On the evening of October 24, 2023, I realized I needed to make a change in my life.
With my head in my hands, pushing my hair back nervously, while filled with confusion and despair, and with a head full of dead-ends and frizz, I, once and for all, decided that it was time...
Some may call the change I was in need of a, "drastic," one, but it had to be done. I sat, alone, on my living room floor, contemplating the steps I had taken in my life that brought me to that very moment of realization. "Why did I tell that barber that I trusted his judgement??" Why did I put, not only my hair, but my confidence in the hands of someone who they themselves had a wack cut???
Picture a fork in the road, but the fork wasn't found on a country back road, it was found deep within my roots.... and I didn't have a GPS. This was one of those defining moments in one's life where you either continue going forward, style-less.... or you take your power back and become STYLISH!
I woke up the morning of October 25, 2023, for the first time since that last debacle of a haircut, filled with hope. The type of hope Obama instilled in the American people in 2008. Except, this hope wasn't built on empty promises and Chicago deep dish pizza. No... this hope was for real. As I brushed my teeth, I took one last look at the unnatural cow-lick I was gifted by a man with blatant disregard for each follicle on my head, like the worst office Secret Santa gift anyone could get. Worse than a gift card to the now defunct Borders Books... "Today is the day, Matt," I told myself. "Today, it ends... the dead ends end..."
I kissed my family goodbye as if I was going off to war. With tears in my wife's eyes, she smiled. "I am so proud of you..."
"If you think you're proud now... wait until you see me when I get home," I said with a confidence I hadn't felt since the first time I ever grew hair as an infant. Whisked away by the wind, and by the desire to be a better man, I grabbed my floral patterned Hawaiian shirt and hastily made it out the door of my 3 bed/ 1.5 bath double wide mobile home.
The travel was harsh. I braved conditions I hadn't planned for. There was a lite breeze and it was unseasonably pleasant. I survived...
When I arrived at Dapper Cuts, the men behind the sheers greeted me as if I was there to deliver rations that were desperately needed to continue the grand plan. The plan of providing the residents of Fort Myers with exceptional fades, blow-outs, hot towel shaves, laughs, and smiles.
Christian headed the call of duty with an unparalleled and vehement passion, his clippers diligently buzzed around my head, as if they were dancing in an Off Broadway production of The Wizard Of Oz, but it was actually The Wizard Of Making My Male Pattern Baldness look good.
They say it's better to burn out than to fade away. I disagree... I'll fade away at Dapper Cuts before I go to any other barber shop in Downtown Fort Myers. Those shops have absolutely no effect on me, no matter how hard they phone it in.
I returned home, my wife waiting at the door. "So, what do you think," I asked.
"Wait... you were getting your haircut!? You told me you were finally going to pick up what we needed so you can fix the lawnmower and cut the yard!!!"
Today, the only cut that took place was Christian at Dapper Cuts cutting my hair, and I wouldn't...
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