D's Kitchen — Restaurant in London

It was with a faint twinge of hope and a roaring hunger that I descended upon D’s Kitchen, a fast-food establishment whose name, I assume, is an abbreviation for Disappointment. The signage, featuring a suspiciously shiny chicken thigh being high-fived by a cartoon fork, should have warned me. But alas — I am a man of the people, and the people were queueing. Fools.

Let us begin with the ambience, or rather, the spectacular absence of it. The walls were painted a shade of beige best described as Depression #4, punctuated only by a rogue wall fan oscillating like it owed money. I perched on a chair that wobbled like it had trust issues, beside a window smeared with the ghosts of meals past.

The menu, presented in luminous, backlit agony, boasted items like “Big D Chicken Meal,” “Mega Mix Bucket,” and — oh sweet heavens — “Saucy Rice Extravaganza.” I opted, with noble optimism, for the D’s Special: spicy chicken wings, peri fries, and a drink which was ominously labelled “fruit punch (may vary).” It certainly did.

The wings arrived in a polystyrene sarcophagus, swimming in a radioactive red sauce that clung to my fingers with the tenacity of guilt. Each bite offered a texture not dissimilar to damp denim, with spice levels dialled up so high it felt less like flavour and more like punishment. One wing appeared to be mostly cartilage, the other an abstract concept.

The peri fries — limp, pale, and dusted in an orange powder of uncertain origin — had all the structural integrity of wet cardboard and the emotional depth of a vending machine. The fruit punch? A syrupy potion that tasted like someone melted a cough sweet into a puddle. It may indeed have been fruit at some stage in its life, but that stage has long passed.

Service was swift in that “don’t ask questions, just take the tray” kind of way. The man at the counter wore the thousand-yard stare of someone who has heard every possible complaint and no longer fears death.

To eat at D’s Kitchen is to participate in a ritual of flavour disinformation. It is not so much dining as it is surviving. A place where heat masquerades as seasoning, and chicken is served with all the tenderness of a tax demand.

In conclusion, if your idea of a meal is a neon-lit, palate-punishing tour through grease, gristle, and gut-wrenching regret — then D’s Kitchen awaits, with its sauces, its squint-inducing signage, and its persistent hum of...

The food overall was really good. I’ve tried d’s a few times and have always been satisfied with the flavour & portions, however I would suggest maybe hiring staff that are a bit more friendly and welcoming.

This is now my third time at D’s kitchen and I always seem to be greeted with the same attitude by the staff on the tills - specifically from the female staff who I believe may be family members of the owner.

The attitude just feels very dismissive and rude in my opinion, I’m not sure if perhaps they’re hangry but one in particular looks like she’s not short of any meals so I’m not sure what it could be.

The Algerian man & his son are always very welcoming, he offered me an extra drink (£1 can drink) for free with my meal for the wait & because I could tell that he sensed some hostility. Within a few minutes of me taking the drink the woman on the till caused a scene and refused to let me have the drink for free and demanded I pay. It just all seemed very undermining to the man who had initially offered and seems to me like an awkward hostile working environment or some kind of power trip for a £1 drink.

I have spoken to most of my friends that say they enjoy the food here but everyone seems to have the same complaints about the staff. I think my my advice as a business owner would be, whilst it may be a family business and may be easier to have your family as front of house, it’s not always beneficial when they behave in such a dismissive way.

Hire some new young welcoming faces, or train your staff on...

It’s rare I score places that are 5. However credit where credit is due.

I visited this place yesterday after a recommendation from a friend. I was very skeptical as I’ve been fooled by social media hype places like these. Also I didn’t really look appealing online however I thought let’s give it a go!

I ordered the Somalian chicken burger meal with Shani. I ordered via phone before getting there as last I went there was a 25/30 min way so I left.

My meal was ready on time. The burger was amazing. Taste great. Good assembly and great sauce. The chips were good they were lightly peri salted which I liked as I don’t like too much. The wings were great and had the same sauce as the burger.

The drink was not as cold as I liked it to be, however this was minor. They gave sauces, Curley and wipes.

The best this about this, it all just costs £10!!! Amazing value for money. Been here twice and both occasions they were packed!

They should lead by example how great food can be with great pricing. The atmosphere isn’t amazing as it’s usually full of younger customers and loud. I would recommend eating inside if you like to have a quick meal and chill.

I have been told the same waffle burger is ridiculously sweet so that’s something to look out for.

However I would highly recommend this place. Great price, great food. Can’t go...