Poke the Bear Cafe — Restaurant in Melbourne

Poke the Bear in Northcote is NOT child friendly. My almost 2yo son was in a bit of a tetchy mood, so I gave him my iPhone to watch ABC Kids on. The volume was about halfway. After about 10 mins, the waiter (owner?) came over and told me to turn it off. I thought he must have been mistaken, so I said I would turn it down. He said no, you need to turn it off. I decided to cancel our food and leave.

He came up to me as I was paying for our tea (not yet touched) and baby chino and said he had to worry about other people in the cafe. It wasn’t full and people aren’t able to sit close together atm anyway. The other waiter said he must have meant turn it down, so I clarified and again said I would have been fine to turn it right down, but he maintained that he wanted it off. I said my son would have made more noise than the iPhone on low sound and at that he asked why I didn’t sit out the front then (when I arrived he had tried to get me to sit outside). I don’t think it’s fair that kids have to sit outside!

As I left, I remembered the last time I was there about six months ago, before my son would have been content watching my phone. My son was happy screaming and trying to get the attention of the other customers to smile at (they were happily engaging). I remember feeling like the waiter wasn’t pleased but I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination. It was probably the same guy.

He also took ages to serve us and barked at me to sit down as I waited for the highchair. Don’t have highchairs if you don’t want children in your cafe. It was a cafe at brunch, not a restaurant. Does he expect mothers to stay at home and not go to cafes? We don’t...

Food was good, but the fella who works there (?owner) was really rude.

I was with my partner and we were wondering if if was some kind of hidden camera joke. We made a mistake when we entered by missing the sign at the front to wait to be seated. It's quite easy to miss the sign as it is position low at the entrance when you enter looking for someone and not easy to miss. But acknowledge that we made a mistake. Instead of managing it with any kind of social skill the fella felt to necessary to state 'If you had read the sign....blah blah.' Could have been easily and effortlessly fixed but he chose to make an issue. I then ordered something from the vegan menu and instead of just saying 'so you're having the vegan blah blah...' he said patronisingly 'this is the vegan menu' and then proceeded to place his finger on the menu pointing to the Vegan Menu heading as if I needed help to read or implying that I had made a mistake. I'm not a vegan, but if I were I would have been very offended about how he seem to have decided 'you don't look like a vegan'. My partner had to point out to him that 'yes, he CAN read'.

Highly recommend if you want to see comedic poor customer service. Otherwise you might leave...

I had the ‘Papa bear’; eggs benny with salmon. It was so AMAZING, it just had me joyfully bopping my head after each bite. The hollandaise sauce was rich but balanced by the tangy ACV. The apple fennel salad was crispy and fresh, complimenting the Benedict. This dish could be more elevated if the hashbrown was served crispier and warmer, as it was a bit cold and mushy.

I need to sing praises for the slow roasted mushrooms! I had a nimble from my friend’s dish (she also enjoyed her meal :)) and it was incredibly meaty, juicy and a flavourful mushroom, will definitely order that as a side dish next time!!

The sprinkles of bears found everywhere was eye candy as a bear lover !! Quite a fun and funky bar vibe too.

Hygiene could be improved, as the cups given were dirty and my table not cleaned before being seated, as it was visibly laced with salt and crumbs from the previous customer.

As someone who is obsessed with eggs Benedict, Poke the bears is added as top tier in my list! I am coming back again for this dish and the bears :) thank youuu

P.S thank you for letting me take photos, I hope I didn’t blind...