Crema Coffee & Food — Restaurant in Scotland

I’ll caveat that I am writing this from the perspective of a new mum with a pram and a wonderful baby daughter.

When we popped in the cafe was empty except for one table however, the lady serving insisted that I sit at the only table not looking out a window, at one facing a piece of wall. It seemed at first this was the only way my pram could possibly fit however, the only difference with sitting there vs sitting where I was originally planning to sit with my pram in the same location on the opposite side of the pillar was that I had no view. It transpired over the course of my time in the cafe that the two tables at the back where I had planned to sit were where the two staff members liked to sit when they weren’t serving.

The lady that served me spent the majority of time we were there complaining to everyone that came in about how tired she was, and to help her serve a table outside coffees she left the door open in November which wasn’t the most hospitable.

I had a tuna melt focaccia which was nice, though I had to go and find my own cutlery & salt. There was a smell of the chip fryers that was slightly off putting, but my food was still nice enough.

The toilets are large enough to facilitate disabled access, but there was nothing in place for baby changing so I had to put my changing mat on the floor. It wasn’t the cleanest bathroom I’ve been in.

I’m sure the cafe is fine for single people, but it definitely isn’t...

Staff were very slow off the mark.....disinterested to be honest. When I've been in before in the past the person serving came & took the order. Today it was almost as if there weren't any staff present. This emoji here 🤷‍♀️ sums up the kind of response you would get whenever you asked any questions. Like when I asked for an orange &, lemonade drink......it was like the girl had never heard of it before and after paying for the food and coffees etc I was then told there was no Coronation chicken but that they could do a fried chicken instead & on a wrap if I want? I asked - what else is on the wrap thanks with it? She didn't reply and it was this emoji again 🤷‍♀️ It's laughable really but to be honest - as someone that used to be a waitress.....what good is that when you are dealing with the public & you are front of house, representing the Cafe? It also kills the vibe and atmosphere when you are dealing with staff that just simply can't even be bothered to be there that day. English breakfast food was all cold, toast wasn't toasted it was warm bread. They refunded the English breakfast after we asked and there was no - ("oh I'm really sorry about that" ) and they still charged for the other English Breakfast that was also cold. My chicken wrap was spot on & lovely, great coffee but the lackadaisical staff have put me off...

Pros: The person on the till was friendly. The decor and atmosphere in the main café area was decent.

Cons: The guy in the kitchen wasn't wearing a hair or beard net and I found a hair on my egg. One egg had a runny yolk, the other was overdone. The quality of the food, in general, was akin to that of Wetherspoons, with lukewarm beans and supermarket bread for the toast. The coffee was a very dark roast, which was then over-extracted to give that telling bitter and burnt flavour, with grounds in the bottom of the cup. When I asked for a slice of lemon with my Earl Grey (I had decided against coffee as soon as I got close enough to see the grinder, but my sister wasn't so wise), the surprised server then asked the kitchen to provide one. The lemon showed up with a thin slice and a big chunk - judging by dark remnants on the chunk. they had neglected to use a clean knife for the task.

The overall attitude toward catering needs work, if the offerings are to in any way match the West End persona that the hipster light bulbs pretend the character of this greasy spoon-cum-café to be. A trip to Café Strange Brew or Papercup would be a good study to...