or women. If you donât want to go there.â Then he smirked, as if he had just delivered some clever insight.
When I told him that this was very personal to me as a Ukrainian, he interrupted again: âIt is not personal. The whole Europe is helping you.â He even added that he knows how many people have died, and I donât â as if someone watching TV news is more qualified to talk about my country, my people, and my losses than me.
And this is what I cannot understand: how can someone who knows everything only from TV dare to tell me that this war âisnât personalâ? I fled my home with a four-day-old (!) baby in my arms, leaving behind my family, my city, my life. Not because I wanted to, but because staying meant risking being killed. That is trauma I will carry forever â and yet I am told by a man selling pastries that itâs not âpersonalâ to me.
I didnât come here to be humiliated or lectured. I came to buy lunch. Instead, I left feeling dismissed, disrespected, and dehumanized.
The food may be good, but no croissant is worth being spoken...
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