The Flour Pot Bakery - West Hove — Restaurant in Great Britain

I called into this Flour Pot on my way from Brighton to Shoreham. There were three people ahead of me in the queue and another person waiting at the end for his order. I've had Flour Pot coffee before and it was good so I was looking forward to getting served. However, after 10 minutes the queue hadn't moved but the three men behind the counter seemed to be enjoying their conversation between themselves enormously so all was not lost.

The enormous coffee machine they had is obviously very expensive because they appeared to be wanting to preserve its lifespan by only making one coffee on it every hour or two.

After having waited for a very long time the queue hadn't budge and I was beginning to wonder whether or not I had entered a parallel universe where I was walking amongst the population being completely invisible. I started to think about what I would be able to do with my new powers of invisibility. Maybe I could solve crime and help those in need. Maybe I could secretly provide coffee to thirsty people trapped in the time vortex of a Flour Pot queue...

I would've preferred the power of stopping and reversing time because I was beginning to feel the aging process gnawing at my body and soul. I am 50 years old and I'm due to collect my pension in 17 years so time was of the essence of I were to get my coffee before I was needed to clear out my personal belongings from work. This was adding to my my concerns because I was starting to feel my muscles starting to atrophy and a sadness began to creep in as I realised I was never going to meet my grandchildren.

By now the beautifully crafted beards of the staff were many times longer than they were when I arrived and the bemusement at the presence of all the extra places to make coffee on the enormous coffee machine seemed to be increasing. The woman in the queue in front of me, who once had short brown hair, now had long locks of silver and was having trouble standing. I found her a camping chair from the car and placed a tartan blanket over her knees. I still wonder to this day what happened to her and her hopes and dreams.

After many more days, nights and years I decided that my time would be better spent finding an old person's home so I could spend my remaining time in comfort and dignity. It's not how I envisaged seeing out my days, there are no feather pillows but the...

Flour Pot coffee is like a gentle slap in the face—but in a good way. You know the kind of slap that says, 'Hey, wake up, you’ve got this!' The first sip is like your morning alarm, but way less annoying, and by the second sip, you're convinced you could run a marathon... or at least get out of bed without complaining. The barista hands you your coffee with a smile that says, 'This is going to make your day better.' And they’re right. After all, it’s basically caffeine therapy in a cup, minus the therapist's couch and existential crisis. As for the pastries, well, let’s just say they taste like happiness got baked and sprinkled with a little bit of magic—because calories don’t count when it’s this...

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF BUSINESS. THOSE WHO ARE MINDFUL OF LEAVING YOU SATISFIED THAT YOU GOT A GOOD DEAL. AND THOSE WHO TRY TO 'DO YOU'.

I PLACE THIS ESTABLISHMENT IN THE LATTER CATEGORY. THE FIRST BUSINESS IN BRIGHTON WHO WERE CHARGING MORE THAN £4 FOR A COFFEE, LOOONG , LOONG AGO , BEFORE IT BECAME 'NORMAL'.

BACK THEN I HAD SWORN NOT TO RETURN , AND INDEED I DIDNT FOR OVER A YEAR. THE OTHER DAY , DISTRACTED, OFF-GUARD AND ILL-ADVISED I DID,

A FLAT WHITE, IT CAME IN A TINY TINY TINY CUP. AUGMENTED PRICE FOR BEING DECAF (SERIOSULY?) AUGMENTED PRICE FOR BEING NON DAIRY . AND YOU ARE IN THE 4 40 TO £5 REGION, DEPENDING ON YOUR CHOICE.

FINISHED IT IN THREE SWIGS

A MONEYGRAB INDEED. ILL...