Barracuda — Restaurant in Dacorum

"Barracuda: A Disaster So Vast It Makes the Titanic Look Like a Dinghy"

Well, where do I even start with this catastrophic mess of a restaurant? Barracuda is the culinary equivalent of an amateur magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat… and then setting the hat on fire. It’s like someone threw a bunch of overcooked seafood into a blender and called it a “dish.” Spoiler alert: it’s not.

Walking into Barracuda is like stepping into the “what not to do” section of a bad reality show. The décor? If Ikea and a dollar store had a child, Barracuda would be it. The walls practically beg you to leave, the chairs make you rethink every life choice you’ve made, and the ambiance screams “we’re trying so hard, but we’re failing miserably.”

Let’s talk about the food—oh wait, I’m sorry, I meant “mystery substances served on plates.” If the goal was to make my taste buds weep in confusion, then mission accomplished. The fish—if you can even call it that—was as fresh as a sock left in the back of a hot car for three days. The scallops? More like chewy erasers someone forgot to flavour. And don’t even get me started on the lobster—what did I do to deserve this betrayal? It tasted like it was pulled from the ocean, boiled in apathy, and served with a side of heartbreak. Honestly, I’ve had more flavour from a damp paper towel.

The sides? Oh, they were just special. The mashed potatoes were lumpy enough to start a protest, the salad was a pile of wet sadness, and the so-called “house dressing” was as flavourful as the floor of a laundromat. I’d get more excitement from chewing on a piece of cardboard.

And the service? If there was an award for the most apathetic, indifferent waitstaff, Barracuda would have a trophy case full of them. Our server moved slower than a sloth on tranquilizers, and her “smile” looked like it was genetically engineered to drain the joy from the room. She somehow made me feel like I was inconveniencing her by being there, which, at that point, was probably true.

And the prices? Let’s just say, I’ve spent less money on a vacation that didn’t end in a full-blown existential crisis. Barracuda charges you like it’s a fine-dining experience, but the only thing fine about it is the fine line between delusion and reality. You could throw your cash into the ocean and get better results.

If you’re looking for a restaurant where the food makes you question your entire existence, where the service makes you long for the days of eating alone in your car, and where you leave with the distinct feeling that you’ve just been robbed—not just of your money, but your will to live—then Barracuda is the place for you.

Do yourself a favour—find somewhere that actually cares about its food and its customers. Barracuda? It's just a joke with no punchline.

"Epic Games will never ask for your...

Barracuda is, without a doubt, my favourite place to eat. The food is always excellent and full of flavour (highly recommend the Tagliatelle agli Spinaci), and I have never experienced better service in a restaurant than I have here. Every member of staff is friendly, incredibly attentive, and always goes the extra mile. I have visited many times and cannot mention a single issue - it’s clear that the team care deeply about their business and their customers. For such great food and an all round impeccable operation that always delivers quality, Barracuda is excellent value for money too. They’re great with kids (happy to accommodate fussy eaters) and are the perfect place for family lunches (make sure you order the garlic bread, it’s absolutely divine!). A must visit if you’re in the area - you won’t...

Colleen & Len had a fantastic Italian meal last night at Barracudas in Tring, it was our first time dinning there. The owner, Giancarlo, was a lovely man, full of welcomes and plenty of very interesting chat. His nephew, Emilio and his niece, Bora ran the pass, and their service was impeccable. There wasn’t enough they could do for us, and always with a broad smile. The chief, Mr M, cooked the food to perfection, full of flavour married together with homemade pasta. They also offered you authentic Italian rice to make the risottos with. We shared a starter and had a main dish each, along with a glass of wine each and that proved to be very good value for money, with the whole bill coming to £50 in total. We shall be going again, soon. Looking forward...