Hacienda Calavera — Restaurant in Cicero

If you are looking for instagram worthy pictures, this is the place for you. Avoid this place if you’re looking for even an ok dining experience. Great music (Latin house), but the vibe is dinner at the night club. I get their business model is selling over-priced watered down drinks by luring in customers with bottle service and colorful AI art on projector screens but at least they could try. I feel like they created a really fun, sexy atmosphere and felt that was enough.

Came in for dinner with a reservation and was sat 15 min late. Ok, not a big deal. We had a server introduce himself and get our drink order and a different server take our food order. Confusing but still, okay I guess.

You can get better drinks at a place like el solazo if you’re trying to stay on the south side. They have a better quality selection of top shelf spirits and much more creative and tasty cocktail options. But I get it, you’re here for the giant cantaritos and the sparklers.

We got our food and no one came to check on us until a busser came to clear a plate and we informed him that the salmon we ordered was missing the mashed potatoes it was supposed to come with. A small dry filet with 3 pieces of asparagus on the plate and a slice of lemon. The busser/(server?) asked if we meant an extra side. He didn’t know the menu.

The tampiqueña we ordered was probably the most disappointing I’ve ever had at a restaurant. A $35 plate offering the blandest cut of meat I’ve ever had with frites on top (the frites were stale to the point of being inedible), a TABLESPOON of guacamole, and a cold, chewy mole enchilada. The mole flavor was ok. We returned the plate after a couple of bites.

The only decent, flavorful plate we had were the mixed fajitas but the accompanying rice and beans portions were tiny 2 oz ramekins with the rice being stale to add insult to injury. They serve a small portion of blue maiz tortillas to accompany but they fell apart and were not very flavorful. I get the aesthetic but they’re better off serving el milagro tortillas for flavor and quality. By the time we were finished, two more different servers came to check on us, having realized our disappointment. Needless to say, we skipped dessert. 2 entrees and one cocktail came out to $88.

This place has so much potential which is why this review is a bummer to write. This is definitely a spot for the girls. The least you could do is take care of them by actually offering quality food and drink options. That’s what makes for long term clientele that keeps you afloat when the next new best thing gives you competition.

PS: Turn down the music just a tiny bit until after...

TLDR - Summary. It was an interesting dining experience but not one I would do a second time.

Pros The food turned up pretty good, And we got some nice pictures. our server did bring us some shots for celebration which was appreciated. Cons. Overall the experiences less than satisfactory, With extremely loud music, slow service, water served in 8oz whiskey glass was only given once 15 mins after we sat down and never refilled after, dirty cups, small portions big prices, giant cutting boards plates, $23 framed photos

If you are considering dining here this was our experience on the 2nd floor.

LIGHTING: It was so dark the bar couldn't see they were giving us dirty glasses.

MUSIC. The music was set so loud you couldn't hear the person next to you.

WATER. We had to return 3 waters because they were dirty. (Which were the only waters we were given that night) and mind you the water was served in a whiskey glass no more than 8 oz. I had to go to the bar to ask for more water after waiting nearly an hour; and the bar smelled almost rancid it made me recoil. We received more alcohol than we did water. And when we did receive water the party members said it tasted like dish soap.

FOOD The food turned out pretty good, The portion sizes were laughable. I got a steak with mashed potatos and "fries" which i didnt realize until someone pointed it out, i thought it was fried onions. The other members of my party would receive half of an onion half of a cut up jalapeno, half the chicken for a chicken alfredo. I get they want to provide quality over quantity but with those prices id want a full serving.

NO PLATES! This was pretty funny, Almost everyone in our party got either steak or something you had to cut up, Which the servers bring us these giant cutting boards which left a very little room for any types of drinks or napkins.

GRATUITY INCLUDED. Keep in mind the restaurant on the 2nd floor This one makes me wonder if my server knew he was getting his portion so he didn't have to try as hard, but keep that in mind if you have a big party.

$23 PICTURES?! Halfway through the service as we're waiting for our food, we're introduced to a photographer and they take a few pictures and at the end they show us the end results and slap a $23 price tag on it. The frame itself is no more than $5 and to print it is maybe 2 so they are up charging about 200% so be careful and dont get...

Came for Mother’s Day dinner group of 9. Was excited to try restaurant based on reviews and TikTok videos. Well I was very disappointed. Our server Gonzalo was not friendly and rude. At arrival it took long time to get appetizer and drink order. Was never offered chips or salsa. Drinks are over priced and overall not very good. Appetizers were ok. Server asked what we were celebrating and we said Mother’s Day and birthday and was told we would get singing and sparklers well none of that happened and my toddler was looking forward to it. Also it was advertised as mariachi for Mother’s Day. I asked server about mariachi and he said no only dj all day, that was false advertisement. We ordered meal my husband asked for steak taco dinner and server said they were out of tacos. Sounded very strange but we didn’t want to make a fuss and he ordered steak fajita. I asked about shrimp tacos and was told the same and I ordered shrimp fajitas. The rest of the table ordered different steak meals. Well we got out food and guess what we got meat and tortillas so why couldn’t we order tacos? My guess he just wanted us to spend more money and order the more expensive dish. Well we never received steak fajita my husband ordered, they have him some steak with mashed potato’s. Asked the server that he didn’t order that he told us well that’s what I heard and I asked you how you wanted meat cooked and we don’t ask that for fajitas so that’s what you get. No apology or tried to rectify the situation and just walked away mid conversation. Food looked ok so husband didn’t want to make a fuss and ate it. At this point I’m upset and just want to be done with our meal and leave. Once we finished meal server asked if we wanted dessert we said no and wanted bill. Server did not bring bill we waited about 10 minutes and he came asking if we wanted to order more drinks again we said no and asked for bill again. As we were leaving another server dropped a plate of food by the kitchen and they didn’t even bother to clean it right away so our group and other ppl were just stepping on food and broken plate to get out. I would not recommend, service not good, food and drinks average at most, crowd and atmosphere ghetto, over priced food and drinks. This place looks better in video and pictures, in person it looks dirty and run down. If I could I would give 0 stars, waste of...