Billy Goat Tavern (Ohare Airport- Concourse C) — Restaurant in Jefferson Township

As I shuffled through the bustling airport terminal, stomach growling and patience waning, I spotted the familiar Billy Goat Tavern sign. A beacon of hope in the sea of hurried travelers, promising a quick bite to satiate my hunger. Little did I know that my layover would take a nosedive into mediocrity.

The first sign of trouble was the hamburger. Now, I’m no gourmet connoisseur, but I do appreciate a decent patty. The Billy Goat’s offering, however, was an insult to the noble art of burger-making. These things were thinner than a whisper. I half-expected them to vanish into thin air as I lifted them from the tray. If you’re looking for a substantial meal, you’d be better off licking postage stamps.

And then there were the commisses—the gatekeepers of this culinary purgatory. Their demeanor could best be described as “grumpy librarian meets traffic cop.” As I approached the counter, I mustered a polite smile, only to be met with a disdainful glare. It was as if I’d interrupted their secret society meeting on “How to Crush Souls and Serve Subpar Burgers.”

“May I have some ketchup, please?” I ventured, my voice trembling like a leaf in a storm. The response? A curt nod and a begrudging thrust of a ketchup packet across the counter. No words, no eye contact—just a silent judgment that cut deeper than the serrated edge of their plastic knives.

As I settled into a sticky vinyl booth, I pondered life’s mysteries. Why did the Billy Goat Tavern airport kiosk exist? Was it a cosmic joke, a punishment for past sins? Perhaps the universe conspired to teach me humility—to remind me that even in the most mundane settings, disappointment lurks like a shadow.

My fellow travelers seemed equally unimpressed. A weary businessman stared into his coffee cup, contemplating the futility of existence. A family with tired kids huddled around their fries, their dreams of a hearty meal dashed by reality. We were all in this together, united by our shared mediocrity.

In conclusion, dear reader, if you find yourself stranded at an airport with a hankering for a burger, steer clear of the Billy Goat Tavern kiosk. Save your taste buds, your sanity, and your dignity. Seek refuge elsewhere—perhaps in the comforting embrace of a vending machine sandwich or a lukewarm pretzel. Anything but those sad, wafer-thin burgers.

And to the Billy Goat Tavern kiosk commisses: May your spatulas forever stick to the grill, and may your customer service skills remain as elusive as...

Was pretty interested to try a chicago-style italian beef sandwich, and since I wasn't actually going into the city this time, i decided to just get one from the airport

starting with the beef, what I liked was this sandwich had a ton of it - there were a ton of layers of thinly sliced roast beef spread throughout the roll - so that slices would be falling out as you were trying to eat it. However, I wasn't a huge fan of the taste - the beef didn't really have much flavor - and due to how thin it was sliced - it felt a bit like eating wet, rubbery paper. maybe some seasonings might have helped

I did think that the bun was really good - most importantly, it was incredibly soft. obviously, this is in large part due to dunking it in liquid before serving - and yet this didn't really get it that soggy that it was inedible - on the contrary, you just bit straight through the bun like it was nothing and let the flavors of the liquid out, which was pretty nice. I don't think I've ever had a sandwich bun this soft in my life

I asked for spicy peppers with this sandwich, and this turned out to be my favorite part. First of all, these were quite plentiful throughout the sandwich, and second, they were actually spicy, which I did not expect. As someone who really likes spice, this truly gives the sandwich that extra flavor that's missing from the rest of it. I really enjoyed these peppers

The price of this was a bit expensive given the sandwich wasn't really that large

Overall, the meat was lacking, but the rest of the sandwich makes up for it...

The food was edible and I didn't get sick or anything. That is pretty much all the positive that I have to say.

I got stuck working on my birthday and decided to eat at this establishment on my way through the ORD airport. Most restaurants were either closed or about to close, so I didn't have much choice but to eat here.

I ordered the double hamburger. The picture of double cheeseburger version had lettuce, tomatoes, onion, pickles, and I assumed some sort of condiments but I couldn't see them in the picture. I figured the no cheese version would be like that but with no cheese. Wrong.

I got my bag containing my burger and left. When I finally opened it up, it was just a bun with 2 sad bland patties (about the size of a regular McDonald's burger patty). So, my birthday dinner was a $7 dry bread and floppy meat sandwich.

I will probably just try and go to McDonald's on the other side of the terminal in the future. At least they put some ketchup and pickles on the burgers.

If you decide to go here, I would make sure and ask for some sort of condiments or toppings so that you don't end up with what I got. You have to volunteer it. They don't put anything on it if you don't apparently. And...