A truly horrible experience. I have never stayed in a room so tiny and so uncomfortable and paid so much. It was skin to highway robbery. I was in Santa Barbara during a very busy weekend for hotels. Hotel Milo charged me $564 a night plus $30 for valet parking. That's almost $600 a night. Even at a markup, I expected at least a comfortable room that met basic standards, but I was gravely wrong.

My room was tiny and dusty. The furniture was in disrepair; the walls were crazy thin; the bed was uncomfortable and old. The worst part was the bathroom. The shower was so small that every time I turned around in there, the wall of the shower was literally in my face. The water pressure of the shower was terrible. There was no good place for the garbage can in the bathroom (again, no space), and when I arrived, the toilet paper was literally dangling into the trash. The sink had almost no counter area and I had to put my toiletries on the furniture near the bed and retrieve them one or two at a time to use in the bathroom.

I have NEVER stayed in a room this small and uncomfortable in the United States. In the Third World, yes, but not in America. Motel Six was charging several hundred bucks for a room for the same night I was in Santa Barbara, and I would've at least gotten a proper hotel room with a proper shower and bathroom there.

It is almost criminal for Hotel Milo to be renting out to guests the room they rented out to me at the price they did.

Years ago, I had stayed at this hotel for business and thoroughly enjoyed it, but that was because I had a room of normal size. The outside of the hotel is lovely and the location is excellent (right by the beach and stores, shops and restaurants). The staff of the hotel is also very friendly and helpful. I had a very late checkin and they were very accommodating.

But none of that is enough to make up for the cost of nearly $600 for an old, rundown, uncomfortable, small room that doesn't meet the basic standards for a U.S. hotel. There was also zero warning during booking regarding just hold old and small the bathroom or shower would be.

I'd suggest anyone who wants to stay in this area stay at the Harbor View Inn, where I've stayed multiple times in the past. It's a block or two away. Don't come to Hotel Milo.