Elmer's Restaurant (Parkrose, Portland, OR) — Restaurant in Portland

Chain restaurants are not generally my cup of tea, I prefer more homespun fare, places that are more, say of the people. But once upon a time I visited the Elmer’s in Vancouver and found their burger to be fairly decent and their fries to be perfect or at least close to perfect.

So I thought that I would compare the two, I mean, they do have some extra extraordinary breakfast options. Not the least of which is the Dutch baby, which I would travel for. However it was lunchtime and if I am going to partake in lunch my due diligence is to try the hamburger.

Well to start with, the restaurant was nearly entirely empty when I went in which I will honestly say was just a little on the scary side. Perhaps I arrived at a moment between the waves like standing in the ocean just as the water stills and before the next rush of water.

The service was great and I appreciate the two lemon wedges in my iced tea which is an unusual touch. But good service and sincerity will only take one so far. they are the ring within which the jewel is meant to appear. The jewel of course being the food. Nothing else can save an experience if the central core is lacking

The hamburger seemed to be void of any seasoning at all and they obviously come frozen. It was chewy and gray and I will say, a great disappointment. Yes, I know that life is full of disappointment but it’s a little painful when you have to pay for them. I have heard Elmer does this because so many of it customers are old, like myself. They hold back the salt so that patrons are not dropping in the aisles. However, this old man wants his burger to be on the savory side.

The french fries had a strange texture and were kind of chewy which did not elevate the experience. In fact, they were some of the worst fries that I have ever had. I don’t remember the other Elmer‘s having fries that were this bad. It actually surprised me and I had to examine a fry carefully trying to understand what might’ve happened.

But alas, it remains a mystery and I’m afraid not one that I would attempt to solve again. As people began to drift in I wondered if Elmer‘s niche is mostly a senior population hankering after the chains of the old days. A kind of comfort in sameness, a return to Leave it to Beaver or Lawrence Welk, both of which bored me to tears even as a child.

Let me say again, that the service was excellent, the manager kind, but it needs some new blood, it needs to bring love into the food. That burger did not seem to me to be wearing the cloak of pride, as if the cook was just going through the motions.

They probably do breakfast...

Called to place a to-go order and Mandy answered the phone. Asked could I place a to-go order she said "we don't do to-go orders" fully understandable. Thought to myself maybe because it's in a bad area and they don't want to make it without payment and then they don't get their money, so I suggested I come in to order and pay at get it to-go. I had 20 mins before closing. Her answer SHOULD have been something along the lines of "sir, we just don't do to-go orders at all" NOPE, she said "we close in 20 mins", and I said "yeah true." Then this is where unnecessary sarcasm comes in from her, she says "what time do you have on your clock?" What time do I have on my clock?? What time go I have on my clock?? Is that comment really needed. Let's see I'm calling you on my cell phone and last I checked all cell phones have accurate clocks on them displayed right at the top in the left hand corner, so I know what time it is! All you had to say was coming in to place a to-go order wouldn't work out also because we don't do to-go orders.... Nope, Mandy did not have the decency to do that.... This is sad. They wonder why people don't go to this location nor do the employees care, I haven't been to this location in 10 years+ and I just figured out why. Better training needs to be provided at this location, just because the neighborhood is going down the drain doesn't mean your employees attitudes and how they conduct themselves, nor should Elmer's name and brand go down...

Food wasn’t that good, they don’t offer toast AT ALL, just biscuits… men’s bathroom was so stinky like number 2 and it lingered past the bathroom door’s entrance, it still was smelly as you passed by to go outside… service was not to attentive, and it seemed as if they menu shrunk ….a lot ….. 2 omelet breakfasts (inlet wasn’t very impressive and small so to speak, with REALLY browned hashbrowns, (small portions), and a biscuit plus a small vodka and orange juice (screwdriver) -$40 bucks Tip not included yet, with that brings me to another “HUMMM UHH UHH” MOMENT they brought us the bill, then left, we proceeded to put our card on the little tray for them. A few moments later they came back to -what I thought to take the bill to process it, instead they processed it right there at the table, (with a little tablet thing) (she also took our order with this tablet) as she was processing this transaction she turn the tablet around for someone to mark the top amount options… to me this is in your face blatantly. And DO NOT like this no option way of taking care of your bill.. won’t ever go to this Elmers again on Sandy, in fact I’m pretty sure Elmer’s have ran its...