Simon's Tavern — Restaurant in Lake View Township

I wish I could find some redeeming qualities for this place, but they simply don’t exist. There is no reason for a 4.6 rating, so the positive reviews are likely paid or fake. The proof is that the reviews are all either one star, like mine, or five stars.

The place is dirty, with sticky tabletops and floors that seem to have been cleaned with dirty mop water or cloths. They claim the place has history, and I believe it because you can smell it—like a moldy basement. The fruit flies were plentiful and friendly; they came toward my friend's drink, which she couldn’t drink fast enough before one finally landed in it so we left.

Seriously, avoid the bathrooms unless you have a strong stomach. The night I was there, the men’s restroom smelled like an outhouse. They could clean it for a week and only upgrade it to a porta-potty smell.

The staff is indifferent, and the owner seems to be a complete jerk, hanging with his friends and ignoring anyone he didn’t know. It’s like Cheers but with a&&holes, and it’s not Ed Debevic’s, where the rude staff is the draw. The cash-only policy is super annoying, and they probably make bank on the ATM (at the expense of their customers). I won’t return. The drinks were also weak, so, as I said, zero redeeming qualities. Skip it unless the...

Been coming here for years staff is great. On my wedding day we were found out the day before that it was supposed to rain. I called the bar the night before and asked if the bar would be open on time (this was during COVID when opening time were always up in the air). I asked if the would be open on time and was told they weren't sure because they needed to sign up for the marathon that was the same week.

I explained my situation and the opener told me she would be there in case it rained and we couldn't go to our planned photo places. Thankfully, it didn't rain for our photos, but I will be forever grateful to the bar staff to make sure I'd have a fun, Mazing place to make my pre wedding photos work! Come here drink a glugg and enjoy an amazing atmosphere with an amazing bar staff!

Also, the jukebox is great and so is glugg. If you have never had glugg it is a mulled Nordic wine. In the winter it is served hot and in the summer it is served as a slushy. They make an original (red mulled wine) and a peach beaches one. Try both. Both...

Well hello. How is your day progressing, may I ask? Sorry, on with the show. So Simon’s , if you are unaware, is another OG bar here in the windy apple. I believe it’s been around for longer than you, I mean, depending. I could look that up, I suppose. Hold on. Ok, so it opened in the 1930s, therefore my assumption was correct. It has murals which may need a little TLC. They have live music. Which is, you know, surprising since it’s not the largest space. The crowd leans older. Ok. I may in fact, bring the average age up a scosh. Who knows? Anyway, if you’re reading this, owners of this fine establishment, please buy some fresh IPAs once a week or so. It can be in can form. I ain’t fancy. I really ain’t. Ok, ok, so it’s time to sum up. I suppose. Kind of a wondrous crowd of scalawags and knaves, from various societal groups. Great bands and...