Caffi Cei — Restaurant in Wales

The waitress, dark hair, blunt fringe and glasses. Let’s call her Karen because that’s the modern shorthand for a woman whose primary life mission is to turn the simple act of serving food into a battle. I ask, innocuously, if we could sit here—gesturing a table that, admittedly, had seen better hours of the day. And what does Karen say? Not "Sure, let me clean that for you," nor even a weary, "Give me a sec." No, no. She fires back with the sneering precision of someone whose entire worldview is idiots have arrived! "If you don’t mind sitting at a dirty table, yes." Ah, the elegance. The charm. As if I’ve just requested to sit on a landfill while she graciously allows me the privilege. I could feel the condescension roll off her like heat from a nuclear reactor. The table was dirty, and she was letting me know that it would remain dirty unless I, in all my lowly, customer ignorance, was prepared to sit in filth. So there I stood, as though caught in some Kafkaesque nightmare where the rules of dining had become absurd, and I was the idiot who failed to keep up. It was as if I was meant to grovel at the altar of her disdain, to be thankful that she hadn't suggested I simply eat my food out of the bin. What is it with people who work in hospitality but seem to detest being hospitable? Does she think she's some kind of misunderstood artist, too precious for the mere act of wiping down a table. Karen, darling, here’s a pro tip: the next time you feel the urge to play mind games with a customer, maybe—just maybe—pick up a rag, wipe the bloody table, and save the snark for your inevitable memoir about how you're too good...

Two burgers & chips, coffee and soft drink for £14.95 seems like good value. But if you're going to sell food for a profit at that price, especially in these troubled times, then something has to give, and for me it was quality. As Mrs G said, it's what she would have expected from a burger van (and we've nothing against burger vans). For a cafe though we would have preferred to pay a little bit more and have something better quality. But I fully accept that we might not be the target customers, and if it's a formula that works for the regulars, then...

Awful. Quite the worst coffee we've had in a long time, we could not taste anything but watery milk. Teacake was ok, but unsure if it was butter or margarine on the top as it was spread too thin to tell. Also cash only, but we were only advised of this after ordering, and they were actually turning customers who wanted to pay by card away! No wonder it was practically empty on a busy Saturday afternoon. The decor and layout was equally...