Umpa's Diner — Restaurant in Florida

Umpa's Diner- Merritt Island, FL- 2 Stars

Reading the name on my random name generator, I metaphorically wiped my brow. After a run of Italian joints, I was in need of a good ole fashioned American diner, and just my luck, Umpa's Diner in Merritt Island popped up. The drive up was a given spectacular journey as you just can't beat the scenic drive up the island especially when you get to the zero lot line commercial district with zero growth planning.

After being seated I was introduced to my waitress, the owner, Michelle. Michelle is extremely pleasant and informed me she had been here for 10 years. That deserves a shout-out as the restaurant business is a fickle wench and surviving 10 years (including a pandemic) should be congratulated, regardless of the slop they are slingin'.

Thankfully, I got my order of a Tuna melt with fries and two eggs, corned beef hash, home fries, biscuit and a griddle cake, before Michelle was called away to attend to other duties and was replaced by an inattentive, Bogdanoff looking emo named Christina. I wish Michelle had been able to remain my wait staff, but alas, that is not how the cookie crumbled in this case.

After snapping a few requisite snapshots of my fodder, grabbed the tuna melt and commenced to the job in hand. The toast was grilled in margarine, so I have to give some points for that, however, the tuna itself was bland, unseasoned and did not taste exceedingly fresh. It wasn't bad, mind you, it just didn't have the fresh made-to-order taste. The fries were of your average frozen variety.

Moving on to the order of breakfast staples, I found neither the potatoes nor the corned beef hash exuding much in the seasoning department (reminiscent of the Tuna Melt). I understand not wanting to overly salt and pepper your goods before shipping them out, but all three foodstuffs mentioned should have some flavoring. The eggs were average, however, the big conundrum here was the biscuit. It tasted okay but clearly frozen. Michelle might be getting frozen biscuits and other foodstuffs from Sysco, but I can at least attest to the fact that the biscuits are on the higher end. The Johnnycake was thin and flavorless, nothing to write home about.

Umpa's Diner is like hundreds of greasy spoons across this great land of ours that appeal to the lowest common denominator. This place will certainly never win any James Beard Awards (or any other culinary award for that matter), but if you just scraped up $2.00 from your couch cushions or a passing stranger, this would be a King's breakfast.

The Big Boy says, “I don’t know what Umpa means, as I looked in every foreign dictionary I could find. Apparently, it means BAD FOOD STAY AWAY.”...

I was totally impressed with this breakfast and the very low cost. I noticed all the veteran photos on the walls and was told that they give a discount to veterans. The staff was very friendly and the place had a nice crowd. I was watching plates being served to the customers and everything looked appealing to the eye. I ordered the three meat breakfast with home fries, over easy eggs, rye toast and . coffee. As usual, I always take the top off the pepper because the holes on top of the pepper shakers are never big enough to dispense the pepper. I was pleasantly surprised on the medium course of the fresh looking pepper and coated my over easy eggs. My breakfast arrived and was very impressed with the way it looked. It was awesome in taste and they did not have to wash the plate after I was done. I think I will just go there for breakfast from now on and leave the cooking to these fine folks. I am a fairly decent cook myself but how can you not eat here with the low prices. I can't wait to try thr catfish sandwich that is on the menu. I haven't had one of them in ages and look forward to trying that soon. They are open from 7:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. so need to stop by for breakfast or lunch if you're planning to stop by this wonderful place. You will not be disappointed. I want to thank the cook I talked to the other day for letting me know about this place. I live right across the street and glad...

Look, there are more than a few breakast choices in Merritt Island. This is going to be our new goto place though! I had a simple eggs/toast/home fries/sausage breakfast with a side of bisquits and gravy. My girlfriend had a multi-ingredient omelette-- Neither order exotic or amazing, but let me assure you that it was one of the best quality breakfasts we have ever had. If I had taken a photo, I could have claimed it was from a very expensive establishment and it would have easily passed for that. Much attention to quality here! I asked to speak with the chef as I was pleasingly surprised at the quality of the food presented; no brown edges on the over easy eggs here! The biscuits and gravy were fantastic. They would make a southern man cry. The prices are very low as well. My review here is based solely on breakfast at Umpa's, but I would guess that the quality of lunches and dinners must be on a par there. You should definitely give Umpa's a try...