The Abbey Pub and Grub — Restaurant in Menomonie

⭐⭐⭐⭐ – A PLACE WHERE NACHOS BREAK THE LAWS OF NATURE AND THE JUKEBOX SPARKS BLOOD FEUDS

Let me tell you about The Abbey Pub & Grub. A holy place where Guinness flows like sacred nectar, nachos ride in on a warhorse of horseradish and Dijon, and the pool table has more unspoken rules than the Vatican.

I came in like a man possessed. Moving furniture had spiritually broken me, and I needed salvation in liquid form. First thing I see? GUINNESS. ON. TAP. The bartender saw the desperation in my eyes and opened a tab without even asking. That’s not service… that’s telepathy.

I posted up, hit the TouchTunes, and started blessing the room with absolute bangers. The bartender? Turns to me and says, “You want this louder?” I said “Can you?” He said “Absolutely.” In that moment, I knew he was sent by the gods. The music turned up, the room began to breathe with chaotic harmony, and I ordered a Captain Coke like a man on a mission.

Then he asked the question that changed everything: “You hungry?”

Sir, I am alive, of course I’m hungry. He said they had nachos. I braced myself. He said, “Not your average nachos.” That was an understatement. These nachos were a flavor demolition derby. Pulled pork. Kettle chips. Jalapeños. Pepperoncinis. Red onion. Horseradish sour cream swirl that came straight from Zeus’s spice rack. Maybe Dijon mustard? I don’t know. I blacked out halfway through from joy. I devoured them like they insulted my family name. Bartender looked at me like I was a folklore creature.

Then I played pool. Alone. In silence. The table is free, but it comes with a spiritual code of honor written in Sharpie. “No drinks.” “No sitting.” “Respect the table.” Cool. I did. But the pool cues looked like someone used them to fend off raccoons. Still played. Still vibed.

Flash forward: Night two. I brought the wife. She tried the stuffed pretzel. I tried the shrimp cocktail. We both ascended temporarily. She said “surprise me” to the bartender and the bartender understood the assignment. That woman made potions. I made eye contact and nodded like “Yup. You get it.”

TouchTunes war broke out. Some heretic VIP’d over my tracks. I said nah. I dropped coins like a vengeful bard and queue-jumped them back. Don’t play me. I pay to play.

Still no pull tabs. Machine still dead. Just taunting me with glowing despair. Also, side note, someone please do a wellness check on the men’s bathroom wall. The graffiti is what happens when bad poetry meets too much Fireball and no hugs from Dad.

Wife went to the women’s bathroom and came back with a look of architectural betrayal. Apparently the stall layout was made by a dude who’s never worn pants with pockets. Not fat-friendly. Not friendly-friendly.

Honorables: ✅ Free pool ✅ Free popcorn ✅ Sweet bartenders with chaos energy ✅ That cozy little back patio, good for plotting, crying, or both

Dishonorables: ❌ Pull tab machine = RIP ❌ Pool cues need therapy ❌ Bathroom wall = Dante’s Inferno: Wisconsin Edition ❌ Women’s stall design = disrespectful to hips everywhere

FINAL THOUGHTS: Four stars. Not five. Why? Because perfection is boring. The Abbey is alive. It’s weird. It’s spicy. It’s got flavor in both the menu and the crowd. It’s a bar that wants to fight you in Mario Kart, talk smack about your music taste, and then pour you another Guinness while you cry-laugh over popcorn.

Would I come back? Already did. Would I recommend it? Only to people who can handle joy, weirdness, and jalapeño-fueled revelations. Would I bring my kids? Absolutely not. This place has flavor,...

This is an awesome place. Most of the bartenders are really friendly and make fantastic drinks. If they do not know how to make a drink they will try to figure it out for you. They usually have popcorn for free (thank you!) and nice, chill atmosphere. This is a good place to go if you either want to relax or if you want to get pumped up - just pick your time wisely! The deals are pretty good too and you can play pool for free. The bathrooms are generally pretty clean and the outdoor area is spacious enough for plenty of people to relax,...

My friend and I visited here on Oct 12, 2024. First time ever going to the bars in town and a friend suggested this place was the best. We had a bartender named Sarah if I recall with the short hair and made us the best drinks/shots. Sarah did an excellent job making the portions right and telling me what type of liquor is are my drinks. It was not expected but definitely appreciated. Best customer service I had ever received. I will suggest this place to my friends next time we are...