The Dolphin — Restaurant in London

The Dolphin is not a pub. It is the birthplace of good and evil, a terrifying wasteland of the human spirit. Let me recount my experiences, so that you may learn from that which once befell me:

At the door, you don't check in your bag; instead, patrons are asked to abdicate their dignity as sentient beings. This should have been the first sign for me to turn back, but I carried on. The second sign came to me in the form of a G&T with neither gin nor tonic in it: it was, instead, vodka mixed with sprite. I took no heed and carried on. The walls, decorated with faux-Roman mosaics, were covered in stains older than anybody in the room. I sipped my drink and continued to the dancefloor, happily unaware of the scenes of perdition I was about to witness.

On the dancefloor things started to take a turn for the bizarre. People didn't so much dance as shake in frenzy, they didn't sing as much as howl and chant. And amidst these primordial screams that transcended any human emotion, in the rift that opens up between what is and what ought to be, a dark Moloch emerged. Taking shape from the valley of ash and dust that lied amongst the forest of stomping feet, It slowly and steadily engulfed the walls and corners of the hall with Its presence.

At this point the revellers underwent a strange metamorphosis. Their eyes lost focus and turned an iridescent amber; their loose, flying hair merged with their backs; what was once an otherworldly howl turned into a frenzied cry. Man was mixed with beast, and the behest of their Lord they discarded whatever vestiges of humanity remained with them into the corners of the cloakroom.

As the rhythmic beats of The Best of the 90s gave way to the ancient bellow of ox-hide drums, the idolaters called out their God into being. With eyes like bottomless pits of burning coal and an open maw stretching out into eternity, His relief rose to cast a shadow across the whole of the city. The ecstasied crowd, maddened by the mysteries of their rite, rushed to anoint the Idol’s basalt frame with rose-oil and myrrh. Women tore out their hair and men beat their chests, all throwing themselves onto the statue to appease their God. I was beginning to get the Fear, and at that moment the Idol spoke out the following words:

"Who thinks they can lay their hands on mine? That you can tie down my tongue with a rope? You think that I will beg you for mercy? That I will speak to you in gentle words?

I am king over all that are proud; nothing on earth is my equal."

It was at this point, dazed and entranced, that I regained the presence of mind to leave. Only through months of careful penance and meditation was I able to apply for readmission into the human race.

Anyway, since The Dolphin is pretty much the only place around here that's open after 1AM, I give it 3 stars. Solid recommend after the Cat and...

Yesterday myself and my housemate went to the Dolphin quite late in the evening. Initially we thought the dolphin was shut as the door was closed. I tried to open the door and was aggressively greeted by their bouncer (apparently his first ever shift… I think his name is Oms?). He told me “can you not see the door is closed? Don’t do that again” and proceeded to tell me to walk away. I tried to ask what time the dolphin had shut and he said “why are you still here and why are you still talking”. His colleague must have noticed the hostility because he went to check on him at the door. The 2nd bouncer had let us in for a final drink.

When we were about to go Oms’ shift had apparently ended and he’d gone. However when we were outside, he saw us with the 2nd bouncer and went “why did you let her in? She disrespected me.” Started circling around me and being super hostile. Honestly I found him quite scary. Then started saying stuff like “why is she opening her mouth? Who does she think she is?”. I could rattle off a lot of the other things he said. To be honest at this point I just wanted to say sorry if I had offended him and if all could be fine. I put my hand on his bike as he was leaving just so I could have a bit more of a calmer conversation with him. That didn’t land well at all and threatened me. He told the 2nd bouncer to move me away before he does something etc etc.

Like this was seriously unnecessary. I think I probably said a total of like 2 sentences to Oms and I’ve never been spoken to like that in my life. I really wanted to let this go but I’ve thought about this really scary encounter quite a bit today because it really hasn’t sat well with me at all. I was tempted to come in to the dolphin and file a formal complaint about him. But honestly, I’m too scared to see him again. Probably won’t be back if I’m honest.

Dolphin - I urge you not to keep Oms working at your business unless you want him to drive customers away. He’s scary, he’s unnecessarily aggressive and rude, and gives me wild...

Disgraceful behaviour from the security and manager/bar staff. Do not go here as a queer/trans person and expect to feel safe. Myself and a group of friends went to celebrate a birthday. Staff were friendly at first. Was very empty for a Friday and there was 4 security who all seemed to be bored and looking for a fight. Security called my friend a homophobic slur when they entered the pub. Then cornered them outside the toilet and demanded to know ‘what they were’ in progressively more invasive ways. Of course we all grabbed our things to leave, I ran to the loo before leaving and the manager (?) Followed me into the toilets, banging on the door and shouting at me to get out as she thought I was a man and wouldn’t leave until I said I wasn’t multiple times. I complained to the bouncers outside the toilet who then preceded to aggressively ask for my ID to ‘prove my gender’. We left and the manager followed us out saying she didn’t want us to go but at that point it was very clear we weren’t welcome. Left all feeling very shaken and angry. None of the punters had any issue with us we were minding our business, buying pints, doing karaoke having a chill time not causing anyone harm.Shameful discriminatory behaviour, will be warning all my mates and never coming back, I’m sure the staff will be happy to hear. Looks like there’s been lots of complaints about security for aggressive behaviour to women, poc and queer people, these people should be fired or bare minimum receive some...