Mount St. Mary Cemetery — Attraction in New York

I went to my best friend's brother's service this morning to share his last moments with the family, before placing him in the mausoleum. While at the chapel, Deacon Sal was extremely rude to the family and everyone who was there. There seemed to be a misunderstanding with time, and as we were waiting for the last of our family members to arrive, in FRONT OF EVERYONE in the chapel, he gave one of the uncles a dirty look and pointed to his watch, referring that it's time to start. We thought that was rude enough as it was, but he continued to shock us even more with how heartless he continued to be. When my friend (the one who just lost her brother) said, I thought the service starts at 10, so we have an extra 5 minutes right? He stated, again, in front of all the mourning family members in the chapel, "when you went to the front, you said that the family is here, and they're not all here, now you made all of us waste our time. We have four guys in the back twiddling their thumbs, wasting their time, when they could be out there doing something else." The look of shock that came upon everyone when he said this! My friend's mother and father, who is mourning the loss of their son, looked so sad and worried, they said, "look our family is here, they're the last ones" and he rushed through the service. During the service, everyone could not properly grieve the loss of their son, brother, uncle, nephew, and best friend because we were all so angry and upset about how he spoke to all of us for being a few minutes late. When I decided to speak to the supervisor on site, Jo Ann, about Deacon Sal's behavior, he was in the office and continued to yell and get very confrontational, stating, that we were late. After speaking with Jo Ann, we realized that there was a misunderstanding. My friend thought that the service started at 10am, but that is not true. The chapel service starts AS SOON as you notify the office that the family is there, and from that moment on, you have 10 minutes to complete the service. We got there at 9:45am, and the services had to start at 9:55am because we were waiting for our family members to arrive. We apologized for our misunderstanding, however, we said that the way Deacon Sal handled the misunderstanding was absolutely unacceptable. To make a family who is mourning feel like we are just "another body" to service is not okay. The four men that he was talking about (who he claims, was "twiddling their thumbs" when they could be doing something better) were SO nice and sweet to my friend's family. They did not make my friends family feel like they were "wasting their time" helping my friend place his brother in the mausoleum. When we went to the office to complain, Deacon Sal was just sitting down, there were no other families waiting to use the chapel. So, what was the point of all of this? What was the point in ruining and tainting a grieving family's LAST MOMENTS with their son, brother, uncle, nephew, and best friend just because we were late a few minutes? After speaking with Jo Ann, she did apologize for the Deacon's behavior, so I do appreciate that. I told her that there needs to be a better protocol for when misunderstandings like this happen. For example, instead of announcing everything in front of EVERYONE, maybe pulling aside ONE family member and letting them know that the service has to start in 2 minutes OR telling the Deacon that he can contact the front office to let them know that the family is running a little late. I hope this is the LAST family that this happens to, and that this business has protocols set in place, in the event that situations like this happen again. My heart breaks for my family and my friends, as their last moments with their loved one have now been ruined by Deacon Sal. This is NOT a moment that you can ever get back. I believe there should be a level of empathy, care, and compassion for families grieving the loss of a loved one. I would like to state that despite Deacon Sal's callous behavior, the other staff members, were very nice and...

Lillian and the rest of the staff at Mount St Mary Cemetery are very professional and sweet (with the exception of Deacon Sal). Lillian is beyond kind and compassionate. My family suddenly lost my brother and Lillian was very patient, and accommodating with my immigrant parents. She showed us different options and we picked the perfect niche for my brother, together with her help. She was there for us, taking our lead, not pushing or trying to upsell anything. My family and I are so appreciative of her gentle and loving nature especially during this time. When it came to the inurnment we had an appointment in the Chapel at 10 am. We were instructed to check in the office and then have everyone else meet in the chapel. My parents checked in upon arrival. They asked my parents if everyone was here and my parents said yes. Most of my family arrived at 9:45am including my husband and potty training toddler but at this moment they were in the bathroom. The only family we were waiting for was arriving in 5 min (9:50am), but my parents did not realize we were still waiting for them - either way its fine because our appointment is 10 am anyway (or so I thought).

As my mourning family sat in the chapel, waiting for our 10 am appointment crying and still in shock.

Decon Sal was standing irritably in the front of the chapel and gestured to my cousin waiting at the doors to hurry up and close them. I then said we have 10 more min anyway. The deacon responded so aggressively and spoke to me in front of my parents, family and friends - next to my brother urn with "Why did you say you are all here then?" "There are 4 men in the back twiddling their thumbs, waiting for you and you are wasting their time when they could have been doing something else" "The protocol is when you say you are all here it starts". As he speaks my husband, toddler and the family we were waiting on comes in at exactly 9:52am.

There was a misunderstanding, which I recognize and we apologized for. I did not know upon check in (945am) they told them we are all here, when my husband and son was in the bathroom and we were still waiting for one more family car to arrive - but WHY would that matter anyway? When our appointment again is at 10 am? I misunderstood myself, I personally thought when my parents check in to say we are here, it means we have arrived and will meet you in the chapel and be ready to start at 10am. AGAIN WE WERE ALL IN THE CHAPEL AT 9:52am. The deacon told us "we were wasting their time at 9:50 am"

Even if it was 10am or later you pull someone aside and speak to them privately and with empathy. YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE the way the deacon spoke to me. YOU ESP DO NOT SPEAK loudly, aggressively across a chapel in front of mourning parents, family and friends to the SISTER OF THE DECEASED.

The foreman were 2 men not 4 and they were extremely, kind and thoughtful. From the way they asked my parents if they were ready, picked up and carried the urn and momentos to the placing of the urn in the mausoleum. They did not seem to me as men who felt their time was "being wasted as they twiddled their thumbs in the back".

The deacon truly hurt me. He hurt me and my family when we are hurting the most. It was disrespectful and undeserving to my precious brother in his last moments with us and to my family near and far trying to properly grieve.

I later found out friends and family went to the supervisor and I went back to make a formal complaint the next day. Please do not let this happen to any other family. NO ONE deserves...

This cemetery is huge. It looks like four football fields joined together. Somehow the roles of headstones and beautiful trees give it a very peaceful welcoming feeling. Not at all that one caused by watching the video Thriller by Michael Jackson. 🤣🤣🤣The headstones and the pavement and the grass are very well maintained and cared for. There is a beautiful stone wall that surrounds the bulk of the cemetery from the very much robust aspect of city life. But the other side one can clearly see the beautiful rows of headstones. I am one for walks but please not during the night time. I wouldn't suggest anyone takes to walk through there. But in the daytime if you are feeling contemplative, why not? Nobody would definitely bother you there. I know that it seems taboo here in America to think too much about death. But it is a stark reality. Going to visit one of these places is a nice way to remind yourself that you were very much alive and still have a chance to...