L'Huitrière — Restaurant in Le Havre

A Masterclass in Disappointment – Michelin, Are You Watching?

L'Huitrière in Etretat is truly a one-of-a-kind experience. From the moment we walked in, we were greeted by a cold, distant stare from the staff that could rival a Siberian winter. The sheer lack of enthusiasm was impressive – it takes real talent to make customers feel unwelcome the second they walk through the door. A warm welcome? Not here. At L'Huitrière, indifference is served cold, right alongside your future meal.

Now, onto the main event – the menu. Curious about the fish of the day (since it was clearly written there), I made the mistake of asking our server. You would think I had inquired about quantum physics based on the utter confusion on their face. After a few awkward seconds of silence, it became clear they had no idea, nor did they have any intention of checking with the kitchen. Asking about your own restaurant’s menu? That’s for amateurs. Here, we play by different rules.

The amuse-bouche arrived with great fanfare: a small dish of olives that looked like they had survived a nuclear winter. No taste, no freshness – just sad, wrinkled relics of what might have been food a few days ago. If this was meant to "amuse" my palate, it failed spectacularly.

Next, the three-course menu. What an absolute journey! The oysters came first, already open – that’s nice, I thought. But upon further inspection, they weren’t even cut from the shell, forcing me to wrestle with them like a caveman at the table. As if that wasn’t enough, they had this off-putting milky residue. Yum. Really top-notch quality here.

But nothing could prepare me for the main dish. Where do I even start? The mashed potatoes were an incredible scientific achievement. Somehow, they managed to be both ice-cold in some parts and scorching hot in others, making me wonder if they had been reheated by someone angrily slamming a microwave door. The potatoes were so lumpy and tasteless that I briefly questioned whether they had forgotten to cook them altogether. And the vegetables? Well, they were either fermented or desperately pretending to be pickles. The fish – dry as sandpaper, completely devoid of flavor, and utterly overcooked. Not even a hint of herbs or seasoning. It was as if someone had actively tried to remove any trace of taste from the plate. A true masterpiece of blandness.

I have no words for the dessert.....

Now, you’d think for this level of culinary confusion, they’d at least get the basics right. But no, not at L'Huitrière. They conveniently forgot to bring us water, which added a nice touch of dehydration to our dining experience. And the wait time between courses? Let’s just say, it gave me plenty of time to admire the view. I mean, why serve food when you can leave your customers to contemplate the meaning of life between each course? At one point, I actually started to wonder if they were secretly trying to make us leave by dragging the whole ordeal out as long as possible.

The décor and the view – oh yes, it’s all very beautiful. But don't be fooled by appearances. This place is a well-oiled machine of disappointment, beautifully disguised by its charming surroundings. It lures you in with the promise of elegance and fine dining, only to deliver a dining experience so abysmal that it feels like a cruel joke. For the astronomical prices they charge, you’d think you were eating at a Michelin-starred restaurant. Well, Michelin, if you’re reading this, you might want to give them a call. They’ve certainly perfected the art of making food an unforgettable experience – for all the wrong reasons.

So, if you’re looking for overpriced, flavorless dishes, served by staff who couldn’t care less, all while being denied basic hydration and enduring marathon-like wait times between courses – L'Huitrière is your spot. Bravo, L'Huitrière, you’ve set a new standard for terrible dining. I’ll be telling everyone about this place... just not in the...

Quite a disappointment, tourist trap or just a bad day? Sharp, pushy tone for greeting downstairs. Upstairs, a nice place as such, a rather calm, not too busy atmosphere, enough staff around, too - so one thought. Orders took extremely long and then, after substantial waiting time, twice the wrong dishes were served, and partially not in such a good shape anymore. On request, we indicated things hadn't been going too well that far, the waitress got first defensive, but later apologised for it, behaved very friendly henceforth and offered complimentary drinks. The desert was quite nice. The bill was presented with a "20% discount" for the inconvenience. A proper and fair gesture in principle - bummer, these 20% had only been applied to the wine. We gave up, refrained from pointing that out and left with a friendly greeting - we are in France after all. Conclusion: Honestly, we can't...

We booked this restaurant to celebrate birthday of my husband and we planned to celebrate it in a good place like it looked in google but we were really disappointed!! Looks like 4,2 google rate and good reviews are fake. We ordered menu 35 eur per person , 3 dishes. And only oysters and cheese were okay. Because it was not cooked by their “genius “ cook. He/she should not work in this business because taste of dishes was more than disgusting 🤢 Purée was not fresh, tasted like from “yesterday “ potatoes. Vegetables smelled like they are starting to ferment. Fried chicken was soooo bad , never tasted so dry chicken!!!! It tasted like it was boiled few days ago and fried a bit today. So cheap and low quality products! And the saddest thing that it’s not fresh and almost rotten. What a shame! They destroyed our dinner and of course I don’t recommend this place! Stay...