Bahama Buck's - Tucson — Restaurant in Tucson

So Summer is back with a vengeance and even my sweat is sweating. We got very lucky that monsoon was waiting to unleash and it got all of us wet and got us all driving like Helen Keller again. But it still wasn’t enough of a respite for me. I even went and ordered heavy duty Old Spice deodorant because I was finding gators and tax-evading Florida retirees in my underarm swamps. It was getting bad. I just had a friend of mine risk his life by going down to Rocky Point where jacuzzis are murdering people just to get a taste of that sweet beach life. But for a lot of us, there’s no escaping the throes of hellfire that is the Tucson desert in the summer. There had to be a glimmer of hope somewhere around here. Something to alleviate this constant overbearing torture.

My immediate instinct was to head to Dairy Queen to get a Reese’s Blizzard because it’s one of the only ways to get the screaming fat kid in me to shut up. Also one of my favorite magic tricks is watching them do the Blizzard flip to showcase the structural integrity of the freeze. To show that, despite everything in your life turning upside down and falling all over you causing you depression, angst and resentment, the Blizzard will never fail you. That is, until now. My close friend just went to the Dee Kizzle recently & the counter lady tried to do the Blizzard flip but since she had to stick her hand outside of the drive-thru window, it was so hot, she began to scream and the Blizzard cream not only fell out of the upside-down cup, it caught on fire and started to speak in latin tongues. My friend is traumatized & now I was left trying to find an alternative frozen sweet treat spot.

That’s when I discovered a place on the Google’s called BAHAMA BUCK’S. They have rave reviews and one of the highlights is that they are celebrating SONIC THE HECKIN HEDGEHOG. As soon as I saw that, I right about curled into a furry blue ball of callous speed and destruction collecting as many latina gold hoop earrings on my way down Broadway Blvd as I possibly could. I mean I appreciate Pride Month and Juneteenth and all that bla bla bla, but nobody ONCE mentioned it was Sonic’s Birthday month?! Get outa here, you psychos!

When I got there, I noticed that Bahama Buck’s had an possessive apostrophe denoting that this place belonged to a man named BUCK. It wasn’t a sovereign entity trying to standardize a new currency called Bahama Bucks. Which is smart, because if that were the case, Uncle Sam would have had a nice, friendly little Freedom visit with these Bahama fellows a while ago. Now I’ve never been to the Bahamas before, but I am a huge fan of the Baha Men even though we still have the unsolved mystery of the perpetrator who commited canine negligence. I’ve also never met a guy named Buck who wasn’t into leather or had some interesting criminal history. Maybe he let the canines loose. Either way, this was going to be a refeshing, new experience.

The place had a very nice, loose beach vibe going on with blasting A/C, island music, turquoise tabletops and laid-back clientele. Maximum shaka brah. The menu featured their signature shaved ice Sno in various, delicious forms alongside fruit smoothies, ice-creamy blends, acaiiiiiii bowls and so much more. But I was here for my heckin Sonic! I called the nice man at the counter Buck even though his nametag said Derek & said I was there for the Hedgehog special. He told me I could choose between the Sonic or Shadow blend. Which threw me off. I didn’t like how they were trying to make Sonic out to be the simp incel and Shadow out to be the Chad because i’m here for OG blueball but still want to drink something that looks way cooler like Shadow’s Tropical Cherry Shadow flavor with Tropic Creme & Oreo® Cookie Pieces vs Sonic’s Tangy Raspberry Sonic flavor with Sour Patch® Sauce. I paused and told Buck it was a tough choice, but I needed bad boy street cred. I ordered the Shadow signature sno. I felt bad, but now Shadow has gotten me laid twice since I betrayed Sonic. Still, Happy Birthday, buddy. And thanks,...

Talk about a disappointment, all these five-star ratings had me so hyped up to try this place. I asked the lady that work there what she recommended and she had the worst attitude and told me she had never tried anything and she doesn't know what's good. We ended up getting two smoothies and a shaved ice and almost spent $30! As soon as my fiance tasted it he looked at me and said he wished we had gone to Sonic for their happy hour and I couldn't agree more. It would have been half the price and way better tasting. The Smoothie was really bland and had little flavor even though I also added ice cream. My daughter's Shave Ice was okay nothing special. Coming from someone who's actually been to the Bahamas, no it is nothing like the Bahamas at all, it does not taste like I'm at the Bahamas, and it does not make me feel like I'm on vacation maybe the price budget but that's about it. I can't believe people on here actually have the nerve to compare this drink to an Eegee because if I'm being honest an Eegee blows anything on this menu out of the water. The people who gave this place five stars and I must be from different planets because I will never come here again. Or they just don't know...

I usually get tigers blood or watermelon. I’ve been here several times and you always have to ask for extra syrup because when I don’t the bottom is entirely white with no syrup. Also I recently finally earned enough points for a free shaved ice of any size, so of course I got the biggest size and this was the worst one they have ever given me. When I tell you they put the less than the bare minimum I mean even the top was white. I got a bowl out and flipped the cup over and put the ice in the bowl so I can look at the bottom and a good 4 inches of the bottom was ALL WHITE no syrup. I had gotten the avalanche size. I didn’t open it until I got home and so I had to go back and ask them to remake it with more syrup. They gave me weird looks but I had no shame asking them to remake it if they had no shame putting so little syrup. The shaved ice is on the expensive size as it is the least they can do is give u an appropriate amount of syrup. I’m not asking them to drown it in syrup either I just want an appropriate amount, I’m trying to be reasonable here.

Other than that I do enjoy the shaved ice and other than that one experience where I had to ask them to remake it the customer...