Kerbey Lane Cafe — Restaurant in San Antonio

If you want to go to a horrible place and spend a lot of money, Kerbey Café is the place for you! On June 21, 2025 at 1:10pm serviced by Isabella M., it was a bad time. From the moment we walked in, it was a disaster. Nobody greeted us—my wife tried to get a waitress’s attention, only to be rudely pointed back to an empty host station with no hostess in sight. We stood there like idiots until someone finally bothered to seat us. Once we were seated, the neglect continued. We waited 15 minutes before anyone even acknowledged us. No one asked if we wanted appetizers, and getting a refill on our drinks felt like begging for a miracle. My wife ordered a vanilla latte and let me tell you about that! The vanilla latte at Kerbey Café is an absolute travesty, a sad excuse for coffee that deserves to be poured down the drain. Don’t be fooled by the pretty latte cup or the half-hearted foam art—they’re just lipstick on a pig. This pathetic brew tasted like someone waved a single vanilla bean over a pot of stale Folgers and called it a day. No depth, no flavor, just a weak, watery insult to coffee lovers everywhere. I was tempted to raid the sugar packets just to give it some personality, but honestly, nothing could save this lifeless sludge. Save your money and brew your own—it’ll be better than this overpriced disappointment. When we ordered our food, it took a jaw-dropping 30 minutes to arrive. And when it finally showed up? It was an insult to cooking. A child could’ve done better. I ordered the chicken fried chicken, and it was tough as leather, overcooked to the point of being inedible. The biscuit that came with it was so hard you could’ve used it as a hockey puck. The mashed potatoes were dry, flavorless, and clearly left under a heat lamp for far too long. My wife’s eggs Benedict with salmon was just as bad—the salmon was like chewing on a shoe, the eggs were overcooked, and the English Muffins were cold and tasteless. When my wife finally complained that the salmon was garbage, the staff at Kerbey Café had the audacity to offer her a different protein as if that would fix their culinary disaster. She chose ham, but these incompetent fools didn’t even have the decency to remake her cold, hard, pathetic excuse for eggs. They just plopped some sad, rubbery ham next to the same revolting, stone-cold eggs and that abysmal English muffin, which was so stale it could’ve doubled as a doorstop. It was a slap in the face, a masterclass in laziness, and proof they couldn’t care less about their customers. Everything was bland, overdone, and served with zero care. When we complained about the entire fiasco of a meal, the staff had the gall to claim they’d “make it right” on the check. Oh, how generous they were! Brace yourself for their grand gesture: a whopping $2.55 discount on a bill over $40 and food that wasn’t fit for a dog. Really? That’s their idea of making things right? It’s almost cute how they think a couple of quarters would make up for their culinary crimes. What a laughable, stingy insult to anyone with taste buds. The service was nonexistent, the food was a crime, and the experience was a complete waste of time and money. Save yourself the misery and steer clear of Kirby Café. There are better places to eat, like literally...

So far, not impressed with the service. I come in and tell them it's for 1. They asked if I minded sitting at the bar because they are full. Hm. Ok. So I walk to the bar. There's at least 6 empty booths and about 6 empty tables. Most of the tables need to be bused.

I'm at the bar putting my stuff down, haven't even sat and the girl behind the counter says she'll take my order. I tell her I'm not ready and she gets an annoyed face. And then never comes back.

The waiter who took my order and served me did a really good job. But observing some of these others....hm. I think a new shift manager came on and she seemed to be having folks pick up the pace. I even saw her busing tables. And the thing is - it's not really busy. Just moderately. Not sure what it'll be like when it's actually busy. When I left, there were 3 staff at the hostess station sitting and talking with each other and on their phones. As I left, I observed at least 7 or 8 tables that could have been bused. I'm sympathic that there's a labor shortage but to have 3 people just sitting around when it's not busy (no one was waiting to be seated) perhaps the hostesses could have helped out. Especially when they ask people to sit outside because the inside was full (not full but quite a few dirty tables).

However, having to sit at the bar gave me the advantage of observing the kitchen staff. All of them were not wearing gloves and touching the food with their bare hands. I also observed someone stick their hand into the chips dispenser and eat it standing there.

I thought the chicken fried steak and the potatoes were great. The steamed spinach was ech... and I like spinach. And I'm not sure what they did to that biscuit. It tasted like it was made this morning and reheated so disappointed with that.

I'll might give them another try. Maybe it's an off night and most of the...

First Time there as a Brunch Treat with my Millennial aged Kiddos as a Treat for their ole Mom .. lol

Definitely will be my first and last Time there as we got only 1 Order out of three Orders served 100% correct and the two other were served incorrectly

One of us three order the Buffalo Chicken Pancakes but requested no Buffalo Sauce substitute with Syrup .. First Plate served came wrong .. Buffalo Sauce all over thevPancakes and Chicken .. that Plate got send back .. Thank Goodness the Replacement Plate arrived in a pretty decent Time

Now to my Order lol 🤦🏻‍♀️ .. I felt adventurous and that Lemon Poppy Seed Toast sounded real good… first Plate was just basic plain French Toast Plate.. not a Hint of Lemon Flavors anywhere to be found and I didn’t even expected Meyers Lemon Flavor at all but expected to see Poppy Seeds all up in that Lemon Toast but they were of course nonexistent in a basic original French Toast 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

First Plate was send back and as Time kept passing by for all correct Preparation requesting the correct Orders

My Lemon Poppy Seed Toast Plate arrived in a to go Box about over an Hour later .. By then I lost any Interest in eating at that Place anymore

Least to say the only good Thing … my Side Dish..a little fresh Fruit Bowl was not messed up and edible but I left that Place hungry , very frustrated and very very disappointed

Their Location next to that Carvana Glass Building is a hot Mess but they can’t help that with that beautiful San Antonio I 10 Road Construction , all that Traffic piles up right in Front of that Place .. working on getting Orders correct .. now that would be great

I was so unimpressed with Service , Inability to get 3 Orders correct and Road Conditions to enter this Place .. didn’t even care to take Pictures to post as I...