Stopped here for lunch while having a drive around. From the front it looks nice enough, lots of seating outside looking out towards the sea.

We elected to sit inside as the weather was looking a bit threatening. We walked in through the door and were greeted by a waitress I'm going to refer to as 'slopey'. (It'll become apparant why later). We asked for a table for three, "certainly" she replied. We were led to a table looking out through the large bay windows, it was all very nice.

Slopey left us saying she was going to fetch us some menus. We sat at the table and almost immediately got stuck to it. Someone had spilled something sticky on the table and it hadn't been cleaned properly.

We were in a good mood, so were willing to overlook this. 10 minutes later slopey hadn't returned. In the interim we noticed the second waitress, hereafter referred to as 'stompy'. I'm not kidding, she was rattling the tables as she stomped about.

A few minutes later, after marvelling at how so small a waitress could make so much noise, slopey reappeared. We reminded her that we'd like some menus, so off she went again. Luckily she must have remembered what she was there for and, a few minutes later, passed us each a menu and left.

That was the last we saw of slopey for a while. We all decided what we wanted, so waited to see if we could get stompey's attention. A few minutes later and 'thud, thud, thud', stompey was here to take our order.

As slopey had disappeared we took the opportunity to order drinks at the same time as our mains.

A few minutes later slopey gave us our cutlery and brought out our food.

I ordered the '5 minute steak ciabatta with caramelized onion chutney.' A few minutes later it arrived.

The only thing I can really remember was 'pepper.' That was literally all it tasted of. There was an extremely generous helping of peppercorns and a good amount of rocket, which didn't really help things. The onion chutney, which was out of a jar was served in one of those little paper cups you get at Mcdonalds. I spread it over my steak and proceeded to get my head blown off by all the pepper. It was enough to make my eyes water. Every other flavour was completely lost, I could've been eating anything.

Still, we had stompey to keep us entertained. She was running back and forth all over the place. Slopey had long since disappeared.

'Thud, thud, thud.'

About 5 minutes from the end of our meal and even stompey had vanished. We finished and were left waiting for someone to appear so we could pay. We weren't the only ones waiting. By this time there were another 3 or 4 tables waiting at the bar to pay.

Miraculously, slopey reappeared. We flagged her down but she wasn't interested. "Stompey will settle your bill" she said, while walking away. Resigned to our fate, we sat there waiting while stompey settled up the other table's bills.

'Thud, thud, thud.'

When she got around to us we settled up as quickly as possible and left. On the way out we noticed a sign asking for chefs and front of house staff. I can see why.

Jesting aside, I'm not sure if I can recommend this place. The chef doesn't taste anything (peppergeddon) and two waitresses just aren't enough to cover a restaurant of this size.

Maybe I caught them on an off day, but if they struggle with a Monday lunchtime I wouldn't like to visit for dinner on a Friday night.