Northern Cabaret Gentlemen’s Club — Restaurant in Fargo

Typical bottom shelf "Gentlemen's Club." My wife and I went with a group of friends for a fun night on Saturday. The waitresses and the girl at the front all had the charisma and demeanor of someone who had just come from a funeral. Bouncers dressed like secret service agents, in all black to complete the funeral like atmosphere, watch patrons like hawks, while also ensuring that the mirror on stage is cleaned every 3 dances, even though no one ever touches it.

Like most clubs, the dancers walk around and offer private lap dances in the "VIP Area" when they are not on stage. I understand this is how they make the majority of their money, but the dancers here are relentless. You feel like you are constantly being circled by lions, and your their dinner. "No Thanks" means "Try again in 3 minutes?"

Finally, we succumbed to the crushing pressure after two dancers offered my wife and I and another couple a 30 minute "group" dance for the 4 of us together for $250. We thought if anything it would be a funny story for later and we would split the cost. The door to the "VIP Area" lists the prices for dances, and a 30 minute dance runs $125. Obviously their (the dancers) logic was $125 per dancer, which makes sense and is fair. They are each making their $125 for 30 minutes of dancing.

Here's where it gets comical. We walk back to the "VIP Area" and are getting ready to pay. One of the dancers is checking in with the DJ (I will call him "Sir Mix-a-Little") who apparently takes the money. She then says "Sorry, I was wrong it's actually $250 a couple, not total, so it will be $500." As we are standing there discussing if we still want to do this and trying to understand their logic, Sir Mix-a-Little interrupts us and says, "Actually, I just did the math and it's going to be $1000 total, $500 per couple."

He says his logic is that there are 4 people getting 30 minute dances at $125 which is $500, times 2 dancers equals $1000. As the others in our group are politely declining before the price doubles again, I ask Sir Mix-a-Little why each of us wouldn't just get their own 30 minute dance with 2 dancers, and ultimately pay 8 dancers instead of just 2. Sir Mix-a-Little had no answer, nor did he have an answer of how 2 dancers are going to give all 4 of us a lap dance at the exact same time, justifying paying the individual dance price.

So, obviously, we aren't going to pay $1000 for a group dance. Now, the 2 dancers, apparently unfazed by the fact that the price quadrupled, seem a bit upset with us because we seem to be backing out at the last second. I guess they probably should have been upset with Sir Mix-a-Little, if anyone. In a last ditch effort, one of the dancers approached our table and told us something to the effect of "Let's do it and all get naked!" Uh... I thought the dancers are supposed to get naked, not us.

The final nail in the coffin... Our drinks were gone when we got back to the table. In the 5 minutes that we had been over in the VIP area, the waitress had assumed that we left, even though our drink tab was still open and she could clearly seeing us standing by Sir Mix-a-Little.

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Feel this place could be so much more than it is. It is the only adult club in North Dakota. They don't offer couch or floor dances per state law. It is all done in their "VIP" room. That of itself drives their pricing even higher. Drinks here are surprisingly inexpensive for this type of venue. 95% of dancers are travelling with most not from or anywhere near Fargo. Some were even from overseas. The issue I take, is with the club's pricing scheme and how they'll hound you for money non-stop. The cover was $8 on a week night and the cashier demanded a tip on the way in. Really? You'll be approached every 5 minutes from the moment you sit down to pay for a dance in their "VIP" room. Talking with some of the dancers I realized they're charged a mandatory $50 house fee + tip out. It seemed high for such a small club in the middle of nowhere on a weeknight, kind of a racket where dancers may not necessarily benefit but the house does which is why the girls pursue private dances so aggressively. They will moan and keep asking you "why not, why not?" throughout the night. One even walked up to me and flat out told me to give her $15, then $5, then $1. I said "why would I give you a dollar?" I had never seen nor talked with this dancer before. A bit off-putting. Private dances are $40-$50 per song or $100 for 15 min. Again, high for the location. One had a momentary slip up and said $25 per song and then quickly changed it to $40 per song. She probably forgot which club and state she was in that week. She said each girl sets her own pricing but that was a lie, it became obvious the management sets the prices. The club was supposed to close at 2AM but the lights to the stage and the music were turned off at 1:29AM. Really? The floor must have had at least 20 customers. It is a clean club with clean bathrooms in a popular college town with no competition for hundreds of miles. They get away with not the best of business practices. You can have a good time here for under $100 if you order drinks, sit near the stage, and tip the dancers on rotation while skipping the ridiculous private dance offers. If they slashed their rates in half this place would be a goldmine and both club and dancers alike could make so much more money. I honestly felt bad for most of those dancers at the end of the night. One in particular, from Italy in her 40s travelling with her friend, seemed so sad and desperate when asking for a dance, like she was having to pay money she didn't even have...

I’ve always enjoyed the northern, despite the reviews, I have always thought the staff and management do a great job, many, many beautiful women, often people mistake being professional for being rude. Quick word of warning to all of the husbands that read these, HUNKS THE SHOW is coming next month, DALLAS, one of the dancers, carry’s around some of the best and newest designer drugs available, and also shares them with their patrons. My wife was a recovering addict, lost in the moment with a group of some of the best looking guys around she slipped, and still struggles. It would be nice if the show had a privacy agreement where these boys didn’t hand out their drugs and phone numbers to customers. Great show though, one she definitely...