Puerto Vallarta,Port Orchard, WA — Restaurant in Port Orchard

I would like to preface this review and say that I am not a Chef, I am not a food critic either. I am just somebody who enjoys good food. I recognize that this restaurant is part of a chain and that I need to temper my expectations.

The food my wife and I were served was so awful that I felt I needed to make a genuine review of it and post it somewhere for people to see. It is a crime that somebody can do that to ingredients, charge as much money as they do, and get away with it.

I am not sure what happened, was it apathy? Was it poor ingredients? Who knows, all I know is that the food was awful. My wife got a traditional smothered burrito and I got the mole enchiladas.

For starters, the bean dip that came with the chips was awful. It has been years since I have tasted "gloop" as terrible as that. It was flavorless and texturless. I feel like I just ate nutrient paste; honestly made me sick. The redeeming quality of that conglomerate was the salsa. At least that tasted a bit fresher than the beans.

On to the entrées...

Smothered burrito: there is nothing that I can say about this threat will make it okay. It was trash. Barely seasoned ground beef coupled with gloops of cheese swimming in grease. The laziest dish I have ever seen. No Pico, no sour cream. I am not sure if you have to ask for that but it honestly needs to come standard. The whole burrito tasted so generic, something remotely fresh would have been a great help. The rice and beans we also trash. Beans were the same story as before, a wonderfully dull urgent paste, and the rice was viciously over salted. Like it wasn't done on accident, somebody thought that heinous amount of salt was okay. Were they trying to make up for the rest of the flavorless food they had made? I dunno, you would have to ask them.

Mole Enchiladas: mole sauce is supposed to be something fantastic; delicious, fragrant, and layered with complex flavors. If you don't know about mole sauce, look it up. It really can be an incredible sauce for many Mexican dishes. What I ended up with on my plate was none of those things I just described. It tasted like it came out of a bag. It was oddly sweet, and that was it. That was the only flavor I got from that. Just depressing. As for the filling, the picadillo, it was 100% overcooked. The meat was sinfully tough and I feel bad for whichever animal they used to make that travesty. The rice and beans were the same story as before; gloopy nutrient paste and over salted rice that sat out to long.

Now drinks...

My wife got a strawberry margarita and I swear they must have thought she was underage because the lack of tequila in that drink was and affront to whatever Greek God is in charge of alcohol. Thanks for the $14 smoothie guys, super cool.

The pink cadillac margarita was good. I enjoyed it. They probably figured I would need to be drunk to make it through the food. They were right.

And last but not least, service....

I'm not going to sit here and drag somebody through the mud, especially a waiter/waitress. But the service was oddly fast. The food came out impossibly fast (definitely a warning sign), and our check came oddly quick. You would think that's a good thing, but when it all happens so fast, the wife and I felt that we were almost cycled through as fast as possible; fast food restaurant-style. Honestly, even taco bell doesn't get you out of the restaurant that fast...

In conclusion, don't bother going here. I paid $66 for my bill (including a $7 tip making the food and drink bill $59). There are many other restaurants in port orchard more deserving of your business that will care about the food they make. A good example is Carbon Mexican Steakhouse. Their food is fantastic as well as the drinks. If any restaurant deserves your money more, especially during a time when smaller businesses need the help, its Carbon. If you have read this far, thank you, and if you are reading this and you work at Puerto Vallarta and are in charge of decisions there, I hope you figure out a way to fix it because that visit was a...

So here we are back at Puerto Vallarta for the first time since my last review in 2017. During that time the pandemic closed everything down, a fire closed the restaurant for even longer period of time, and there were some other issues. The place is getting very good reviews again and their latest health inspection score was 100. Time to give the old but refurbished place a try.

There was no one at the front desk when we walked up but the wait for the host to show up was about 30 seconds. It's possible he had just shown another party to their table. We were seated at a booth which is my preference anyway. From what i could see from the other rooms the giant birds were gone and some new stuff had taken their place. The interior looks very good and a has a fresh feel to it.

Eduardo C. was our server and he had a nice, easy but professional manner. I followed his advice and ordered my Sunset Margarita on the rocks. More about that later.

Chips, salsa and warm bean & cheese dip along with water arrived quickly thanks to the young busgirl or whatever that job title is. Our food arrived very quickly--not even a ten minute wait. That's a huge improvement over the old PV. Only 2-3 other tables were filled during that time but apparently the kitchen has their food prep/cook/quick serving system down.

My son and I both had the Carne Asada plate. The skirt steak was indeed cooked to our medium rare specification, and there were generous portions of refried beans and rice, quacamole and pico de gallo on the plate, plus the standard grilled jalapeño pepper and green onion. It was a good portion of steak but for me the seasoning, although tasty was slightly lacking. That didn't stop me from cleaning my plate. Judging from our son's just-as-clean plate, he enjoyed his meal as much as I did.

I opted for the 18 oz. Sunset Margarita and it was very good. Because I ordered it over ice, the drink was warmish when it got to our table. But the ice did its job to cool it very quickly and it was a nice-tasting drink with just enough potent alcohol.

My wife had the Chicken Chimichanga plate and said it was very good. I forgot to ask for a bite because I had my own massive plate and goblet of Margarita to wend my way through.

Eduardo C. was a great and gracious server. He made us feel welcome, ensured our order was served properly and water glasses refilled. He checked back with us and was never once instrusive. We'd be happy to be seated at his station again.

So, yeah, I recommend Puerto Vallarta again. I truly think the owners should consider bringing back a huge ceramic bird on a swing, but make it a phoenix. They've successfully risen from the ashes of their former selves and have once again become one of the best Mexican...

Jan 2024 update: Stopped by on a Friday around 1pm. Seated immediately in a comfortable booth and within a minute of sitting down, salsa and chips were delivered and our server took our order for drinks. Ordered Super Nachos with shredded chicken and no beans. Highly recommend trying the super nachos without beans because it is not as heavy and the tortilla chips stay much more crisp. Service was excellent and our super nachos were delivered to our table within 5 mins of placing our order. Super Nachos were quite tasty and served hot with melted cheese. Only complaint is that the salsa is always a bit too watery - needs more substance with pieces of tomatoes, onion and cilantro. Salsa has a good taste, but would be much better if there were more tomatoes and onion chopped up in the salsa.

Street tacos were served hot and were very tasty. Shrimp and mushroom Quesadilla was tasty and served hot; however, after I returned home, my digestive system reacted to either the shrimp or mushrooms which must not have been fresh. The side of guacamole was very tasty. Service was very good.

Tortilla chips were good but would have been much better if served warmed up. Salsa was too watery.

Update one week later. I ordered the super nachos with chorizo and no beans and they were delicious, served hot and crispy. Service was not great because server took too long to take our order. I will order the no beans super nachos with chorizo next time I visit - highly recommend!

2nd update four weeks later. I again ordered the super nachos with chorizo and no beans and they were as delicious as before , served hot and crispy and Salsa this time was perfect. Service was excellent!I will order the no beans super nachos with chorizo next time I visit -...