J P's Bagel Place — Restaurant in Hollywood

It pains me to not give JP's 5 stars but maybe this review will help them improve. I have been eating here for many, many years. At one point I was eating here every morning. We got married in April and immediately went from the courthouse to JPs, that's how much we love it.

My wife and I ordered a bacon egg and cheese bagel and a ham egg and cheese bagel. Half way through her bagel she gasps - she found a CLUMP of hair in her food. No joke. Didn't take a picture because we almost threw up. It was about the size of a quarter and had clear hairs coming off of it. We are PRAYING it was just some sort of grill brush malfunction but man.... we were both sick from the thought all day yesterday.

I won't be eating here again for a while, maybe until we forget about it in 1-2 years and will hope by then they have more quality control.

Side note: POTATO PANCAKES. One of my favorite foods to eat. JPs is bland, watery, not crisp and plain tasting. I still ordered it after knowing that, out of habit, but am always disappointed. This morning I attempted to follow a basic recipe online and to my surprise... my first attempt... I made potato pancakes that were incredible. Maybe I can help improve. Onions and potatoes. Cheesecloth. Squeeze the liquids out. Pour out the water leave the potato starch and mix back in. Add an egg. Add salt and pepper. A lot of it. Add matzo ball mix to dry it a little and fry it. Boom. Simple, delicious, and you would make a lot of people happier. No one I know has ever tried the potato pancakes at JPs and said wow, that was good. Always, everyone...

This has to be one of those places where it's been around for so long that people are numb to the taste and display of the food. I don't know what possessed me to order a steak from a bagel place but, let me save you some time DON'T DO IT. I ordered the only steak on the menu, eggs Over Medium, home fries, and onion bagel, and French Toast. My steak was supposed to be medium well and it came well done, so well done that the amount of force it was taking me to cut it was ridiculous. Eggs were as ordered, bagel was okay. French toast was trash. It was a limp soggy sliced mess. I'm 60% sure the syrup is some fake corn syrup business. What got them 2 stars was the orange juice, it tastes fresh squeezed and their home fries. The staff spent a while standing around talking, which I'm assuming is how my steak got over cooked. They were really fast about replacing my steak but when I got it it was medium. I don't want to blame the chef I'm sure it's just the low quality of the meat. All in all, I will NOT be going back. The atmosphere is loud, filled with old people chatter, the waitress shorts are to short for a breakfast place, better suited for a sports bar, and I can definitely make better food at home. Another thing I don't like is the waitresses have to pool their tips, as in you cant leave a tip for one person, that's...

I’ll be honest. I usually start my review frame of kind with a 4 star in mind and then see where it takes me. If I’m just blown away I go for an extra star and if I’m disappointed, well you get it.

I use this system because most people on this platform I feel are poor graders… quick to give 5 stars.

So if a place has over 500 reviews and anything less than 4.0 — I don’t even waste my time trying it. It sucks but life’s short and that many people are usually wrong.

So I’m giving JP a 4 because 1. It’s exactly what I expected from a no-frills local diner, 2. Cheap(ish), fast and satisfying breakfast fare, and 3. I would go back. Best part IMO were the home fries which I asked for “well done crispy and actually arrived that way. Coffee was as also expected.

So I’m not giving JP a 5 because 1. It’s hard to find parking, 2. It’s too small and usually packed, and 3. the bagel is not actually that good. Missing the chewy texture but I suppose it’s because everyone gets that when they toast it. I asked if they were fresh hoping to taste them the way they’re intended, but nah.

Again, I’d usually give this place a more nuanced score if I could, say for value for the price which is think is fair to good.

If you’re craving fast diner food, check...