Crabby Jo's - Wrights of Howth — Restaurant in Fingal

I don't normally leave reviews, but this place deserves every bit of criticism. I came to this so-called seaside restaurant expecting at least a halfway decent plate of fish and chips — it’s the bare minimum when you're this close to the ocean. What I got instead was an overpriced, underwhelming disaster that actually made me angry.

First of all, the price. You’d think they caught the fish with a golden net or served it on a platinum plate. For what I paid, I was expecting a full, hearty portion. Instead, I got a tiny, sad piece of fish that looked like it had been sitting under a heat lamp for hours and a pitiful handful of limp, greasy fries that somehow managed to be both soggy and dry at the same time. I’ve had better chips out of a freezer bag at home — seriously.

As for the taste? What taste? The fish was bland, completely underseasoned, and had the texture of cardboard. You could’ve blindfolded me and told me it was a battered sponge, and I might’ve believed you. It was so forgettable that halfway through I genuinely questioned why I was still eating it — probably out of sheer disbelief.

Value for money? Nonexistent. I felt like I was paying a premium to be insulted. This isn’t high-end dining. This isn’t even decent pub food. It’s daylight robbery with a view of the sea.

Avoid this place at all costs. You're better off grabbing a sandwich from a petrol station and eating it on a bench — at least you won’t walk away feeling cheated...

Went as a group of 4 friends that wanted to enjoy some seafood at lunch while enjoying the sun outside. We had to ask for other glasses because the first ones were dirty with lipstick. The second ones were also dirty and we cleaned them ourselves, not wanting to disturb more. We asked 3 times for the waitress not to leave before we finished our order because apparently she was in a hurry and stopped writing before we could complete the order. For starters, we asked for an extra spoon to share, 3 times because the waitresses always forgot. The main took forever to be delivered in our table and only 2 dishes were delivered, and while we waited for the other 2 dishes the waitress came and asked us not to touch the food because it was probably for another table and she had to confirm first. We already had the food in front of us for a couple of minutes. Apologized for the delay blaming the colleagues from the kitchen, instead of assuming the chaos of the entire team. In the end, we payed without giving tip, because it was the worse service we ever had, and the waitress that listened to our private comment regarding the expensive bill and lack of quality, came at us, aggressively, in the middle of all the tables full with other clients, saying that her service was good and that we didn’t know what we were talking about, and i think that just shows how good her service was. Very...

My family had a lovely lunch here. We had prawns, the traditional fish and chips, and a meal off the children's menu. The atmosphere was pleasant, the fish was delightfully fresh, and the prices were reasonable.

Why only two stars?

Throughout our meal we noted that the young waiting staff were overwhelmed with the volume of work they were expected to do. Still, they treated us very well and when the bill came we deliberated and decided to offer a larger than usual tip.

We asked to put our tip on the card, assuming that staff would receive the tip but learned that they, in fact, would not. Since we were paying with a card, the "tip" that we offered would be absorbed by the company and not passed on to the staff. Thankfully we had some cash to offer them a direct tip. But this ruined a lovely experience. We would have come back often but we will not return until we hear that this policy is changed. How could this be anything other than theft twice over - first from us by taking what was not intended for them, and more importantly, from the staff? I am not qualified to comment, but I suspect that this isn't just morally dubious, but actively illegal under the incoming Payment of Wages (Amendment) Bill.

TL;DR: Food is great and everything is in place for this to be a reliable, good place. But it turns out they may be keeping tips from their staff, which is frankly...