You may read this and assume I am elderly, or just grumpy.. this is not the case and this restaurant is way overhyped.

Go somewhere else, literally anywhere else. If you ignored this review and then went to Porfirio's, I told you so. You probably sat their with your girlfriend and pretended it was super fun. You know it sucked, the food was mediocre, your ear drums are still recovering, and your girlfriend was suddenly "really tired" when you got back to the room. I tried to warn you. You didn't listen, and now your sad and lonely. That's on you bro.

If you want a cool location with great food, look up Lido. It's just down the street on the beach. Get the hummus to start, everything on their menu is fantastic. You are welcome!

There are much better options than Porfirio's for the price. The menu options are ok, again there are much better options near by.

This place employs all the sales tactics of the tourist shops along this road: be louder than everyone else ✔️ sell you "culture", we've got mariachi ✔️ ignore you once you've shown disinterest ✔️

This place is obnoxious, the music alone is crazy loud, then the mariachi band starts to blast their instruments in competition with the restaurant's music. We were seated along the outer edge of the restaurant. Passers by on the street relentlessly tried to sell us roses, staff did nothing to stop these street sales people.

The menu is limited for the price. Looking around the restaurant most people looked more like they were stuck than enjoying the atmosphere, food, and experience. We had a glass of wine and chose to wait on placing a food order to see if it is bearable to sit through the mariachi. The mariachi seem to be trying to get the attention of people on the street making it way too loud inside the restaurant. We finished our wine and requested the bill. The staff were exceptionally rude after we declined to order food and requested the bill. Our waiter brought the manager over and she asked why we were not ordering food. I told her the atmosphere is not for us, it's too loud. She said we should not have taken the table if we did not intend on ordering food. I tried to explain that as we walked up the music did not seem that loud and the mariachi were not playing. We had passed by the restaurant during the day, and heard good reviews from people in the area. Being there, it just wasn't for us. The manager asked that we follow her to a host stand to pay the bill. As we got to the stand the manager ignored us, talking into her headset and nearby staff. We waited, standing next to the manager, for 3 minutes before I told her we were going to leave regardless if the bill was paid or not. It was at this point she printed our bill and allowed us to pay.