Castle Megastore - Phoenix/Tempe — Attraction in Phoenix

Castle Megastore: Where Innocence Goes to Die (and LOVES it)

Listen. My girlfriend and I went into Castle Megastore thinking we were freaky. We thought we were seasoned. Experienced. Veterans of the horizontal Olympics.

Turns out... we were playing checkers in a world of 4D BDSM chess.

The moment we stepped in, the air changed. It smelled like latex, lube, and dangerous decisions. Wall-to-wall toys, lingerie that defied physics, and gear that looked like it was stolen from a dungeon and a spaceship. We didn’t know whether to get turned on or call NASA.

We left with:

One pair of crotchless fishnets (for her).

One leather harness (for me... don’t ask).

A toy with more settings than my TV remote.

A swing. A. FREAKING. SWING.

Yes, we installed it. Yes, the drywall may or may not be damaged. Yes, it was worth it.

The staff? Absolute legends. Not only did they not flinch when we asked, “So, how intense is too intense?” — they pointed us to a section labeled “Advanced Play” like tour guides into the seventh circle of sexy hell. Zero judgment, 100% enthusiasm.

The store is clean, organized, and gives off “sexy IKEA” vibes, minus the Swedish meatballs and plus the vibrating egg that syncs to Spotify.

Since our visit, we’ve rediscovered passion, destroyed a fitted sheet, pulled a hamstring, and high-fived mid-session. Our love life has evolved into something between Cirque du Soleil and a demonic exorcism — but in a loving, consensual way.

Castle Megastore didn’t just spice up our relationship. It turned it into a Michael Bay movie. Explosions. Sweat. Unexpected rope. Tears of joy.

If you’re ready to explore the final frontier of freaky, this is your mothership. Just don’t forget your safe word... and maybe a neck brace.

Ready to write one as a dramatic love letter? Or from the perspective of your mattress?...

--- Rude employee -- Me and my partner recently got engaged and as a gift received the KY yours and mine lube. I know from pervious experience that I’m allergic to this product and thus wanted to exchange it for something else. The product is unopened and completely sealed in the original packaging. We took the KY lube into the Washington St location to exchange it for something else. The lady helping us said she couldn’t do anything without a receipt. I asked if it could be looked up by a phone number since it was my mom who got us this as a gift. The lady helping us was reluctant; but, ended up looking it up by my mom’s phone number and confirmed the purchase. She then told it was past the 30 days. It was past the 30 days by 1 week. Me and partner have been out of the state for the holidays and we didn’t have time to go into the store to exchange it earlier. I asked the lady helping us if there was anything she could do to help us out. She said No and was rather rude about it as well. She continued to say that at least we have some nice lube despite me telling her earlier that I’m allergic to it. We ended up leaving the store with a lube that I can’t use and all we wanted to do was trade in for something else that we could enjoy.

It was a bad experience not only because we couldn’t exchange the product but because of how unhelpful and rude the employee was.

That your...

Arriving home over fifty minutes away with product which the older lady with blonde highlights persistently recommended me against my initial choosing, I discovered my $36.90 worth had lead to this now permanent marking of my leather BMW seat; upon further inspection I found that their contents had aged to unusable consistencies, so I reached out and repeatly emphasized my distance. However, they continuouly advised me to bring them back the product "to take a look at," so I did ...only to arrive and have the same woman inform me that the policy porhibits refunds and replacements.

I would have clearly saw to shop for the proper consistency by looking through their transparent packaging, had she NOT intervened in specifically grabbing those for me; only to push on me what the manufacturer had detailed me, was the result of sealant deterioration having led to expiration and leakage.

...all I wanted was an identical (viably sealed) replacement-set, discounted given my 3½ hours of driving; yet she retained such unnecessarily crude manner that I just left them there, and fled never to risk falling victim for her deceptive inventory...