The Countess — Restaurant in Stratford-on-Avon

IGNORE THE FAKE REVIEWS

LITERAL THIEVES AND SCAMMERS After the meal, the adjacent table said they were charged about £400 when actually they'd paid meals upfront so they should only be charged £50 for drinks! Hearing this, I rushed over to my brother who was paying £467.50 -- thankfully the transaction didn't go through because our total bill should have been £248.50 without the fake charges. We actually paid more than this because my brother just wanted to pay and leave after a ruined birthday and children in tears. They didn't even apologise about it; I said this was very poor conduct after a really bad experience overall, ruining a 70th birthday, and the cashier's (fuller-figured brunette) response was "Well, OK" with such dismissiveness and attitude. I said that's not an appropriate or professional response and she tried to throw the blonde waitress under the bus, blaming her, when the blonde (alongside the boat drivers) had been the only polite staff member. It was clear that they were overcharging customers to pocket the extra amount as tips.

RUDENESS Throughout the journey the two brunette waitresses were extremely rude:

1. I had booked and paid for a table for 10, but they gave me a table for 6 and one for 4. When I asked the brunette waitress if they could be joined together, she said if I don't like it I can get off.
2. The tablecloths and glasses were extremely dirty and when I asked the brunette waitress about it she said in an aggressive and dismissive manner "So what do you want me to do?" and walked off in a huff. She was so rude I called her back while she was walking away and said I wanted it cleaned. Her response: "It was clean when we put it there".

After this, I called Lisa and Nick but they didn't bother to answer the multiple calls. So I emailed them and they ignored that too, indicating that they know the quality of service guests endure.

HYGIENE Beyond the tablecloth being disgusting, looking around the windows on the inside you see thick cobwebs along with a fly infestation. This is the environment they cook in and expect us to dine in. It's truly revolting thinking about how many bugs you're consuming when eating their food.

FOOD Literal thievery, rudeness, and poor hygiene aside, the food is a 3/10. The soup was so salty, most of us left it. The chicken main was dry. The pasta main was flavourless. The desert was fine, but chocolate mousse isn't exactly hard.

OTHER It's poorly organised so you get a break to walk around outside half way through your main course.

The boat is ridiculously hot and, while the windows can be removed, the waitresses didn't bother to tell us. It's only from talking to the friendly boat drivers during the break that we...

We had such a lovely day out on The Countess of Evesham yesterday. We had wanted to find a nice adventure day out with good food, that allowed us to catch our train home and be back in bed before dark (Too old for late nights now!), and we definitely found it. The Countess is a short 15 minute or so walk from the train station, very easy to find using Google Maps, and we were welcomed on board and guided to our table at 11:30am by really cheerful staff. The food menu isn’t overwhelmingly large like some menus can be (I find it really difficult to make food decisions when there are a million things to choose from!). Just a couple of options for each course, and I couldn’t fault it, everything was incredible. All served piping hot and tasted very fresh (I don’t know who made that Parmesan sauce for the chicken, but they deserve some sort of award, I would honestly BATHE in that stuff if I could!). We were on the water for 3 hours and the weather held up nicely so we got some spectacular, sunlit views of, what is arguably, one of the prettiest places in England. At £39.50 for a stunning three course meal and a three hour cruise, it’s an absolute bargain. Not to mention there’s a fully stocked bar, if you fancy being a real pirate for...

The Countess Restaurant Cruiser moored opposite the RSC in Bancroft Basin. Stratford on Avon.

I’ve been on this cruiser about eight times over the years and I have been impressed every time I go on it. I normally go for the 7:30 pm sailing for dinner with friends normally on a birthday celebration. I can honestly say hand on heart it is a great experience to have a three course meal relaxing as you’re cruising up the Avon a total of three hours on the boat the staff are extremely helpful. The food I have never ever been disappointed with it taste absolutely beautiful. They have a short menu normally three choices including vegetarian the same as the desserts and starters they have a selection of drinks, wine spirits and mock tails. If you want a really good evening out with a loved one or friends or to take somebody on a special date, I strongly recommend this. The average bill that I paid was for two people three course meal including drinks was £150.00 in my opinion it’s well worth it. They also do a lunchtime sailing as yet I’ve...