Fancy Hank's Barbecue Restaurant — Restaurant in Melbourne

Now, onto the culinary disaster that is their menu. Let me preface this by saying that barbecue is meant to be indulgent, hearty, and satisfying. What I received, however, was a study in culinary disappointment, served at a price point that suggests the cows used for their brisket were hand-fed golden hay and massaged daily by professional livestock therapists.

Let’s cut right to the chase—brisket. The crown jewel of any self-respecting barbecue establishment. The dish that should define the very essence of smoke, flavor, and carnivorous satisfaction. And yet, what I received was two pitiful, unceremoniously plated slices of meat that looked like they had barely survived a kitchen hostage situation. For $30, I expected something worthy of poetry, a masterpiece that would make Texas pitmasters shed a single tear of pride. Instead, I was greeted with an overpriced, uninspired, lukewarm disappointment that had the audacity to call itself brisket.

The real kicker? The coffee and molasses sauce. If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to dip regret, I highly recommend taking a generous bite of brisket smothered in this abomination. It was as if someone had bottled the essence of burnt coffee, blended it with the sorrow of culinary misjudgment, and finished it off with the faint whisper of molasses that should have stayed in the factory where it belonged. The taste profile? Indistinguishable from what I imagine expired cough syrup would taste like, with a final aftertaste so offensive that I momentarily considered making a public service announcement warning others to avoid it at all costs.

Brisket Loaded Fries ($24) – Ah yes, because nothing says "value" like fries with a smattering of brisket, likely measured with an atomic-scale precision instrument to ensure not a molecule more than necessary is served. This dish should be called "Financially Loaded Fries" because, at $24, I might as well have taken a handful of money, set it on fire, and inhaled the ashes for a more enriching experience. Chicken – Or should I say, the mythical, elusive, non-existent chicken. There was exactly one type of chicken dish on the menu. And, because Fancy Hank’s relishes in the art of disappointment, it was unavailable. That’s right. The only poultry option on their already limited menu was missing in action, like a fugitive evading capture.

Desserts – If you enjoy paying premium prices for bite-sized portions that leave you contemplating the meaning of life and your financial decisions, then by all means, go ahead. If, however, you prefer a dessert that exists in quantities large enough to actually be classified as a dessert, you might as well walk into your nearest bakery and order something that doesn’t require a second mortgage to afford.

Two stars—one for existing, and another for successfully teaching me the valuable life lesson that not all barbecue experiences are created equal, and some are best left...

When you start a food tour, showcasing the best that Melbourne has to offer, you take them to the best American Smoked Styled cooking – Fancy Hank’s. Having moved from outside the Queen Victoria Market recently, I couldn’t wait to try out their offering. And my oh my, it did not disappoint.

Located right next door to Grand Trailer Park Taverna, you would wonder why? Why do people get so spoilt for choice. Like really? They already have the Grand Trailer Park right next door…..breathe Nige Breathe!

Fancy Hank’s is an American styled smoked BBQ cooking and one that is worthy of the mantle of best restaurant in Melbourne. In this setting you get to choose from a fixed lunch menu option or go for your choice of meats (chicken/beef/Pork) and truth be told, you would be a fool to choose chicken from here. Yes it’s amazing. Yes, you can enjoy it but why would you go to a heavenly places like this to eat chicken. I don’t judge you. I’m just very disappointed.

Kicking of The Domestic Traveller food tours for my good bud Louis – we chose the platters of Pork Shoulder, Beef Brisket, Iceberg Lettuce wedges in Blue Cheese sauce and BBQ flavoured chips. How do I put this? Hallelujah!!

The meat was tender and melted in your mouth. The Pork Shoulder was phenomenal that has it’s flavour infused all through itself. The marble on the beef brisket was beyond expectation and just too damn good. I could go into details but that would be doing the meal an injustice. Oh and the onions that came with it? Good gawd I don’t know how they managed to pull that off. Succulent and fried yet soft. And the sliced pickles were so fresh that you come to realise that there is a party in your mouth and you were invited.

Now I for one don’t make friends with salad. I eat it because I need to but you won’t find me going out of my way to do this. When it came time to consume the lettuce, the blue cheese sauce saved the day. Plus they cut the lettuce in wedges. Literal wedges. I dunno. It just made sense.

And the BBQ flavoured chips? I knew that I would have to workout. I was ok with that. To top this off? Their service is so close to perfection that I think some of the other more ‘prestigious’ restaurants need to pick up and emulate. Our hostess gave good advice and was genuinely interested in what we had to say and also gave us some good photography advice!

The icing on the cake ? The owner, Darra, saw us post on Instagram and spoke to us. Since when does a restaurant owner in the big city, come around to say thanks? Well, Darra. Thank you. For opening an amazing restaurant in Melbourne. And for doing what you do best!

You have a raving fan here and now one...

In town for the weekend and up to no good, we landed here for a late lunch after flying in from Sydney. I had no idea where we were headed—one of the boys made the plans, and I was just happily along for the ride.

After climbing the first flight of stairs, we were greeted by the biggest offset smoker I’ve ever seen in a restaurant (or anywhere else, outside of the internet). It set the tone right away.

We grabbed a window seat near the cool blinds that gave off a bit of an 80s vibe. The staff explained the menu, and while we could order via QR code, we opted for the old-school method—chatting to the staff and taking their recommendations.

To kick things off: • Beer, of course.

We ordered the PREMIUM PLATTER – $69pp Choose three meats and three sides. Comes with devilled egg, smoked nuts and buffalo wings to start.

Buffalo Wings: Hands down the best wings I’ve ever eaten. Crispy, covered in an amazing sauce, and juicy inside. We left nothing but bones—absolutely perfect.

We subbed out the devilled eggs for BBQ Corn Ribs (one mate doesn’t do eggs), and what a substitute—smoked garlic, pickled jalapeño, BBQ seasoning. Bloody delicious. The flavours were spot-on, and it was the perfect warm-up for what was to come.

Meats: • Brisket – 16-hour smoked ‘Wanderer’ barley-fed Angus. Perfect texture, flavour, and temperature. • Baby Back Pork Ribs – With a house-made plum glaze. One of the guys reckoned these were competition-level. Agreed. • Pork Belly Bacon – 6-hour smoked free-range from Borrowdale, QLD. Big flavour. Perfectly cooked.

Sides: • Mac n Cheese – Not really my thing, but the boys liked it. • Coleslaw – Fresh, crisp, no complaints. • Chicken Schmaltz Cornbread – We were so full I didn’t get to it, but it looked amazing.

A few more beers followed—because why not?

Highlight: The wings. No question. But the corn ribs and all three meats weren’t far behind.

The restaurant itself has a great vibe—cool space, super friendly and passionate staff who clearly love what they do. We had an awesome afternoon. I’d come back in...