Nicko's Pizza and Subs — Restaurant in Saint Petersburg

Why do I do this to myself? I walk into Nicko’s Pizza & Subs, fully aware that my sense of self is fragile, and immediately bite into this month’s special, a Dr. Pepper wing.

Yes. A wing.

Sticky, shiny, fizzy, and glinting under the fluorescent lights like a tiny, caramelized sun preparing to interrogate my very soul.

I bite. Flavor detonates.

Sweet, smoky, sticky. A carnival of tang, and joy exploding on my tongue that screams, “Welcome to delicious chaos.” Am I eating wings, or are the wings eating me? Does it matter? No. I am lost in glaze, and it feels spectacular.

And the beer. Oh, the beer. Cold, golden, laughing at me from its glass prison. One sip and my neurons fizz in perfect, harmony with the wings. Did I make a mistake? No. Did I care? Absolutely not. My friends Jesse and Ben glance at me knowingly; either judging, or perhaps recognizing that I have become a Dr. Pepper wing-powered demigod of flavor. I sip again. The beer is reckless. Brutal. Joyfully necessary. My soul is sticky. My tongue has become a wing altar.

Next: the Rodeo Burger pizza.

It's like a Big Mac, on a pizza, that was then topped with another even more delicious Bacon Cheeseburger. Ground beef sizzling like miniature volcanic eruptions. Bacon shards crisped to smoky perfection. Cheese stretching into impossible, gravity-defying pulls.

Flavor implodes. Salt, fat, tang, crunch, umami. An orchestra conducted by chaos itself. I steal bites from my companions because no man should face this level of perfection alone. Each chew strips away a layer of certainty. Each swallow asks: Who am I if I am not this pizza? Am I cheese? Bacon? Pickle? Perhaps all four simultaneously? My identity evaporates deliciously, leaving only the pure, unadulterated joy of molten cheese, beef, and rebellion.

Then the Chicago Beef sandwich arrives. Juicy, au jus-soaked beef dripping like liquid velvet. Giardiniera stabbing at my taste buds like tiny, furious flavor ninjas. The bread, soft yet resilient, soaks up the juices in a loving, essential embrace. I used to date a girl from Chicago. Was this preparation? Possibly. Each bite is a messy, glorious, existential revelation. I stare at the plate.

The plate stares back. I feel judged. I feel adored. I feel my soul rising in the steam.

And the beer. Did I mention the beer? The Super Märzen Bro’s they have on tap from Florida Avenue Brewery? I sip. It is reckless. It is essential. It accelerates the glorious chaos coursing through my body. I am sticky. I am euphoric. The wings, the pizza, the beef? All of it has fused into me. Am I still human, or have I been reborn as a vessel of pure joy? I no longer know.

Nicko’s menu rotates monthly like a deliciously cruel oracle. September brought Mac & Cheese pizza. Alas, a creamy and dreamy, a phantom I only know by reputation. October brings the Rodeo Burger pizza. Honey Mustard wings loom like a destiny I am not ready for. Southwest Chicken pizza. Cuban pizza. Each month a new temptation, each one a mind-bending, tastebud-shattering revelation that challenges everything I thought I knew about pizza, wings, pickles, and life itself.

The menu rotates. I do not eat them all, yet I feel them in my soul when I miss out on the monthly special. It haunts me. It beckons. It whispers: “You will never be the same if you don’t make it in once a month.”

By the time I leave, I am full, sticky, and gloriously destroyed by flavor. My name? Irrelevant. My identity? Melted into molten cheese, au jus, sticky glaze, bacon, beef, and pickles.

I am glorious chaos. I am flavor incarnate. I am the man who has truly surrendered to the absurd majesty of Nicko’s Pizza & Subs.

Do I anything? No. Nicko's erased regret for me. I have eaten the impossible, drunk the risky, and become one with Dr. Pepper wings, Rodeo Cheeseburger pizza, and Chicago Beef sandwiches.

I am sticky. I am euphoric. I am complete.

15 out of 10. Would eat here again. WILL eat here again. Once a month. Maybe twice. I am helpless against Nicko's limited-time menu items that are so...

Sauce is good, cheese is good, however; crust could be more crispy like in New York. I'm not sure they have the right type of oven to produce a crispy crust. Also, crust doesn't have that charcoal taste as in New York.

Located in kind of a secluded area. Doesn't quit feel safe late at night. Interior decor is modest, subdued and casual. Restaurant is more conducive to take out rather than dine in.

Follow-up visit:

Shopping strip is still vacant. Does not feel safe at night because there is nothing around it.

Ordered a large pizza, "Well Done." Order taker / bartender said it would be 20 minutes. Went there in 10 minutes and waited an additional 10 minutes for my pizza. When she finally brought it out to me ... it was luke warm! The pizza was ready a long time ago, but the bartender was not paying attention. The first time I went, someone checked on me, this time, no one. No one was paying attention to quality (ie. not letting the pizza get cold), or the customers. Also, pizza was less impressive (in terms of taste) this time around.

Downgraded from 4 stars to 3, and that's...

We saw that Nicko's was on the list of top pizza places in St. Pete and tried several items to test that theory. Fail. No. The pizza was bad with a hard cornmeal crust on the bottom. The dough felt overworked as it was tough and the sauce was a bit sweet. The ham sandwich was fine. The steak subs were sub-par, with a flavor that was too cow-y -as in just licking a live cow, not beefy like meat should taste. The meatballs were meh with questionable bits inside. The one sandwich that was actually very good was their Italian beef sandwich. Unfortunately I can't say I would travel there for just that one sandwich. How was this ranked so high on the list of best pizzas in St. Pete, when my whole family thought it was one of the worst. No thanks.

PS- Regarding owners reply ... way to snark because someone gave an honest review. And you misread... I said we tried several items not several times... have the server without dyslexia read reviews next time. One visit was more than enough. Also I did not arrive waaaay beyond the time the order was ready. And even if I ate right there as soon as it was done... it still would have been gross. (minus an extra star for...