Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora — Hotel in Guía de Isora

I stayed at Gran Melia in June/July 2024 for 10 days with two small children, on a half-board basis.||Overall, I’d rate the stay as okay, but if you want a truly enjoyable experience, prepare to pay extra – a lot extra – for everything, even after you think you’ve already paid for “everything included.”||Cons:||1. Segregation of Guests|There’s a strong feeling of hierarchy. If you’re on bed & breakfast, you’ll feel like a second-class citizen. Even all-inclusive guests don’t get the full experience – only “Red Level Ultra Mega Super VIP” guests do. And even then, there are extras to pay for.||2. Location|The location is quiet, which could be a pro or cons depending on your needs. It’s close to Los Gigantes (about €15 taxi) and €30–€40 to Adeje. There’s one medium-sized shop and a few restaurants nearby, but otherwise, it’s a sleepy village.||3. Overpriced Drinks|There’s no logic in pricing. A bottle of water at breakfast or dinner is €4 – yes, for water. Cocktails are €15–€20 (though admittedly very good), and all drinks are extremely overpriced.||4. Drinks Not Included with Half Board|Even basic drinks aren't included unless you go all-inclusive. Only self-service coffee is provided.||5. Pointless Queuing System|You have to queue to be seated for breakfast or dinner, which slows things down unnecessarily.||6. Boring Entertainment|Most of the entertainment is dull. A piano with candles might sound romantic, but it put me to sleep. The circus was equally underwhelming. Only one show – the rock night – was genuinely enjoyable.||7. Needs Renovation|The hotel is marketed as 5-star but feels worn. The wooden decking near the Oasis restaurant is unstable – not nailed down, just floating. Public bathroom doors have cheap bolt locks, like in a fast food joint. Elevators broke down a few times, and with a double pram, it was a real struggle. Only one lift provides access to the main infinity pool – not great for disabled guests.||8. Strange Room Design|Rooms are spacious but odd. Bathrooms have a 90s-style wall phone, no toilet brush (despite several requests), and showers with loose tiles on top of the tray. No mop provided either, so we had to sacrifice towels to keep the floor dry.||9. Annoying Flies Everywhere|There were tons of flies around the hotel – on our balcony, in the room, and around the infinity pool. Possibly due to the nearby banana farm, but still very irritating.||10. Infinity Pool Bed Wars|Beds at the infinity pool are “reserved” early and left empty for hours. Disabled-access loungers and the Red Level family area were often completely unused – yet families with toddlers like us weren’t allowed to use them.||11. Pools Not Heated|None of the pools are heated – not even the kids’ pool.||12. San Juan Holiday – Missed Opportunity|Our stay coincided with Noche de San Juan. The hotel charged around €20 per adult and €10 per child for a basic BBQ and some fire displays – no fireworks. Luckily, we found a much better alternative (see Tips below).||13. Paid Parking & Inconvenience|Parking is €5–€10 per day – no valet, just standard parking. On our final day, I parked by reception for the hire company to collect the car, but was told to move it and park on the street instead. Very inconvenient.||14. Overpriced On-Site Restaurants|Restaurants are massively overpriced for what they offer. You’d expect Michelin star quality for these prices, but that’s not the case. It’s better to take a short taxi ride to the nearest resort – you'll get better food at a better price.||Pros:|1. Spacious Rooms|2. Delicious Food|3. Instagrammable Hotel Grounds|4. Shops with Reasonable Prices Nearby|5. Luckily, with Easyjet on 10 days stay, we had 2 restaurant visits free (but still have to pay premium for drinks)||Tips:|1. Visit the Beach Club|Just outside the hotel but still part of it. It’s cheaper, has good food and cocktails, and access to a small sandy beach.||2. Skip San Juan at the Hotel|If your stay includes Noche de San Juan (summer solstice), don’t pay for the hotel’s celebration. Instead, take a taxi (~€15) to Playa de Santiago in Puerto de Santiago. In 2024, they had a bachata masterclass, Latin music, a well-priced beach bar (cash only), amazing 10-minute fireworks (rare in Tenerife), and a Poseidon-style figure burned on the beach – a magical experience.||3. Hire a Car|Exploring Tenerife by car is absolutely worth it – the island is stunning.||Final Verdict:|The hotel looks fantastic on the outside, but you’ll need to either pay a premium for a truly luxurious experience or accept that many things just won’t meet 5-star expectations. There are some great aspects, but too many disappointments...

This hotel has some fantastic views and looks very picturesque, especially by the infinity pools. This may lure you in, but think twice and read some of the reviews first. The value proposition might not be as good as you think.||I'd like to state that in my opinion this hotel is not 5 stars, and in many areas it is not even close. The devil is in the details, and there are so many errors and poor design choices that prevent this hotel from living up to the hype:||- Water isn't readily available in the room with only a 33cl bottle per guest as the allocation. You will need to bring your own from the restaurants or bars at the end of the day.||- Showers are strong and hot, but the fit is shabby, and they leak water into the bathroom with each use.||- Unlikely you will get coffee with breakfast. We were only served it 2 out of 7 times. Sadly, the two times we did get a pot, it was barely warm.||- Most staff are pleasant, but some are very grumpy and seem unhappy to serve you. It's probably because the hotel is chronically understaffed. On the whole they are great, but the service is definitely inconsistent.||- Poolside service is pretty much non-existent. Saw one or two waiting staff the whole time, and they were very overburdened.||- The All-inclusive manages to be the least inclusive I've ever seen. The drinks menu is very hit and miss with what's included. Asked for various drinks from the menu to be told "No that's not included". As an example, asking for a Mimosa will yield different results based on where in the hotel you are. It's all very confusing.||- Being told No was a common theme for our stay, which is quite disappointing, especially when you are paying the 5 star price tag. You can usually find a way around it. Instead of ordering an Irish coffee (not included), order a coffee and a shot of baileys or whiskey. This is a bit crazy and you shouldn't need to 'game' the system at these prices.||- Extras are v.expensive, and off menu drinks are 18 to 20 euros, even for non alcoholic. There are lots of mechanics and means to extract extra cash out of you, and it can become tiresome to try and weave in between the arbitrary rules around what's included.||- Sunbeds are very outdated and quite uncomfortable with zero padding. You can't adjust them easily, and definitely not whilst sat or lay on them. Towel allocation is oddly strict with 1 per guest max.||- The buffet has fairly good variety, but it's all a bit missjointed, and each section doesn't complement another. Your best bet is to wait in line for some freshly cooked fish or meat. Lots of the other fayre is either luke warm or strangely inaccessible under very heavy cast iron lids, meaning you have to open and view lots of disappointing dishes to find something you like. The lack of any main event or themed night means it becomes predictable fast. Sadly, there is very little for children other than the desserts, which are good.||- The a'la carte restaurants are where you want to be eating and are generally very nice with lots of fresh fish and speciality dishes. Make sure you book as early as possible as they fill up fast. You don't get told this until it's too late, which can be a frustration.||- The kids entertainment is great, and there is a special pool for younger children with slides and extra water features. Oddly, there is no snack bar or access to refreshments from here, which is awkward when looking after children.||There were many missed opportunities during our stay that could have felt decidedly not 5 stars.||A few examples:|- It took 3 hours for our suitcases to make it from the lobby to our rooms. Not ideal after a full day of travel.|- A smashed glass in the room, never replaced or even cleaned up properly.|- Waiting 30 mins for drinks orders that never appear.|- Kids activities, like face painting, inexplicably on at 9:30pm|- Lots of roped off areas or intentionally blocked paths.|- Mediocre entertainment, with poor staging area.|- Tired and dated furniture in and around the lobby areas.|- Ancient phone / intercom system in the bedrooms that don't work.|- Even a giant phone in the bathroom. Nobody needs this, and it's just in the way.||My advice to the managers is please spend some money updating the facilities, plumbing and poolside furniture, hire more staff and do a better job of informing guests about the ins and outs of 'Melia' law on what is permitted, when and where.||My advice to would be travellers is go in expecting a slightly wobbly 3-4 star experience that has the very occasional 5 star moment, And be prepared be pay extra for...

This is a hotel that looks amazing from the outside but is lacking on the inside. Fur coat nae knickers is an appropriate expression.

Upon arrival we were ‘upgraded’ to a room which turned out to be a room overlooking a fence and a road. The sound of traffic and loud music passing by was not relaxing. We asked to move and after visiting a room that had the same orientation we were put in a room that had a lovely view of the resort and pool. This took a couple of hours and was a waste of time.

It is worth noting that we travelled with a 5 month old baby who asked us why we weren’t put in a nice room to begin with. He didn’t say that. He just cried for the duration of the moves.

It transpired that there is an adult side and a family side of this hotel. If you are travelling with children then be warned - it is not important for you to have a nice view (according to this hotel).

They also anticipated we have a 5 month old baby and put a camp bed in our room after we asked for a cot.

The room has been very well staged online. In person it is dark, lacking maintenance and stinks. The fabrics had been heavily cleaned with a strong odour cleaner and the drains (even on floor 4) were badly smelling. The room requires renovation to keep up with the rates that they are charging.

The restaurants, which is known from other reviews, are a completely fun way of eating out. You must book before 12pm on the day of eating (too bad if you check in at 3pm - you should have checked in earlier. Oh wait, it’s not possible). If you arrive minutes late then you are refused entry. Finally once we were able to eat we had a great meal.

We asked to move rooms eventually for night 2 in the morning and were told reception would ring at 3pm. At 8.15pm they called and offered us a room move. Once again, our 5 month old rolled over and said what on earth. Just kidding. He was asleep.

The other reviews giving the hotel 5 stars are suspicious and seem to be very high praising of a badly rated restaurant within the hotel. Mentioning certain specific staff members seems like it was written by a collective of internal staff.

There is plenty of discussion in other reviews about the red level. For those that don’t know, red level is an adults only hotel. However, it is the same hotel as the normal gran melia family hotel. So in order to get around this the hotel has very cleverly created serration (because everybody wants to be segregated on holiday). So if you’re an adult and have paid for ‘red level’ you may enter into this cordoned off sun bed zone. Sound doesn’t travel past the chained fence. Equally this applies at breakfast and the chained off seating area. Some restaurants are exclusively ‘red level’ and so even the non-red level guests can’t fathom what might be behind those doors. My 5 month old asked about who the special people were behind the red level barriers. I explained they’re special, they paid more and booked an adults only experience in a large family hotel and so we must respect their peace. I further explained that one day when he grows up he would be able to enjoy being a ‘red level member’. He said it sounds stupid, why wouldn’t the red level adults just book one of the numerous wonderful looking adult only resorts in the rest of Tenerife? I’m kidding. He just cried as I tried to comfort him by walking up and down past the red level member (sound) barrier.

Towels are controlled by cards. Lose the card and pay 25 euros. Want to use the big Bali bed? Pay 200 euros.

Prior to staying here we stayed at the ritz Carlton. It’s a similar price and on paper looks the same. However the ritz Carlton is another league above the gran Meliá.

Gran melia is a low 4 star that has been well staged to look 5 star. If you are interested in a nice family and even non family experience then avoid this hotel. It is a waste of time. The management let this hotel down, the hotel is full of arbitrary rules and segregation that are unsettling and not welcome on holiday. Better off spending your time and...