Restaurante Alto Monte — Restaurant in Funchal

Bit of background: I'm Italian, my fiancé is from Portugal.

Never, ever, ever had such a terrible coffee. Ever.

Not a matter of being a bit over roasted, bland or simply not to our taste. Just awful.

Both normal and decaf.

But don't worry, the pastéis de nata was just as bad. Oily, greasy, chewy and the custard way too runny for any standards.

I'm not a picky eater, at all. But I couldn't finish the coffee and ate the nata out of desperation.

All of this for €6 which in Madeira is extortionate for 2 coffees and 2 natas.

1 star because I'm being...

The food was good, but the service could be much better. We asked to open the outdoor sun umbrellas and it took them 10 minutes with two people trying and it didn't work. However the one further down worked and they didn't bother telling us that the umbrellas were broken or if we wanted to move. We asked for the bill and the lady took ages and it wasn't even busy! I then walked up to the till and asked for the bill she hadent even printed it. They also added extra water to the bill which we never ordered! So please...

Well... Interesting place when it comes to staff that is working there. Very friendly drunk looking grandpa was taking our orders. He recommended some steak sandwich as speciality of the local, therefore we ordered it. Moreover some other beverages and snacks were taken. Soups and drinks were tasty, but these sandwiches were hard to eat. Everything was ok, but the meat. It looked and tastied like frozen sole - hard, rubber and chewy. As plus free chips were...