I had the unfortunate experience of dining at this establishment, and it was nothing short of a culinary catastrophe. From the moment I walked in, I knew I was in for a treat – and by "treat," I mean a descent into frozen food hell.

The menu read like a tantalizing symphony of flavors, but the reality was a discordant cacophony of mediocrity. I ordered the steak and Milanese chicken, hoping for a sizzling, mouthwatering experience. Instead, what arrived on my plate can only be described as a culinary crime. The steak had all the tenderness of a shoe sole, and the Milanese chicken seemed like a reheat from last week's leftovers. Both dishes tasted as though they'd been stored in a cryogenic chamber, with flavors as frosty as the Arctic.

To add insult to injury, I was seated on a plastic chair that felt like it had been salvaged from a discount warehouse. It wobbled precariously, making me question the stability of the entire dining experience. As I reached for the mismatched cutlery, I couldn't help but wonder if the utensils had been gathered from a lost and found box.

The side offering was equally pitiful, consisting of two rolls that were more akin to miniature boulders than bread. The so-called "5 Euro bread basket" felt like a cruel joke, as if they'd gone out of their way to overcharge for the privilege of consuming cardboard-like carbohydrates.

The only thing that arrived promptly was my bill, a cruel reminder that I had paid for this culinary disaster. If you enjoy the sensation of your taste buds going into hibernation, your wallet taking a hit, and the added thrill of precarious seating and mismatched cutlery, this restaurant is the place for you. Otherwise, I suggest you run far, far away in search of an actual dining experience that won't leave you questioning the very essence of food and the stability of your chair and utensils.